why god doing this to me syndrome :)

Dear friends,

I think many of us are suffering from this syndrome, I don't know why but from past two days im feeling very low, currently im not living with my inlaws, we r living in abroad and they r living in native in India.

in earlier years of my marriage I use to cry to god everyday why he is doing this to me because, I didn't get my visa approved to stay with my husband in abroad, pils didn't allow me to stay at my parents home stating dils should live with inlaws only until one year it was rosy. Im the only dil for good or bad I don't know. intial 4 years of my marriage was hell for me as fil used to drunk and use to abuse me a lot. At that time mil & sils used to support me a lot when fil tried to abuse me. But they had taken a word from me I should not tell anything to my husband regarding my fil. I obeyed them when fil was in normal mood he used to be very nice to me. so I didn't care for things when he was drinking mode. later mil also changed may be my goodness was taken as granted. lot of misunderstandings were created between me & dh. in all days I used to cry to god why u r doing this to me . god had listened to me I got visa to stay with husband.

Then for somedays everything was fine husband was changing into dear husband mode. Then again started infertility problems all the couples married with us was ready for the second child. A lot of pressure from both set of parents for grandchild. Again I used to cry to god why u r doing this to me. Again god listened to me with a baby in my womb.

Then come another set of problems mil took me to their home when my ds was 3months old. I stayed their for whole two months. Again it was a hell for me with abusive fil & non caring mil. again iused to cry to god. No body will believe me within this two months I almost lost 20 kgs of weight because of the mental agony I went through. Again I used to cry to god. Then I came to abroad but this mental agony (ppd also supported) made me went into depression may be my husband realized at that time only what im going through he stood as a pillar for me.

now he supports me, we r a happy couple god has answered my prayers. but still this syndrome is not living me. may be god is feeling im neglecting him when im in a happy mood.

The bitterness of my after married life with inlaws is not leaving me. when someone says something good about their inlaws im going into bad mood. comparing my inlaws with them im feeling bad. Again these days im asking god why u r doing this to me. May be in previous birth I had done something really cruel that's why god is punishing me.

I can say everything is fine with me now but this syndrome is not leaving me.

I poured my heart out again I can relax for some days, had any of you sufferimg with this syndrome please pour in your heart.

 

dear,
The fun thing is yesterday when I logged in, somebody has revived ARTHI MAHALAKSHMI old thread "ALL DILS I ENVY YOU". I felt very happy reading that thread. But I don't know why again I went into bad mood.

im now working on to forget past and lead a blessed life. Thank u all for your kind words.