how do u feel if ur mil keeps praising abt ur sil infront of u

hi Iladies
Its true that we've to ignore
But whatever we do with full energy, immediately my mil says what's this work, my elder one does more than this - blah, blah,
I do ignore her when she tells silly things, but she says that I'm deaf
I get irritated if she says this
what do I do to handle this situation???
-vinnyvishy

 

It never ends.
My SIL has done regular MBA with first class that too growing up her lil daughter. I really appreciate the fact and join my MIL in praising her. BUT when its compared to me not going for child as i'm doing my MBA, I don't like it. The fact is it is my and DH's cautious decision and I can't be blamed if my SIL and her hubby went for a child during her MBA. Another thing my MIL purposefully ignores is that i'm handling a business and not sitting at home as a mother and housewife with a first class MBA degree in hand. I have seen how the baby is 'being taken care of' due to her mother's studies.
My SIL is soooooooooo beautiful and i proudly tell this to everyone. But my MIL uses it other way she says because my SIL and her DH are good looking, their baby is good looking and she is concerned about ours as i'm not so good looking. I still haven't got an answer to it.
For cooking my DH bluntly tells his mom and sis to let me do it coz he likes what i cook so no question of comparing still my MIL keeps on saying her daughter you know what i like this dish from your home its very tasty. I don't have to pay attention.
My MIL doesn't do this comparing between us. She does say a few times but not much. But the only thing that irritates me is she starts it in front of guests or relatives. There she wouldn't just stop on her daughter but will also tell the greatness of her sister's DILs. They are so obidient, cook well, are so religious, wear saree always, have children and so on... I can't even say anything as it won't give a good impression of our family and she manages to portray me as bad woman in front of others. I don't care for the people i meet ones in months let them think whatever they want. The people who matter know me well as we meet in my MIL's absence and they understand the truth without me saying a word.
But what I enjoy is behind my back they are jealous how can I look more attractive even if she is more beautiful? about my clothes, ear rings, accessories :biglaugheverything. They always try to imitate me. And they go crazy when my SIL's DH praises me in front of her and tells her to learn from me.
I think thats enough.
Vaidehi

 

Its a known story for ages.. So why think big about it?!?! unnecessary tension only.

Of course my mil praises each and every possible stuff about my sil. But indeed my sil is a cool multitalented lady.So I dont feel anything annoying or upset about it. Of course mymil takes it a bit too high. But since my sis inlaw is abroad and we live in india - i think its all an outlet of how much she misses her daughter.

My mil doesnt forget to praise me whenever i do something nice.

Being Dils', many of us tend to get all ideas that put us to self pity as we are away from our paarents and rather miss out many good things that happen in the family.

So cheer up and enjoy life ladies!:thumbsup

 

OMG,
I can say n number of things about this...
Once I used to cry and complain to my husband about this - but kind of stopped thinking tat i've loads of better things to worry about :bowdown...
Here are the few funniest things tat wil happen to me in IL's house,
1. First and the worst thing is cooking - My SIL is about 6 yrs elder to me and she has been cooking for a long time and i was only 21 when i got married and I was only into experimental cooking - she always used to complain tat am not cooking good - I was not coz i had no experience...
2. Once she came to stay with me vn my hubby was away on a business trip - gosh this lady was over my head all the time - i've to leave home at 7 for work - i need to finish bfast and lunch for her b4 i leave and she will not be ok with anything less tat sambhar, rasam and a poriyal for lunch - and she'll complain for every bite - as i went to office, i called up my hubby and cried like hell - he came down in the next flight and sent his mom off tat day itself - she started singing to him too before boarding her bus and got nice replies from him :cheers...
3. My SIL never ever goes to her IL's house, but though these people keep nagging me all the time, i make it a point to visit them freq - but for them only their DD is good and they have brought her up in such a way she always respects elders and her IL's are talking ill about her...
4. When I went to their house after my DS was born, she used to complain tat i dont have enough milk and will force me to feed him cow's milk - I will give her a sharp reply and keep mum - this lady willa sk her daughter how can her milk be enough for the baby even after 5 months? This kind of puts me off everytime i think about it - her DD was giving her DD cow's milk from birth though she was BFing.
5. Though I got BE free Seat in a reputed instituite and he DD was just into BSc and MSc and into research now, she is the most intelligent creature of all... she used to say - all below avg ppl are also getting into s/w industry - :rantI used to feel like hitting her on her empty head....

Am not able to forget lots of things and it still shoots my BP vnever i think of it....
Need to learn to give them back appropriately...:bonk

 

hi friends include me also...

first when i get married she used tell abt my sil...she is a good cook,she has lot of interst on craft,she used to save money,lot of things....

after i went to her house and she stops saying that she is a good cook....bcoz i cooked better than her also my hobby is cooking...

i stayed nearly 10 days in her house about 4 days she did't sweep the house...that time she do't had servant also...

once she made sambar and potato ,she put what ever sauce i'm having in my house...the taste is horrible...mil is the only lady who like her cooking...

once my hus was not ill we both to hospital that day they both cooked the luch ...they dis sambar & ladies finger fry...with out chilli pd and salt.
we came & ate ...i did't say nothing....then they both eat then only she know they forgot the chilli pd...if i said anything about her cooking...she will create this a s a big issue....

now she is telling abt her way of managing her house...actually she is in a new house..just 1 yr back they built the house...we r in a 20 yrs old house...u can imagine na...also my mil things r in the house...sil had her things only...

if u r duff & dump then it is very easy to prase them....

 

my sil marriage is intercaste..my mil praises that too..she choose the right way..laugh1smiley(why she opt for arrange marriage for her son)...she keep on telling she care her inlaws and helping them very much...(true fact -3-4 servants are there in her house with inlaws and in weekdays she goes to office,their on business and all weekends she will be with her parents )...

 

Wow....all dil s r alike n all mil's r alike....n if nyone says mine is diff or good,either she is lying or is out of her mind.......girls lets be wat we want to. Be,not wat they want us to be!after all it's one life n we can't waste it for sm dumbstruck bimbo who wants to hv it all!

 

If she praises ur SIL, u start praising her SIL or co sister.

 

my mil says all good things about sil. that's a different story..my sils are quite elder to me. shez been married for 21 years now and she said this to me when relatives visited us to invite me on their son's marriage
two borthers came and one of them is in late 40's .I know him, his wife looks really gorgeous
my mil started saying aftr they left how that person is fond of getting married to my sil,my inlaws showed no intrest since they weren't so well off then and now they are doin financially so well..my sil is no less.. they are doing fine too..i told the same and I told her 'I saw his wife, how lucky he is ,,his wife beautiful..' he never showed sign of intrest and it doesn't look good to regret over marrying her to him aftr 21 yrs of marriage.

I dint know how I pulled out courage to tell this but felt like telling her

 

If you ask me, I would say NOTHING!

I am more sensitive to criticism than to praises. So, it would be good as she wouldn't be criticising any one. As for my MIL, she keeps praising her only grandson and it doesn't bother me as after all I wouldn't want her to talk about me. If I don't show receptiveness while she praises others I'd be faced with the unpleasant situation of being asked about my sexual life, why I am having no kids and what are my plans, what are my parents doing etc etc. So, it's best she keeps praising her own kin!

Btw, I don't have a sister-in-law but MIL keeps praising my Co-sis in front of me and a line or two of criticism in front of my DH. I guess it is her shrewd tactic!

Therefore OP, count your blessings if she doesn't criticise and keep your ears clogged if she praises your SIL and you don't like it. Don't investigate much, as some of the posters have mentioned how even these praises are vacant and manipulative. I know 'praising others' is sometimes veiled criticism of the listener and that is hurtful. So, if that indeed is the case, why don't you also start praising someone ?