Remembering Sunanda

I have been deeply distressed by the sudden and largely unexplained demise of Sunanda Pushkar. I have also been inspired by the way she lived her life.

Full of life, spontaneous, vivacious, high-spirited, with an infectious charm and a radiant presence, Sunanda was both the pride and envy of every social gathering. She had a natural flair and an inimitable sense of fashion that would send our film stars running for cover. I remember her in last year's IIFA celebrations when she walked the green carpet. She looked so happy and cheerful. When she escorted President Prathiba Patil around the UAE, it just added a royal flavor to her visit.

For a woman who made her money by being tenacious and had to hard-sell property in an extremely competitive market, and in the process had developed a strong persona, what must have transpired in the last few weeks leading to her mysterious death must be truly tragic. It would be improper for me to blame someone specifically for her demise, but I would like to list down the various tipping points that would have caused her to go into a depression and lose control of her mental balance and eventually her life.

1. The IPL fiasco - Everyone knows that Lalit Modi is not a saint. Nor are the owners of most of the teams. With so much money flowing in, there is bound to be an inherent murkiness in the entire business. There are 3 things that sell in India - Cricket, Movies and Religion. With the Kochi team and the Keralite diaspora in the Middle East, you would not find a better professional than her to get sponsors that relate to the team's origins and the target audience. Shashi Tharoor should have stayed away from such negotiations. She clearly lamented in one of her last interviews - "I took upon myself the crimes of this man during the IPL fiasco"

2. Public Indignation - A PM hopeful who has supposedly deserted his wife had the gall and impudence to put a price tag on something that he is incapable of valuing. Both the Modis took potshots at her. The political one was totally unwarranted. And the bashing continued unabashedly even after the controversy died down.

3. A vainglorious husband - Public adoration and high praise in the social circuit can cause a heady euphoria. And one look at Shashi Tharoor can tell you that he seems to be in a state of super-consciousness or levitating at all times. But, when you make the transition from being chivalrous to promiscuous, the moral debauchery of those who love you is almost always permanent, fatal and irreversible. Such hedonistic self-indulgence will simply destroy those around you.

4. The Social Media overdose - Our need to stay connected, endorsed, have an opinion and a fan following seems to have taken over all other needs. There is a very dangerous trend of people becoming a slave to the gadgets. I am led to believe that those who indulge in such a vicarious existence really do have a chip on their shoulders. TP Sreenivasan's article in Rediff called "Murder by Twitter" was a very bold one.

Sunanda was consistently abused by an unforgiving and inconsiderate political cauldron, cheated by a man for whom she sacrificed her flourishing career, hounded by an insensitive public, assassinated by a personifying media and probably even poisoned by an incompetent medical system. To see such a lively, cheerful and buoyant lady suffer such a tragic end, and with the police now making a mockery of the investigation is simply adding insult to injury.

There are a lot of lessons to learn from her life and a lot more from her death. Sunanda Pushkar - Rest in Peace.