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Tribute to my naricsstic mother

Discussion in 'Parents & Siblings' started by kiran1988, Jan 23, 2014.

  1. kiran1988

    kiran1988 Silver IL'ite

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    Dear ladies,
    This is my story which i try to define in a poem format.....

    Every time in love I sway,
    She mockingly pushed me away,
    When my words are too unkind,
    I feel the plight of her mind,
    Vividly she talks about magic,
    I see her struck in some tragic,
    All my life in her enclave,
    I wanted to be more than a slave,
    Such is the face of my mother,
    Of a child for whom she didn't bother,
    All my life I needed love,
    But got an iron hand in glove,
    I missed on those hug and kisses,
    Every child's sweet riches,
    Instead got a mother so narcissistic,
    With a mind programmed so systematic,
    She was so down with her emotions,
    Selling my feelings for auctions,
    Such is my life in sections,
    Empty of love and true perceptions,
    When the shoutings of her I could take no more,
    Will surely rebel one day, I swore,
    Conquest of my revenge took me to a land faraway,
    But never permitted me to forget her in any way,
    She was there in my shadows,
    Even could see her in the morning meadows,
    Such was the power this person held,
    On the life in which I dwelled,
    I called her everday,
    Never enough for her in any way,
    My mind told her pls go off,
    But meant,
    Hug me mommy until I die off,
    My wishes never came true,
    Prayers for her love out of the blue,
    One day I took a knife,
    Sharp as a cunning wife,
    Slit through my heart to see through,
    All the hatred and despise that out grew,
    But only as far as my vision could reach,
    Pure love for her was all that my heart could teach,
    Only if she could understand,
    Pure love was hand in hand,
    All the pain in my heart slided,
    The day when in the grave she resided,
    Now looking up in the sky,
    I still ask why why and WHY????
     
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  2. Sabi127

    Sabi127 Senior IL'ite

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    I feel for you Kiran. Beautiful and deep heartfelt poetry about a truly sad situation. I should know. I have a narc mom. I too escaped, went off to lkve far away..I am US and she is in India but she totally still resides in my mind all the time. I gave her so many chances so many new beginnings to start fresh. She always shattered my heart every single time, worse than the last.
     
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  3. kiran1988

    kiran1988 Silver IL'ite

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    dear sabi127,
    you are very true, the pain never washes away, just keeps on pushing u further into depression, how many chances we give the narc people land back from where they started, its just that we feel we had a mother but a narc in disguise, this makes the pain unbearable, i write and take out my pain but it comes coming back....how do u take out ur pain?
    love
    kiran
     
  4. Sabi127

    Sabi127 Senior IL'ite

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    Kiran, i talk about it a lot. After the last narc attack from her I was broken for a long time. If you want to read my post its with my old username Helpmeplease127. I invited her for my very high risk pregnncy to US and she nade a roya mess out of it. I have changed as a person after that. I can never go back to that happy place before i knew who and what my parents are. To learn that they will not ony never love me but also can harm my health, my life and sanity for their selfishness was a shock i dont wish on my worse enemy.
     
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  5. kiran1988

    kiran1988 Silver IL'ite

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    dear sabi127,
    just went through ur old posts, just didnt know how to react, i am moved so moved.. i felt happy that there are people like us and our stories are not something that happens to others,
    when i try to talk people behave as if i am a sinner saying bad about my mom, but nobody understands that we have been there and faced it...
    when i look back i realize that what emptiness i hold within...
    my mother even hasn't left my hubby aside even he was not spared of her anger and harsh words....
    my mom is on top of that obsessed with religion..
    dont know what more to say ... emotionally out of words
    love kiran
     
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  6. kiran1988

    kiran1988 Silver IL'ite

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    dear sabi127,
    thank u for sharing with me ur story, felt very related , i still remember the swearing on quran for every petty issue...the best part is getting stronger
    p.s sorry for long msg
    love
    kian
     
  7. Sabi127

    Sabi127 Senior IL'ite

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    Kiran i kmow dear. Its good to know we are not the only ones in this world with a mother like that. It hurts to see the role moms play in thier daughters lives after marriage, kids etc.
     
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  8. Vemala

    Vemala Gold IL'ite

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    The Best feeling in the world is to see that your mother is smiling even though you are troubling her.

    Mother is like Bank , where we deposit our hearts and worries..

    Finally, All mothers are Working Mothers............
     
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  9. katochsimi

    katochsimi Gold IL'ite

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    OMG...after reading this post i m in dilemma ..i felt very emotional and bad for both of you :-(
    but now i m so confussed...bcoz i have DD and i keep shouting on her for very small small reason ..of course i feel bad and regret later but at that time i go wild....and use very harsh words:spin
    omg i will stop that ...or else she will think for me like this....Witsend
     
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  10. kiran1988

    kiran1988 Silver IL'ite

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    Dear,
    Its not like thay that i started hating her just because she uses harsh words, there were many more reasons for my pain, yes she shouts everyday but there are many more qualities that make her a nariscisstic...dont feel confused just love,respect your daughter and give her the emotional and physical support in a way she desires...she will be grown up into a lovely lady...
    P.s. wish you the best luck with your daughter .... May u both love eachother unconditionally ...
    Love
    Kiran
     
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