I have a bad relationship with my co-sister

vasika · Oct 3, 2013

Hi
Iam staying with my husband far away from my home state.My husband is working and in a good position.Two of my children are working and elder one is working abroad.For the last 20 years I remained as a house wife only.I started working from my home recently and earning a small amount.We had financial problems earlier.we bought a house plot in our home state with the dowry of me and built a house by home loan. My brother-in-law was working abroad and his wife and children were staying with my mother-in-law.She treated her and children well,even found out a job for her to escape from the monotonous lonliness she is facing.When we are at the MIL's house during vaccations she treated us differently,not even bothered to give good food to our children.She never introduced me or our children to the guests coming in her house.My co-sister never shared any of her foreign things with me and gave my children old unwanted clothes.She kept a distance from me.These behaviour of theirs hurt me and I used to stay with my mother during vaccations,until we built a house of our own.
Now my brother-in-law came back from abroad.They built a big house and have an expensive car.Recently my co-sister is diagnosed of having blood cancer.They are spending a lot of money for her treatment.They are drained out and need financial help.Their children have not became self reliant.My husband is sympathetic towards them and says that we should help them at this time .I used to visit her.But when think of her cruel behaviour towards me I don't want to give her anything.What to do? should I help her or not?

asha_ram · Oct 3, 2013

Hi

Hi

There are some things that u cant avoid even if u dont like it. Ur hubby will be very eager 2 help them as it is his own brother's family. if u resist in helping them u & ur hubby might get arguments & misunderstanding. so let him help for once or twice with a reasonable amount...then slowly tell ur hubby that u also need to save for ur future and cant keep on giving money to his brother....handle this situation calmly or u might get bad reputation from ur hubby/ MIL..

kavithamadhan · Oct 3, 2013

U should forget the past and help is what i feel..it may be a chance for her to realise her mistakes done earlier...

jabeena · Oct 3, 2013

There is no revenge while facing death. You can think as a usual woman. It wont give any credit or happiness to your mind.
But if you try to support them, it will become a good deed. Even for your children, their mom will be a modal. You should do all these things to raise your self respect, not to get any credit from others.

Note: All these depends your financial condition. If not in a position to support, you can feel them your mental support.

pranatim · Oct 3, 2013

When someone in death bed you should forget everything. Dont think anything else. God is watching you remember this. When my grand mother was on her death bed she never asked to see my elder father. She pointed towards my mother. She wanted her to be on her side. She said she sees everything in her though whole life she use to like him. So my request for you is to forget the past and move forward. God is watching you.

Cutiesri · Oct 3, 2013

You should help her and don't think abt the past..if you are not helping and what is the difference between you and your co sis? So make her realise her past mistake.

gauridinesh · Oct 3, 2013

God is giving you a chance to make her repent for her misdeeds. Believe me, you will feel good after you have helped her..So dont think twice. Help her.

vasika · Oct 3, 2013

Thank you very much for your advices.I will help her and give her mental support to face the situation she is going through

mlsruthi · Oct 3, 2013

That is a very nice decision Vasika..Proud of you...

generic · Oct 3, 2013

IMO, Help her....But help only as much as your financial situation allows u to... After all, you have to think abt ur future as well...u don't know when u will face prob in future & require financial help and seeing the past nature of these ppl, think whether others would have pitched in & helped u if u were in this situation instead of ur co-sis? I know I sound mean, but sometimes v gotta think about our future as well...so my advice would be to give some minimum amt of financial help such that it does not cut into your life long savings, but instead make up for it by giving emotional support & help with other chores like preparing food etc...(Hope no one is offended by my reply).