Hi, I wanted to share this with somebody. But can't share it with the people I know. So I wanted to talk here. I have been married for 20 years now. I have 2 kids 19 and 12 yr old. Let me tell you about me. I am a house wife. I am an intravert I can't enjoy anything. Like going out for shopping, or picnic or meeting friends or going on vacation. I am sick of myself. I feel very sad thinking Why can't I enjoy like other people. I always have fear about everything. Think a lot about things. Get worried for everything. Every day I wish I could die runaway from all these worries. I can't make friends, I feel social phobia. I don't want to meet people. My comfort jone is sitting at home , watching, browsing net. Because I don't want to meet people and talk, I can't apply for a job. I don't feel comfortable around people, in crowds. My husband is very good. But I don't feel romantic towards him. I don't feel like I want to hug him. Whenever he want to get near to me(in bed) I say not today always. I would never say yes to him. He expects a lot from me (like getting ready wearing make-up, sexy dress, encourage him) But when I get into mood(usually weekly once), I enjoy it a lot. Sometimes I think this is the only thing I enjoy in life Why I keep saying No. The only time when I was close to him was when I realized that he was thinking of other woman. (My friend). I got possesive over him then. After that fear was over I again moved away from him. (saying no in the bed) But I want to cuddle him at least once a week so that he don't move away. I think if he is handsome , may be I will get romantic more often. (after this many years of marriage, shame of me. Obviously our's is arranged marriage, He keeps asking me what I liked in him. (He thinks he is handsome) Though I am beautiful I always felt inferior all of my life. Although 5 boys were after me in my college days to marry me. I feel very uncomfortable in that situation when he asks me why I decided to marry him. (He is o.k but very short 5ft. tall. sometimes when I see him from far I think how I married this guy.) My parents forced me to marry him saying their family is good. I had no choice. In spite of all this I know I am not good for him or anybody. I get to know me after the marriage only. I am very lazy to call people for dinner, meet people enjoy social life. He likes to invite people home but I never said yes. He likes to meet people. He want to go to parties, give parties. But because of me he never did. He likes me because whenever I give myself to him , I make him happy. He always says I am so beautiful and he is lucky to have me. But I couldn't say the same thing about him it feels so bad to lie to him. I feel that he is unlucky to marry me. Because I am quite opposite to him. I don't get desire usually unless he arouse me. I never go myself to him. Is it very bad of me? Am I being very mean to him? He won't say anything even I don't go for a job. I am always tensed and I do lot of mistakes, like keeping the car keys in the dickey and shutting it. I am afraid to go out for a job. That adds more tension to my life. By the way are there any at home jobs here is USA? I want to share this talk. Please tell me what to do. Thanks for reading.
Re: Why do I feel this way about my husband? And silly me thought that 20 years of marriage would bring forth entirely different kind of issues, rather than the teenage problems of 'not looking handsome enough' or 'having five guys chasing me' or 'having to wear sexy dresses'. :bonk
Hey, there is no reason to feel sorry/silly to post the thread. I would highly recommend you to meditate for a long time. Do some exercise and walking everyday. Change your attitude towards life - try to cook tasty dishes, go a parlor and get a hair cut. Do some facial and massages...join a gym..slowly start meeting people. Learn computer...or french or some new laguage...do volunteering...keep yourself occupied...keep yourself busy. World is soo big and I'm sure you like it when you go out...you just have to come out of the four walls (your home) and explore...world is waiting for you! Good luck Pattumom
Well the system doesn't show my last few posts though they are there. This disallows me to use IMs ... This is a perfect thread to add to my posts count. Mods, you can check and see why the posts under my name do not include the latest posts. You may not find even this post under my name. Bug? Thanks,. If you are here anyway, why not cheer up a little with a joke relavant to relationships Here's something someone forwarded me. --------------------------------------- This is why women should not take men shopping against their will. After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Walmart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - she loved to browse. Yesterday, my dear wife received the following letter from Walmart: Dear Mrs. Samsel: Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras. 1. June 15 - Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking. 2. July 2 - Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at five minute intervals. 3. July 7 - Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom. 4. July 19 - Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, "Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away." 5. August 4 - Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway. 6. August 14 - Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area. 7. August 15 - Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the Bedding Department. 8. August 23 - When a clerk asked if they could help him, he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" 9. September 4 - Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose. 10. September 10 - While handling guns in the Hunting Department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were. 11. October 3 - Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 12. October 6 - In the Automotive Department, he practiced his "Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels. 13. October 18 - Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "Pick me! Pick me! 14 October 21 - When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed, "Oh no! It's those voices again!" And last, but not least, 15. October 23 - Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!" Regards, Tom Richards Walmart Manager
Seriously, whats this thread about? @Steve, whatever you wrote above.....is this really true? I really had a hard time controlling my laugh as I was at work when i read your post.
I hope not This is forwarded to me as a joke. This one is hilarious! 10. September 10 - While handling guns in the Hunting Department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
This is what made me laugh out loud July 2 - Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at five minute intervals. LOL....if this was true, it would have definitely driven some people nuts figuring out what was going on
