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Advise me on My MLS's behaviour

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by subbum12, May 27, 2013.

  1. subbum12

    subbum12 Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi All,

    V both are working and my IL's are there with us to take care of our kids.

    My MIL talks to me nicely sometime but c won't talk a word sometime with no reason. Thats irrirates me a lot in one house especially in the morning.
    I am thinking like .. what i did and y she is not talking ? No peace of mind before going to work. Same case in the evening also.

    My husbands says 'Leave it' .. its fine but her behaviour irritates me a lot.

    How to set a mind? Please advise.

    Note : I'm not expecting her to talk to me but advise me to handle this.
     
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  2. coolgal123

    coolgal123 Platinum IL'ite

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    if you don't know the reason why she is not talking to you....then may be you can ask her...what is troubling her and why she is not talking to you....may be reason of not talking is not you but something else..
     
  3. sanjana86

    sanjana86 Bronze IL'ite

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    Maybe that is just her nature and personality. Maybe at times she's chirpy and other times she just prefers some quiet moment or is preoccupied with thoughts of her own. I'd chill, if I were you. This isn't something to lose sleep over. If you are absolutely sure that you did nothing to upset her, then don't be harsh on yourself. Give her her space, until she becomes her chirpy self again. And if you have a hunch that she might be upset with something you said or did (suppose after discussing a sensitive or controversial topic with her), then do ask her if that is the case.
     
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  4. iswaryadevi

    iswaryadevi Platinum IL'ite

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    I would advise you not to ask her why is she not talking, etc. Its just not worth it. If she quits talking to you for no reason, may be you were not the reason at all, or may be you were. Either way as long as she does not criticize you openly, I don't think you need to be bothered! Just concentrate on what you would be doing if you were alone, and totally ignore her. Once she comes back to normal mood, talk to her like nothing happened. I know its easier said than done, but sometimes we have no other option! :)
     
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  5. Namita2k13

    Namita2k13 Silver IL'ite

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    Not sure what are her reasons can be. If I tell from my MIL experience she has power to disturb me from other city also by showing her anger in small , stupid things which actually do not matter to normal people at all. but for her it insulted her, it caused her mrntal pressure. if she tells us what was the reason of her anger on us , you will feel "sheet, how silly these matters are!" SO I also loose peace of my mind due to these tantrums. Best we have to do is , ask her poilitely once, if she does not want to tell then leave her alone doing your job well.

    Few people want too much attention and they throw their tantrum on DIL(soft target) only.
     
  6. subbum12

    subbum12 Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi

    Thanks all for your quick response....
     
  7. sheel

    sheel Bronze IL'ite

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    It would be her nature..just ignore..
     
  8. Deepika24

    Deepika24 Bronze IL'ite

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    hi,
    Even my MIL 's nature is the same...... I used to think the she s not talking because of me.... Then later on i realised she might be upset for some other reasons.... I ignored it and i behaved normally...
    I would like to tell you just ignore dont think abt it.... Later on she will become normal ....... So dont worry you also behave normally ....
     
  9. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    Think of it this way. How much better for you that she shuts up rather than rants and raves about whatever it is that has offended her! My favourite way of dealing with such childishness is to act extra-normal. ;) Best icebreaker IMO is "Would you like some tea? I'm making some for myself." If she doesn't reply, pretend that she didn't hear and say louuuudly, "Mum! I asked if you'd like some tea." Usually, you'll get a response. If she still doesn't respond, just put her out of your mind and carry on as per usual. Then, if ever a complaint comes up about you, pretend you know nothing about the silence. In future you would prefer a POLITE, open discussion if things have to be changed round YOUR house.

    Love,
    G
     
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  10. subbum12

    subbum12 Bronze IL'ite

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    Even she is upset..... c ll talk normally to FIL,kids but not me.... dont know why........

    As all said i should just ignore.........
     

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