It happens only at In-laws's house

Re: It happenly only in ILs house

You know what circumstances make you strong what is the point of being educated when we cant stop people from hurting us?How are we applying our wits?courage is not taught anywhere it depends on your patience levels mine was overbrimming, yours will over brim soon!)

 

Re: It happenly only in ILs house

so true. I too see hear many people say boiling tea too much isn't good.

 

Re: It happenly only in ILs house

I am really thankful to this thread. This thread made me to open up of my bottled up frustration. I was torturing myself thinking of these that happened in past. Though i know nothing else other than lessons we learn it was tough to let it go..

Another one for my MIL... My MIL always consider anyone not related to her as her relative, but the poor ones who married her sons as outsiders. When I rejoined work after an year of my sabbatical she came with me to take care of my lo who was 3yrs that time. The day before my joining MIL told the driver who was my parent's driver that I should stay away from my DD as it would be tough for them to manage her. My FIL was complaining about my DH staying back here in US for money. :-( .. They very well know one of the reasons we ended up going onsite is their extravagant spending. There is a limit for everything. Will you ever go and discuss your in laws finance to a maid or driver. What will happen then?.. These people would have killed me with their taunts and would have made my life hell.. That driver even had the guts to come to me and say " neenga konjam paapa kitta irunthu thalli irunga" (stay way from your daughter pls..).. I never felt so angry before.. Who in their right mind will do this.. I decided the very next day to put my DD in a daycare. Found a good one near our home put my DD there.. MIL couldnt believe that... She cried complained put long face but i never budged. I think that was my last straw..

 

Re: It happenly only in ILs house

Had so much fun reading the thread. Im still ROTFL like crazy !!

Bubblygal, you really have an 'item' MIL. Kudos to you for dealing it with so much sarcasam.

G3, Im going nuts thinking about the passport code incident. Too funny !!

Reading the whole thread like a novel, I could manage only half way through.

 

Re: It happenly only in ILs house

This (bold and red) is the attitude I wanted to see in you bubbly. Happy for you.:thumbsup

 

Re: It happenly only in ILs house

Hi Bubblygal

Of all your posts I like this best.Unlike most women who use their skills to come out of marriage, you see to that you stick to the relationship while not losing self esteem. You would get waht you deserve. Kudos

 

Re: It happenly only in ILs house

Interesting mils .

Complaining about mil, not dh? I yell at my husband, have to be tactful with mil. We cannot hug or kiss and makeup with mil, right?! Until that tactful resolution comes about, anger festers and complaining happens.

I was on mat leave when ils were here last. My turf and my mil is really good with organizing. I wanted to purge a lot. Mil is a big time purger. Before she came, I told her that I needed her help getting things past her son on the sly. She was only too happy to help as she does the same thing at home. She hates clutter. So whenever she's here, I do some organizing. She's happy, I am happy. As for the irritants, she is mostly reasonable. She doesn't even realize it when she's being unreasonable. She isn't doing it to irritate me. It is just her nature. My husband is a mommy boy, which he freely admits to, and he very carefully thinks out how to tell his mom that she is wrong when she is.

I am not expected to cook at her place. Perhaps because the first time I was there, it was after my wedding and hubby and i couldnt stop coughing; next, sil's wedding and I was busy with sil. Third time,busy with daughter. My sil had also just had a baby, so we were all just tired out. I don't know if anyone noticed who did what. I don't remember! The next time,fingers crossed that all will go well with this pg too, I'll see her with another baby in tow. She wants me to bring the baby and toddler to India so that she can help out easier. We are considering it. She firmly believes that for 6 mo postpartum, a woman should not over exert herself. Doesn't prevent a few barbs here and there or more, but my husband gets the verbal lashing for all of it. She knows that quite well as her daughter does the same. She chooses not to know for her peace of mind . Also, she tells me to please yell at her son in our bedroom, if I want to, so that she doesn't have to hear it and feel bad, lol.

EDIT. I wasn't on mat leave but was working only one or two days a week.

 

Re: It happenly only in ILs house

Hi Sudha, I have to stay 6 months from june...Thinking of this i'm having heart attack and BP....U staying a year or two....I am feeling sorry for u....:drowning

 

Re: It happenly only in ILs house

To the one who compared cooking and communication skills. It isn't the same thing. One is a skill, the other is a personality type. People can learn to communicate but it isn't easy. It isn't too much, a matter of will power either.

That said, my husband isn't very communicative either. Is it a man problem? Our society just doesn't encourage men to be expressive. Crying is a form of expression and a boy's crying is frowned upon. If one has to suppress one emotion, unless one is really good, one has to suppress all expression related to emotions. Outside, there are no emotions involved, at least for men, I think. Maybe that is why they express better outside? This is just my wondering. On a good day. My husband cleaned the living room this morning, so I am feeling a little more sympathetic towards him ;-).