Why this fuss about calling?

I understand... just 2 weeks ago I faced the same situation when I got caught up in something and left out on calling my MIL.. No SILs for me, but a co-sis and she's just as bad as your SIL, swetha.. She has never called me for anything but she calls my husband once in a while.. Oh, before I forget, she once called me to give me a shopping list for the things she wanted tht we could get here but she wouldnt get there (village) she never bothered with me after tht.. Forever complains tht we didn't do something or other...

 

A guy gets married to the girl, but a girl gets married to the whole family !!! :coffee sad truth of indian marriages !

 

Not necessarily.. I make sure DH calls my dad or BIL once in a while.. Not very often.. Once a month or so is ideal for men.. And maybe a bit more often when there is some illness in the family or something, I tell him to just enquire..

My little niece calls me almost very night before sleeping, she will ask for her uncle to say good night and ask if he ate and simple questions 2 yr old asks.. It's a light moment for both of us and it keeps him positive in keeping the family intact.. So thts works for me too..

 

Set expectations from the beginning. If u call often and suddenly stop, it will cause problems. It's better to call once in a while...so that the expectations are not there.

 

Exactly my point Minara. Men have to be told and reminded to talk to our parents. And then that happens once a month or once in a couple of months or maybe if and when they need some help. But never in general is it expected that they'll also call our parents and talk to them on a regular basis, without being reminded to.

Compare that with the expectation to be met by the DILS. Everyday, every alternate day, once a week.

 

I do agree with what you're saying.. But then again, women are more talkative than men or whatever.. and yes, expectations are there too.. I talk to my own parents and sister on a daily basis.. so i dont find it exceeding expectations to call my MIL twice a week.. whereas how often do the men call their homes? once in 1 or 2 weeks where hubby is concerned.. and nowadays i call my MIL whenever hubby is home just so MIL can talk to hubby when I'm done.. He's her son and she wants to talk to him.. I'm not going to stand in the way.. I will help them if it means that my MIL will behave with me.. Doing this keeps both me and my MIL happy... and DH is happy that the two women in his life are getting along well.. All's well that ends well, see?

 

idle minds-keep track of EVERYTHING
idle minds-love wallowing in a festering pool of self pity and darkness
idle minds-need more drama and stimulation than the daily saas-bahu tv soaps
idle minds-try to overcompensate for their insecurities by bullying the nearest at hand
idle minds-simply have too much pent up energy
idle minds- have astonishingly good memory power- unlimited inbox for negativity
am sure you aren't idle at all. you might have lots to do. just humor them and move on.

 

Same thing happens here. Whether we are outstation for hubby's work or I am in my parents house..... It's me who has to call. She will never make a call. If I am unable to call for some reason, next day it is "we had a daughter in law who means a lot to us. She has gone to her house for some days and forgotten us. Have u seen her lately???" Even though the way she says it is hilarious, it's the meaning hidden behind - unnecessary self importance.

 

Ha ha... That was awesome I wish I could write it down and stick it on my MIL's phone set :rotfl