how did you stop verbal abuse

Nip it in the bud.

 

If the person who abuses has some person whom he respects a lot,maybe telling that person advise him would be an option,but the risk being that the abuser would get more angry for damaging his reputation...

 

Retaliating to the verbal abuse will not stop the person from abusing. It would make the situation even worse. So here is my take.

1. Identify the circumstances when the abuse happens and avoid them. A simple sorry can make a lot of difference in marriage.

2. Be good to him and then have a open conversation with him when he is in a state to listen to you. Tell him that you are really getting hurt by the verbal abuse and it's restraining the relationship.

3. You know who you are. So, Ignore the abuse totally. Don't take it too personally. It's not worth the pain.

I like below quote much.

Four things that are very important to life. GIVE, GET, FORGIVE and FORGET.

Give love and respect. Remember love is the cure for all marital issues. You will surely get them back. Forgive and forget the issues raised out of him.

Marriage is not a smooth sail for many of us these days. Try out these. Good luck.

 

This is exactly what is wrong. Victim is not the cause for the abuse.Its not ur fault ...thats what most abusers want u to think.

Abuse in any form can be very traumatic and leaves scars both visible and otherwise. Verbal abuse is the hardest to identify and prove because there are no physical bruises .........but its just as bad and has long term effects on ones self-esteem . Don't ignore. Seek help.

 

This is so true because eventually you are gonna start hating yourself and think its ur fault .Its will make u depressed and unhappy.In a relationship you need to feel loved, cared , respected , appreciated and know that the other person is gonna be there no matter what.There should not be any yelling, screaming, shouting , calling names and putting u down.

 

And last of all your not responsible for how they behave and act out... Even when they say " u made me do this"..... No you did not....

 

Verbal abuse is the starting point to physical Abuse. Just be LoUD as LOUD as You Can be. (LOUD in the sense not with high pitch but with very strong attitude say No to Verbal Abuse). Tell them the consequences if they do it again.

 

JAG,

I believe it takes two to tango. All i say is, identify the root cause for his abusive behavior and avoid any confrontations that lead to that situation. I neither say the victim is the cause for the abuse nor her husband. Miscommunication and misinterpretation lead to differences. Couples should learn to agree to disagree and learn to discuss differences in adult manner. Unless otherwise the OP's husband is sadist, there is no reason for verbal abuse.

I agree that verbal abuse leaves long lasting internal scars. My take is, don't be too sensitive. When the abusive statement is ignored, it looses it's value and would not be used again.

Of course i'm not saying not to seek parents or medical help. If you are unable to cope with, seek help.

 

I agree with you 100%. When it comes to marital/relationship issues, to solve the issues the rule of thumb is..

1. You be the change you want to see in your spouse. Treat him/her the way you like to be treated.
2. Whether it's guy or gal, throw out your ego. Ego should take back seat and only love can cure the wounds.

My school of thought is not "standing up" and having continuous fights. It should be give and take and push and pull policy. Love and forgiveness with time will heal the wounds. Whether it's guy or gal, forgive your spouse's mistakes. Because of his/her shortcomings only, you are his/her spouse. Otherwise, he/she would have got better spouse.