Cooking hassle

ignore, you have 2 ears - use them. anyway, does it matter what anyone thinks of you? you are only losing your peace of mind. you lose, they win.

remembering that they are jealous of you will put a smile on your face and confuse them. keep them guessing

 

Oh yes I have been there,infact when I was newly married I didnt know the ABC of cooking and for long hours I had to stand in the kitchen next to my mil passing her spoons,vessels,chopping up onions,wiping up my sweat,shifting my weight from one leg to the other,standing,standing...
This is very common thing that mils do (most of them) Kitchen is their area and they are the boss and they show off.
:rant
There is no point in picking a fight with mil for this reason.You will come off as the bad guy if you fight with her for this.People will say you are jealous and dont show any respect and ultimately you will be more miserable than you are now.

1) Let her cook grand dishes,she is here for a few months,let her show off,she will get tired eventually.Learn to not get upset by this.Vent here how much ever you want.scream into a pillow :thumbsup

2) When she criticises your cooking,smilingly say "you have so much experience,maybe one day I will be a good cook like you" Say it even though you know you are a good cook.She will fail in making you jealous and stop criticising you or using hurtful words.

3) if you want to and have the time,learn those dishes.No harm.You can cook them later when mil is not around and impress your hubby.I know right now you dont want to impress him,but you never know when it might come useful.
Maybe next time she comes you can say I know how to make this dish,I make it often.In case you have to goto their village sometime,it might come useful.So learn it.

After getting annoyed at my husband initially,I accepted that I cant change his liking for his mom's food,so I learnt her cooking.So now i cook her food,I cook my family food,I cook other cuisines too.Who is better now?:cheers

 

I can see why you are hurt dear and I would be too. Its your choice weather you want to just be hurt & frustated by all this or IGNORE!!! Try the later and see if that helps you. They are here for a limited time so just put up with that. If mil cooks a lunch and invites neighbours let her clean up after herself.
You are a good cook so just few comments from in-laws won't change that image. And you husband is just being quite about it to maintain peace ( frm mom) and out of respect. If he is enjoying his mom's cooking let him

Remember in every house mil is trying to prove her expertise in cooking (with year of experience) when dil comes.And we dil's are trying to make our own mark & space in our husband's heart & all other members. I have yet to see a gracious mil who will help dil in that rather then teaching her , her way!!!!
Chin up girl, don't let them spoil your mood.

 

agree with posts above. When you are surrounded by your in-laws, you are better off cooking what MIL makes.:hide: More you try to cook different way, you will find yourself lonely. Try asking your MIL when you cook something. For example, I am making this XYZ. I am gonna add these XYZ ingredients. Do you add anything else when you make this dish. The other men in your home will observe this behaviour of yours. This will raise your image in front of men in your home. Odds are when you cook something after multiple occasions like this.. your in-laws will be more open to try your food. (this is what working for me:bonk) and when your MIL say something bad about you (your food), you will find your hubby's brother helping you out lol :bonk

 

Hi,
I know its very difficult to get named as a bad cook ,when you really are a good one.Its not that they don't know you are a good cook,its just that they want to tease you and irritate you.And finally they win on that.Because you are upset now.Most of the inlaws are like that.Let your MIL cook for the whole family.You cook separately for your kids and yourself.If your husband likes those dishes learn it from her(learning is always a good thing) and cook for him.As far as the apartment friends are concerned you can always host another party on a special occasion and prove yourself(Another thing is apartment friends who are jealous of you really won't appreciate your cooking and also why you have to prove them that you are a good cook?)Enjoy your life..Don't get tensed..
Divya

 

OP

I understand what you mean.... been there, faced that. My husband and I belong to the same community, but we hail from different towns. My in-laws are from Kerala, though my husband was born and brought up in Chennai. He has grown up eating his mom's cooking... so that is what he likes.. He left home when he was 17 to study, after which his culinary education started and he was introduced to other food. My mom-in-law prefers rice, while he prefers roti. She still cant understand that her son's tastes have changed so much. When they were in UK for the first time, we had a tough time. I was not used to eating rice 7 days of the week.. (My mom would make rotis a lot even when we were growing up..). She thought I had changed her son's way of eating. We used to have a lot of arguements. We were once discussing favourite items, and that's when I realised that my husband was missing out on some of his favourites.. I learnt some of them. I also introduced my in-laws to some of their son's new favourites. This helped... Now my mom-in-law does not complain as she used to.. (Food is still a sore point for us, as I am not yet 'completely converted' to their cooking...).

OP, My only suggestion to you would be to be more open!! They are visiting for a few months.. slight, very slight adjustments will make life easier for you and your husband. For all you know, your husband might have had a nagging feeling that you dont do traditional dishes... Handle this with care.. and come up trumps :thumbsup

Mythili

 

Dear Google,

Have always been there in your situation. In my case, my husband has never been to any other city other than chennai and i am a complete opposite.. i have never stayed in a place for more than 3 years. went to a hostel and all roommates were north Indian.. so pretty much loved and learnt to cook north indian. Now when i try something in south indian(after marriage) it isn't like the conventional south indian dish but definitely tastes like one. MIL loves to belittle me in front of all family.. Once in my back had been bad mouthing about me since i had brought 5 tarla dalal cookery books during my visit to india..and made no initiative to learn south indian.. she has poisoned DH's mind so much so that even he thinks i dont cook well.. now that we are away and not in India(Hong Kong) we hardly get anything vegetarian here. DH has realized that i do cook well but my forte is north indian and not south indian..
My MIL keeps calling him and telling him to make me learn to cook. and recently for the first time ever in the history of my life.. DH supported me saying my MIL had no idea how well i cook and that she should stop spreading such comments about me.. guess what i made delicious vetha kozhambu and parupu usli for him that day:banana
My advice, MIL are still in this world for the sole purpose of criticizing the DILs. Never let them win by feeling bad for what they say... go deaf ears and that will burn them from inside..:twisted:

 

I hear you, girl. It must be frustrating. Just hang in there. When are they going back? Do minimal cooking while they are here. Let her do the cooking. Wonder what is the purpose of their visit- advertising her culinary skills?

 

when my marriage happen, I live in my mother in law house for 3 months before I come to USA. I dont know very much cooking but my mother in law help me so much. I learn so many things from her but my husband does not like what I cook. He says my cooking is bad. I ask my mother and mother in law and make like what they say, but my husband want me to cook some new thing I dont know.
You have problem with satisfy you mother in law, I have problem satisfy my husband.