Wife unhappy

Since OP said she might have some good traits as well, it is hard to say that the husband is looking for separation or solution. Calling 911 as some people advised might be a suggested by the OP to his cousin. In my opinion, she need help and support. It would be best that she gets some counselling. She also needs to keep busy. For that the best thing to do would be to enrol in some courses. As she doesn't speak good english, the best would be to take english classes.

As for double standards about calling 911, a man is physically stronger than a woman and it is not very difficult for a man to save himself from any serious harm if a woman attacks him. Anyways, violence of any kind is unacceptable. I hope counselling and psychological treatment can take care of her violent behaviour.
As OP mentioned, she had problems before getting married as well. She needs treatment which is overdue.
To help her or to opt for separation is completely the husband's decision.

 

This marriage is totally a mismatch : one who is very outgoing and other who is self contrained.
both parties have to change equally .Alittle her and even ur cousin

I think she is more unhappy from bordem and lonliness than being married in middle class.In case she doesnt cook food and does nothing in house then she is a pampered kid otherwise she has adjusted .
Does she does any work of house or not ??? please mention tht
SOLUTION :
its very important for her to work and have a life of her own in term
s of friends and collegues.
2 options
1) She starts some masters and makes a career
2) ur cousin should introduce her to some housewives like her and make her frds with it will give her company .(I dont think so all colleages of ur cousin will dont have working wives.
3)Temper problem is temperary ... she is just not able to adjust so sitting all day @home has made her frustated
4) For somtime she should go back to india and then think for herself whts good for both . Visiting parents often shuld not be a problem for her since u mention she came from rich family and so is education .
5) there would be something on earth she likes like painting, belly dancing , music , jewellery designing being no money constraint she can join any hobby classes like them
6) There is so much to do in life than just waiting for hubby , make her understand this .if she comes from a business background there her father too wouldnt get time for her mother ...

 

Bad match. I think the couple should divorce before its too late. Before doing that,the husband should discuss with the wife's parents. I say this again and again that when there is an arranged marriage on the cards,the couple should discuss their future together and see it like a mirror. I think its pointless trying to make it work as in this process,time will pass and it will be too late. I believe it will not work,because it is not a small behaviour that can be worked upon..it is the inherent nature,lifestyle and the whole existence of the person. She is not used to a job too,she just wants a pampered life. Nothing wrong with the OP explaining things. If it was a wife complaining,I would still say the same.
The only issue,as you already know is the girl's remarriage. Discuss this with her parents. He should tell her parents clearly, that he is willing to live with her,but this lifestyle is not acceptable to the girl.

 

Monita:
Men are injured all the time but even in western societies there is a social stigma about reporting. You are wrong that a woman cannot damage a man....and what man should have to be on guard in their own home against their own wife? And a decently raised man will not use force against a woman so he ends up taking a beating out of ethics. I have seen this with an Indian friend whose wife beats him secretly and although he is very very hurt by this he feels its his fate. Everyone including his traditional parents have begged him to leave.

Yes, she need therapy but just leading the horse to water does not mean the horse will drink. And how many years is this guy supposed to wait before she gets fixed? 5? 10? 15?

 

Getting married to a guy based in US is a dream come true to most girls in India, but once there they miss the bonhomie of family and friends!
A girl's life changes drastically after marriage like in the OP's friend's DW case.She could be having lots of college friends going for shopping, movies etc daily and after marriage she is like another housewife, waiting for hubby the entire day. She can take some courses to keep herself busy it takes time to adapt to a new type of life.
She could have similar problems even in India as marriage is very different from college life. It would definitely help if she was given a few pointers by any elderly lady of her own family about rights and duties of a wife and mother.
By now even her friends must have moved on to different places, jobs . She needs a reality check unless there is something/someone else she is missing .
She needs a good dose of plain talking from her Mom who will be knowing all about dear DD's pre-marital life.

 

Nope no issues...I know sometimes its really difficult to pinpoint where is the problem and what is the problem, unless the other person vocalises it and gets it addressed....if she is abusive, I guess he should not take a step back...atleast ask him to get some pics of the scars or marks so that he has evidence....however remember that whatever he is dealing with, he has to deal with her andher parents softly...so that when they go to India, things dont go to extreme and spoil to the worst and they file 498A case....becareful about that...

Let him go to India, have a vacation and meanwhile he can share all thsi info with any of her siblings if there are any...if not...invite over your inlaws and some mediators or relatives and talk about all the happenings...that way everyone wil be present and any wrong accusations can be handled....even if he wants to fix this marriage an dmake it work, its better to disclose all this to her parents infront of some mediators rather than handling them directly...as they may twist n minse words..and may utilise it as per how they want.

Bottomline, he has to figure out whether she is really interested in this marriage or whether she wants to stay back in India.....he has to ask her this infront of his parents and her parents and the mediators...and if sh eagrees to come back, insist on marital counselling and anytime she throws things and physical abuse, she is going to be put on a return flight ..with no questions asked..thats how he has to get the agreement.


hope things work out for him.....I still do beleive there is hope...except that this girl is not abl eto understand how to communicate or handle her feelings/anger....some people dont....there are such men and women....but if these people acknowledge it and are ready to act on it, then better to work on fixing it rather than letting them go and face divorce. it surely will take time....but no harm in trying if she is really interested to be married to him.