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The Sperm Donor! - Those With Weak Hearts Stay Back

Discussion in 'Saturdays with Varalotti' started by varalotti, Sep 1, 2006.

  1. varalotti

    varalotti IL Hall of Fame

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    Thanks Meena!

    Hello Meena,
    I can now lift my collars in justifiable pride. For as an ILite said to write a full story on a sex-related issue in an all-women site and to get appreciated by them, well, I am really happy and proud. And as you and all others pointed out, though sexual activity is discussed in the story, the real issue is chauvinism which my heroine exposes beautifully.
    thanks meena,
    sridhar
     
  2. varalotti

    varalotti IL Hall of Fame

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    Thanks For The Critical Appreciation, Chitra

    Dear Chitra,
    Thanks for the words of critical praise. Yes, I did have to craft the third paragraph of the story with extraordinary care. (Anything connected with women is "extraordinary" isn't it? Is that a "tough task" to understand?)

    How can a woman accept to sleep for the only reason of "propogation of species"?
    I have answered this question in the story itself. Not just software engineers or womens lib activists, but a woman from history, from Mahabharatha did that. When Vichitraveeryan died without fathering a child his two wives were asked to sleep with Veda Vyasa for begetting an heir.
    And Mahabharatha says the women did not like that - not because they loved their husband and could not think of any other man in his place - but because they, like my heroine Anita, did not like the man chosen to sleep with them. The first wife could not bear to see a bearded Rishi in her bed. So she closes her eyes and remains so for the whole of the night. And so she gets a blind son who is Dhridurasthra. The second wife was advised not to close her eyes. Seeing the rustic sage in close quarters she becomes so pale that her son is born with albinism. That son is Pandu the father of Pandavas. Vyasa is called for a third time to sleep with the queens. This time both the queens were not ready. So they send their maid to sleep with the sage. This maid knows the real worth of the great sage Vyasa. And so she gives herself willingly to him. And she begets a son who is without any defects and is a sage himself. That son is Vidhura.
    Honestly it was this Mahabaratha story that prompted me to write the above story.
    sridhar
     
  3. varalotti

    varalotti IL Hall of Fame

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    Well Said, Meenu!

    Dear Meenu,

    Well said. In fact I quoted your words while replying to another ILite in the same thread.

    And your agreeing with our friend "I do agree with our friend who wrote that children born out of a physical relationship where emotion is not involved may not be good citizens." spurs some thinking on this delicate subject.

    Let us shed all our inhibitions and look into the problem. Please tell me in what percentage of marriages is there an emotional integration between the spouses? OK, let me make a statement. In a majority of the marriages there is only physical relationship. But still good citizens are born.

    If we approach the problem in another angle, it is impossible to have a sexual relationshiop without some kind of an emotional involvement. Only when sex is forced upon a woman, only when she detests the person with whom she has sex (please see my response to Chitra when I quote Mahabaratha) is there a risk of some serious defects in the children.

    Take the case of IVF. Take your own friends case. Though the sperm and the eggs belong to the biological parents, would there be any emotional involvement when they gave them? It would be like taking a blood specimen for testing.

    I don't think emotional involvement has any role to play. Many women love somebody and marry somebody else. Yet they beget good children.
    Unless there is an emotional disturbance in women (or in men) and that too only when it is of a very serious nature, is there a likelihood of the child being affected.

    I just want to present my views on this and am eager to listen to yours. I am grateful for your distinct words of appreciation.
    regards,
    sridhar
     
  4. Varloo

    Varloo Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Sridhar,
    Life is stranger than fiction, isn't it? Just because we have not heard about such things, we cannot say that they happen. I read a story in Eve's Weekly, now it is not being published. In that, a woman takes her cousin to a sanyasi. The reason, the woman is called barren. This elder woman says that she too got a child by staying with the sanyasi overnight once. The story ends with the women coming back the next morning happily.
    I think we have all the latest developments in Mahabharatha itself, artificial insemnation, surrogate mothering/fathering, cloning (Ganesha is made from Parvathi only without the help of male and Murugan from Shiva) and so on. So we should not be shocked at such things in this present world.
    But I too expected the wife to say that she was just making the hubby realise his mistkae by making him jealouse.
    This could happen or may be happening already. We never know. We hear of some groups of people in the North India where all the dils have physical relations with their bils.
    And in Manmadha Leelai, KB has portrayed such a relationship, where the woman herself detaches herself from her paramour once she is pregnant.
    Hats off, for starting a new line of thinking.
    Personally, I would prefer adopting a child. There is no quarantee that the child of a genius will be a genius. Mostly it is happens that the child of very bright parents turn out to be good for nothing and vice versa.
    With warm wishes,
     
  5. varalotti

    varalotti IL Hall of Fame

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    Nice to Hear Those Words, Anjana!

    Dear Anjana,
    The story when it was originally written did not have that twist. I then added it as an afterthought.
    Being in this profession and having this passion for writing, I have had the privilege of moving both in the field of technology as well as in that of human behaviour. The technology, especially information technology and medical technology, might have advanced in the last few years. But it takes more than a few centuries for the advancement of the mindsets of people. In fact thanks to the backward mindsets of the people we are not able to to reap the full advantages of our scientific progress.
    And thanks for joining the others in giving this thread the "No Vulgarity Certificate" which means a lot to me.
    regards,
    sridhar
     
  6. varalotti

    varalotti IL Hall of Fame

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    Well Said, Varloo!

    Dear Varloo,
    Well-said. Yes, life is far stranger than fiction. In fact if we writers were to write the real life happenings no magazine would publish that. Many times in the past I had to tone down the reality to make it acceptable to the editors.
    As you rightly guessed I originally had that kind of a story line - Anitha would say that she proposed that only to make her husband realise the folly of his suggestion. Then I thought if a man is ready to let his wife sleep with a person of his choice, why not that woman pick up a man of her choice. And then I changed the story.
    Yes, adoption is the right choice. But many parents feel that adoption involves a huge risk. Now the latest consensus among scientists is that a majority of a child's traits is determined by its lineage.
    My next street neighbours adopted a child as they did not have a child even after 6 years of marriage. After spending three years with the child, they then decided that the child was not good enough. The child, of course, was very difficult. Very demanding, always crying etc. Those people then decided to return the child to the orphanage. And now they have decided to remain childless for the rest of their lives.
    You see, life is always stranger than fiction.
    regards,
    sridhar
     
  7. Sharada

    Sharada Senior IL'ite

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    tricky situation

    A contemporary and readable story - am wondering why it was rejected by mag editors. It's not crude and vulgar, in fact it makes one think deeply about morality and what is right and wrong. Sleeping with virile men has been happening down the ages (even with sages!) - so there's nothing shocking with Raj's suggestion. Women bond emotionally, that's why Raj felt that Anitha still carried a torch for her cousin.
    Like Varalooti pointed out, all this must be happening under our noses, but we are stuck in our own lives and routines, so we miss the signs!
    Sharada
     
  8. varalotti

    varalotti IL Hall of Fame

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    Thanks, Sharada!

    Dear Sharada,

    Once I sent a dozen of my rejected stories to my friend. And the friend said "your rejected stories are better than your accepted ones."

    I told the friend, it speaks not about my quality but about the editors' quality.

    You will be surprised that one hospital ( a big name) is practising the fertility rites ceremony.

    The ceremony happens in an ancient temple at the outskirts of our town on the appointed days. Childless women are asked to come there for a special puja. And then are taken by virile men. Unofficial sources say that the success rate is about 70% and it is happening at a fraction of the total cost for IVF procedures.

    People who can afford IVF and other complex procedures may find this abhorring. But to those who do not have any other altertnative this is almost a divine gift.
    Your observation about women bonding emotionally is only 200% right.
    regards,
    sridhar
     
  9. varalotti

    varalotti IL Hall of Fame

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    I am Going to come Twice a week!

    Most Gracious ILites,
    thanks to your request I will be with you two days in a week. A new thread, Wednesdays with Varalotti, has been launched today. And I have posted the first topic for discussion.
    Waiting for your participation,
    Varalotti
     
  10. Vidya24

    Vidya24 Gold IL'ite

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    Pon kidaichalum Budhan kidaikathu

    Dear Sridhar,

    One can never have too much of a good thing-great to know that we will read you twice a week. A quick word. This story was hard hitting. I am constrained for time, so for once will make my post short. It is effective, compelling and so true. Nothing vulgar about it, just eye opening.
     

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