Amma endraal ambu... (Mother means arrow)

Dear All,
Greetings!

This could be my last MIL vs DIL story for some time to come - as DW has ‘strongly’ suggested my not writing on this topic any further.

I am not linking this suggestion in any manner to the impending visit of our new DIL from US, for a short stay with us. Only a wicked imagination could make one think that DW may be worried that DIL would get ideas from my stories. I am not that wicked.
As you all know by now, I am a pure & gentle husband who never questions DW’s ‘suggestions’.

Let me record my gratefulness to DW for having permitted me to post this story that was half way in the making when the ‘suggestion’ struck her.

Anbudan,
RRG

Amma endraal ambu... (Mother means arrow)


“Kamu, indha mamiyaar thollai thaangaladi. (Unable to bear the MIL problem anymore.) She looks so nice from outside but full of venom inside. Even a snake would die if it bites her. These people could better be called ‘Mother out-law’s (MOL). Where as look at Hari, my DH. Such a goodamn dud. ‘Sonnaalum Puriyadhu; Thanakkagavum theriyaadhu’. (Neither would he listen to me nor does he know by himself). I am surprised how he was born as son to such a cunning woman. He totally believes her and brushes aside my complaints. I don’t know where to go and hit my head against?” Prema started off her MIL puranam. “Look, the other day, I was singing to myself “Amma endral anbu ...... (Mother means love). This cunning woman twisted it and complained to DH that I was singing “Amma endral ambu..” (mother means arrow), just to taunt her”. I was compelled to retort that even if that was so, it was though apt but very mild. Left to me I would have sung not just ‘ambu’ but a ‘visha ambu’ (poisonous arrow). All hells broke loose. Normally when we fight, DH intervenes and separates us. But this time, he ran away to the club. Both of didn’t know what to do? We were getting exhausted. How to end the fight??? Finally, we both ended up cursing DH in strong terms – I his upbringing and MIL his recent changes after marriage.”

“Inga mattum enna vazharathaam (What different is it here?),” Kamu murmured,”veetukku veedu vasalpadi (Every house has its doorsteps)”.

“But your vasalpadi is stone deaf, isn’t it? Mine keeps overhearing whatever I talk to DH anywhere in the house. There is no privacy whatsoever, even in our bedroom.”

“Deaf? doorsteps?? You mean MIL? OMG! Keep your voice low. She may be deaf when you talk mundane things. But, when it is of some interest to her, even a snake* would come and seek clarifications from her”. (*auditory sensitivity range of snakes is believed to be very high from olden times leading to the phrase – ‘pambu sevi’ – snake’s ears - referring to those who could hear even very low decibels).

“Be that as it may, at least your DH...”

“What do you mean? Ravi? Non-sense. These men differ only in the dress that they wear. Remove it and inside all are one and the same. Lollipop kids, running after mom – holding on to her pallu (saree border). Why at all do they get married, I do not know?”

“Is there no salvation from these MOLs then?” Prema demanded.

“Look dear. I have heard about one old saint staying in the Murugan temple in Valavanur Hills, some 100 miles from here. His predictions are supposed to be very accurate and his blessings working wonders. Ravi doesn’t believe in such things and calls these saints as ‘humbug samiars’. If you could convince Hari to take you there, perhaps you could get some salvation. Who knows? I could use your precedent and convince Ravi also to follow suit”.
Prema nodded and left after their usual ‘vambu’ & kisu kisu’ sessions.

When Prema visited them a month later, she looked in high spirits. Kamu was surprised at the change in her attitude and was dying to know the reason. She thanked Kamu profusely for her suggestion to meet the Samiyaar and related her interaction with him, in detail.

In her own words:
“OMG! This man looked so pure; such a ‘tejas’ in his face, I couldn’t look at his eyes straight. It was as if I was in a trance. There was a decent crowd. The saint doesn’t speak but communicates only by writing on a plain paper, the answers to our queries. We are to take it to his Pratam Shishya (PS) outside for any explanations, if need be.

When my turn came, I didn’t know how to start off the MIL angle, with Hari also around.
So I started with saying, “ We have no Santhi (peaceful atmosphere) at home....”.

Immediately the saint scribbled:

சாந்தி என்பதும் மனநிலைதான்;
சலனம் என்பதும் மனநிலைதான்;
சாந்தி இன்றி சலனமுண்டு; ஆயின்
சலனம் இன்றியோர் சாந்தி இல்லை.

Santhi enbadum mananilai dhaan;
Chalanam enbadhum mana nilai dhaan;
Santhi indri chalanam undu; Aayin,
Chalanam indri ore santhi illai”

(Meaning: Both peace and restlessness indicate two states of mind only. There could never be a peace without the preceding restlessness.)

This answer didn’t address the query I had in my mind. So, I tried a bit differently. I became more personal “ When will I get Nimmadhi? (peace of mind)” I asked.

நிம்மதி என்பது நம்மதி சொல்வதே;
நம்மதி இரண்டு - நல்மதி, வன்மதி;
நல்மதி ஏற்று வன்மதி ஒடுக்கின்,
நிம்மதி எங்கே நீங்கி போயிடும் ?

Nimmadhi enbadhu namm madhi solvadhe;
Nammmadhi irandu nalmadhi van(dhur) madhi
Nalmadhi eatru vanmadhi odukkin
Nimmadhi eppadi neengi poyidum?

(Meaning: That you have ‘peace of mind’ (POM) is determined by our mind only. There are two states of mind in everyone – the good and the egoistic ones. If only you could control your ego and accept the promptings of the good mind, how could POM skip you? )

I was more restless now. How I can I make this samiyaar (hermit) understand? Possibly he never faced any missile like a taunting mamiyaar (MIL) in life. I keep asking questions and he keeps on writing philosophical poems - ala Kannadasan.
Hari was also listening intently to whatever I tell S. How much I wished that Hari gets an emergency call from nature? I didn’t know which specific God controls such calls. All the same, I prayed in general to All Gods. Perhaps, S understood my prayers and smiled. He asked Hari in sign language, to go out and call his PS. This was the opportunity I was waiting for. I poured out to S about the MIL issues and sought his blessings to relieve me of my misery.


மாடு முட்டி மரணமென்று மண்டையிலே எழுத்தம்மா!
மாடு தப்பி போனாலும் கோடு தப்பி போகாது.
கோடுயிட்ட கோமானே குலம் தழைக்கும் யென்றுசொல்லி
ஏடு விட்டுப் போயுள்ளார். இனியென்ன மனக்கவலை?

“Maadu mutti maranam endru mandayiley ezhuththamma;
Maadu thappi ponaalum kodu thappi pogathu
Kodu itta komaane kulam thazhaikkum endru solli
Eadu vitup poyullaar; ini enna manak kavalai.”

(Meaning : The destiny has decided a bull to gore her to death. Even if the bull misses, the lines on the head will not go amiss. Brahma himself has written that after this incident the family would prosper and there would be peace for everyone. Where is the need for you to worry anymore?)

Ah, this is it. I was so happy. I prostrated before S and thanked him from the core of my heart.

By then, Hari returned with PS. I told the PS that being a student of Tamil Literature, I have well understood the meaning of S’s verses and no need for further explanations. I also didn’t want Hari to know about my last query. I only told him about the first two and said that the meeting the saint itself has brought in a great sense of happiness in me.

That’s it Kamu. You are the only one I am confiding the whole interaction. It is after all a matter of days. Nowadays, I don’t get irritated by my MIL’s taunts. After all her days are numbered. The change in my attitude has pleased DH also no ends. He goes out of the way to please me at times, without his mom knowing. Oh, the meeting with S has totally changed my life. I feel so good now. I accompany MIL to temples regularly now, even against her wishes. At any cost, I want to be around and witness it first hand, when the sacred bull does its divinely ordained duty”.

Kamu was now feeling jealous of Prema. She was in sight of an end to her woes. She wished that she could also go to the saint for consultations. She raised it with Ravi a couple of days later.
“Why? You want your MIL also to be gored by a bull?” he shot back.
“What do you mean?” Kamu stared at him, partly in anger and partly in surprise.
“My mom has told me everything that you and your good friend Prema discussed the other day”.
“So it is. The selectively deaf MIL had done her duty well”.

Ravi was transferred out soon thereafter for a period of 3 years on promotion and moved out with his family. When they came back after the term was over, Kamu was very keen to know the developments in Prema’s household. But somehow, she was so preoccupied with settling down, she could not take time off for visiting her house.

As luck could have it, a couple of days later Ravi met Hari in the market and learnt that he had become a father recently. He invited them home for the naming ceremony.

Kamu had a number of queries on her mind, especially about the saint’s predictions. ‘Did P’s MIL die finally as a result of the bull’s hit? Was P around then ?....’

She was surprised to see Hari’s mom at the gate welcoming them. She was still alive after all. But, she also looked quite cheerful. “So, the saint had played a trick to bring an understanding between them, perhaps”.

Kamu went inside eager to met P. The child was in the cradle with so many milling around him. Just then Hari saw and thanked them for coming. “Did you met my wife?”he asked.

“I couldn’t find Prema anywhere. Is she inside?” Kamu quried.

“ Oh! You don’t know? We lost her two years back under tragic circumstances. A stray bull gored her to ...... . My mom was with her and tried her level best to save Prema, but couldn’t help. Who can defy fate? I got remarried to Radha, last year, due to compulsions from my family. But Prema is always with us like a guardian angel and guiding us in all respects - to peace & prosperity. Look how calm she looks and smiling at us with no worries of the world ” He said looking at Prema’s garlanded photograph on the wall, with moist eyes.

Kamu was shocked beyond words. Oh! This was what the saint meant. How true his words were?

“Don’t you think it could be a good idea that we also go & meet the saint?” Ravi asked Kamu, the next day, with a smile.

Her stare said it all, “Better take your mom and let her complain about me. For all you know, due to the saint’s blessings, she may be relieved of all her ailments soon”.

Anbudan,
RRG

 

Dear Sofea,
Many thanks for your comments.
You have understood what I wanted to tell.
Infact, I first wrote this story as if the 'bull-hit' was in DIL's dreams and by then she had changed so much that she was endeared by all, including MIL. That they lived happily there after. But, such an ending would have looked more cinematic, isn't it?
However, I am not sure which ending would be liked by our IL friends more.
Cheers,
RRG

 

Thanks Raji.
Cheers,
Rrg

 

Dear CL,
Thanks for your feed back.
Many a times we become short sighted. We fail to look at the full picture and admire it.
I initially wanted to write as to how pleasant the world would be, if only we could raise above some petty quarrels & selfish thoughts. Perhaps my penchant for giving twists at the end of the story overtook this desire. :biggrin2:
All the same, I am pleased with the fact that you all could get what I had in mind, even though not explicitly brought out. Hat's off to both you & Sofea.:hatsoff
Cheers,
Rrg

 

Dear CL,
Thanks for your comments.
I didn't say that I will not write abt MILs or MOLs. That's my bread & butter.
Considering my DW's embargo on my riting on such topics, I propose to wait till my DIL gets back to US (first week of Oct) before recommencing such stories. Hope you would continue to read them even after becoming MIL.
Cheers,
Rrg