Whom do guys love more, his wife or his mother?

I feel there is no way you can quantify love or compare it for that matter and if at all I ask this question I guess his answer would be similar to ajain's. I too dont know the logic behind the answer but I am pretty sure about the answer:bonk

 

In theory that makes sense. But beyond the mom, dad and wife title... there are real, UNIQUE people playing those roles. Yes, you could get another wife. But you could not get another of the same wife you have now.

My dh can get another wife for sure. In fact I'm his SECOND wife, so definitely I know the truth to that statement. But he can not get another ASG. He can't get another ME. So in that sense, I feel a wife is just as irreplacable as a mom.

And if you go to see, many people get 'another' mom. Either mom passed away early on in life, and hence were adopted by a new mom. Or mom was not available so kid bonded with aunt or sister.

Saying you can get another wife is like saying you can replace your sibling if they die. Yes, your parents could have another kid and hence give you a new sibling. But is that new brother or sister ever able to take the place of the first one? No.

 

I would say..Love your wife if not more,atleast as much as you like your mom...Afterall for a mom,you may be one of many sons...but for a wife..you will be the only husband...Like moms,wife givesup many things..in most cases she also givesup her family,friends,familiar surroundings..etc...

<<<In theory you are not supposed to choose.But,it solely depends on the relationship (mutual love,mutual respect,maturity etc) he has with his wife & Mom.

Most mature wives behave in such a way that it becomes very difficult for husbands not to like them more.They really compete for 100% love & attention and even command the same.

That is good news for the moms too.After all they want the best for their son...eventhough they long for their sons to love them more than anyoneelse.>>>

 

First my parents and next you??? How could you even say that??????
I am shocked to read something like this. So, you think your wife is always secondary. I mean, just imagine your wife saying that to you.
"My parents are my first priority" OR you think she has no right to say that because you are the HUSBAND, THE MAN here and you have every right to issue such statements and she needs to just nod her head to make you HAPPY so you would do the favor of marrying her. WHAT AUDACITY OF A MAN???

And she married you. How much you must have hurt her when you first told that to her? Just think!! Read over your post. You must be thinking you made it crystal clear before marriage but believe me no woman wants to hear she is the secondary priority of her man. IMO, You were too rude to have told her that.

If after marriage you had problems with your wife being unfair towards your parents then you could have told her that she is coming in the way of you fulfilling your duty towards your parents. But what is this??? You just went to meet the girl and you talk as though she has already insulted your parents.
You already assumed there is going to be trouble anyways.
I am not able to remain calm after reading your post. Really, hats off to your wife for marrying you after hearing that on the first meeting. Great!!!!

So, you can have another spouse??? But remember not another xyz(fill in your wife's name) as your spouse.
Please read ASG's post. She has explained it very well. Thanks ASG.

I am shocked we still have such men in this generation who consider wife secondary to parents, who compare parents and wife, who place parents over wife and who claim they can get another wife if need be so they are not bothered to treat wife secondary to parents.
And you say "be practical". Just think, your wife being equally practical. What's your fate then????

I ask you, why can't you place wife and parents equally??? It is possible only if you broaden your outlook and not take either one granted.
Try it Sreesri and you will see that whatever you told your wife at the first meeting was SO WRONG!
I hate a man who does not care for his parents after he gets his wife and equally hate a man who takes wife for granted when it comes to his parents.
I mean wife is wife and parents are parents. They are all separate entities. How can you place one above the other?

Bye!

 

sadwife, I don't think any sane man can answer this question without hurting someone. And, also this is a question which has no answer, at all!

The love towards mother is different from the love expressed towards wife. How can we even compare both these kinds of love? They are LOVE no doubt but expressed in different ways.
And loving one over the other, considering one top priority and taking other for granted is a CRIME.......IMO!

I have never tried asking my dh this and will never do. I think it is WRONG to even ask such questions. From the beginning we have lived in nuclear families and I really don't like the joint set ups somehow. I am not comfortable in those. My dh knows that very well. We have been providing every possible help for inlaws and I never get in the way of dh and his parents. He fulfills his duty as any son and I am proud of that. Now, we are trying to move inlaws closer to us so he can check on them daily. We are trying to get them a house in the same street. I have tried talking to them. They don't like the idea of living separately and want to live with us together under one roof. I don't like the idea of all of us living under one roof. Now, this is a conflict. But, we are decent enough to handle this without much hurt feelings. Dh is working on getting another apartment in the same floor in the same building as ours. If that does not work out then we may go in for duplex house. Here, I need my space and they wish to live with us. I would hate my husband if he ruled out my desire and only went with his parents wish and also would equally hate if he ignored their needs just because his wife needs her space.
My dh is trying to balance out both sides and I love him more for that. Whether it works out as planned or not is another issue but atleast HE IS TRYING. That is what matters most to me.

Asking your hubby this silly question will only invite more trouble so never do that!!

 

Totally agreed.. I went on generic , you went on specific, still if once digs deep down, every person is unique and they play very unique role in your life . The role could be replaced but no the uniqueness in that person(like ASG in THE WIFE for your hubbb..)

 

hiii ...well i guess love should not be compared ...i m not talking as a male prospective i am talking about myself but they are also human with same emotions...i think every love is different ur love towards ur parents is totally different from ur love towards ur hubby....like in my case i got married 1.5 yrs before n i came here just after my marriage so in initial years i was missing my parents too much i was like crying every though my hubby is very caring loving supporting and the most sweetest hubby but still i was crying (when he was in office ) n missing my parents and then after 8 months i went to meet them i went alone for 1 month n later my hubby joined my when i was going there in plane i was missing my hubby so much that i found tears in my eyes....so i guess its a mystery whom u love more sometimes i feel i love my sweet lille brother more than my hubby n parents ...so still confuse

 

We play multiple roles in our day today life.

I am a CITIZEN of a country.

I am a IMMIGRANT to a nation.

I am an EMPLOYEE to an organization.

I am a DAUGHTER to a mother.

I am a DAUGHTER to a father.

I am a SISTER to a brother.

I am a WIFE to a man.


Each role is different and unique. Most of the roles are by choice. We cant choose between roles. It is like comparing apples with oranges.