Dealing with Toddler/Preschooler tantrums, especially outside the home

nice one latha..

only when i am pressed for time (which mostly is the case) in the mornings, i end up not following some of these that i read here. i will consciously attempt following them now.

 

true Asha. We aren't bad moms, you know:bonk. but i find kids too push us to the limits only when we're pressed for time. i cannot be a saint when dinner needs to be fixed or when we are rushing out. well kids too need to do know there are bad and good days for anyone

 

Ladies, :bowdown. I have been inculcating your advices and Nilu's screaming has lessened considerably. I am now able to anticipate her needs, say no successfully and calm her down better when things go beyond a limit. And all this without spanking or yelling - which was what I was brought up to believe would work. :hide: Thank you all!

 

Dear moms,
I too agree with your words,
My son is 16months old, He is a very nice child, he get diverted very easily (for a while)
only problem is when we go for shopping, he starts pulling things, If I say no, immediately start crying and rolls on the floor.
he is very much fond of remote control, switches. he picks up and keep on changing the channel.
If I go to my In laws place, picking remote will be the big issue.
How to control that habit. pls advice

 

Latha, Asha, Anitha, Tikka... all others -

not sure if it is yet another growth sprout or wat! from yesterday DS wants to cry his lungs out for silly things.. last night when I went to mom's place to pick him up, he saw a bottle of cold water emptied by DH and wanted to have a sip of it.. if he had asked in words I wouldnt have minded.. but he cried and rolled even before any of us could understand what he wants.. I absolutely didnt want to give in especially because he cried out aloud as if if he cried he would get it.. so I carried him and walked out to our car waving bye to mom as we usually do.. letting him know none of are giving in if he cries.. I said only 2 or 3 times 'stop crying..' then I let him cry.. kept kissing him too.. but he chose not to stop.. he cried all the way I walked on the street and after we got into the car he suddenly stopped because he knew beyond that point anyways he cannot get what he cried for.. clever na?! I politely asked him 'you needn't have to cry.. you wasted you energy na?' he clearly says 'yes amma, waste..' then he was all smiles.. he forgot abt it. I dont know if this is the right way to deal with him.. please let me know girls.. any better way to handle such days??

hmm yes after we reached our house the first thing he asked was 'cold water' and in a minute he tried to 'cry'. I said 'you dont have to cry..' while I pulled out a bottle and he smiles immidiately.. and this little felo says 'I am big boy' every now and then.. grrrrr not yet!

adding - I dont want to deprive him of all that he asks.. but my intention is to only let him know he doesnt have to cry.. a NO from parents is a NO.. no matter what happens.. my DH is also supporting this idea.. do we seem rude??

 

I dont think so, AD. i handle dd the same way and this isn't new with her. she still sometimes think she can get anything crying (like she used to do when gps were around). slowly things are changing for the better. like you did, i try not to ignore her when she starts crying; she gets very sensitive when ignored. instead i explain to her that crying or no crying would yield the same result. it wasn't easy in my case (thought it was something to do with these girl children).

very important rest of the folks at home are with you. else you/dh have a tough time.

 

thanks for letting me know Asha.. yes, practising this way is easier as DH is supportive. it gets difficult on us when GPs barge into the scene to give DSwhat he wants..

 

After reading all u ladies post, I’m feeling little better.

My daughter is 2 ½ yr old…………but since few months whenever we taking her to our friends place or shopping she stop listening us. Last 2 wkends was really very bad & yesterday I can’t control my crying……………as usual we went to get together & lots of kids were ard there (some cultural practice was going)……….she was starts playing & interfering between the practice………we tried to stopped her…..but she starts yelling very loudly……….she refused to listen anything. This happened several time & then at last we had to give up & came back home. Same thing happen when we go to temple………she can’t sit for more than 10 mint………& start wondering here & there. Distracting others.

I really don’t know wht to do??? At home she is just fine……….good girl, behaving good….all in all everything is fine. But as soon as she goes outside………she ignores us completely & starts doing her tantrums.

And we have come to conclusion that we should stop going to get-togethers (we really feel embracing) many people don’t understand & stare us like we’re bad parents. Tell us what to do?????

I really need advice.

 

read 123 magic book disciplining children ages 2 through 12 which works and the thing is you need to be really consistent and follow the charting and rules. Please give this book a try and sure you will have good time for you.