Second Pregnancy Support

Laks09 · Jul 31, 2010

Re: 2nd Pregnancy

Mamma,
Congrats on your pregnancy! Since you can travel to India only in your second trimester, will you be able to afford a Nanny at least part-time until then? That way, the Nanny can help with your baby while you get a much needed break.
Your LO is still a baby so he maybe sleeping twice during the day. At these times, make sure you get the much needed rest.
Even if you cannot hire a Nanny, think about hiring a maid who can come in and clean the house for you once a week(or even once in two weeks). I did that when my DD was a baby and it helped tremendously. I also cooked and froze meals in individual serving sized ziploc bags over the weekends. DH helped with that. That way, I didn't have to worry about cooking all week long. Even idli batter stays in the freezer for up to 2-3 weeks. If not, try and see if you can find someone who cooks rotis and subzis for you. That way, you can just put some rice in the rice cooker and be done with it.

HTH,
L

sumyramasamy · Aug 3, 2010

I'm Pregnant Again

Hi ILites,

Gd day to all. I would like to pour my heart out. I'm pregnant again with my 2nd. My 1st is a boy, 2 years old. Unfortunately, my hubby keeps asking me to abort cos he says 1 is enough. He's more concerned on the expenses. I decided to keep my baby. I work too & I don't need to depend on him for financial support. It's not something new since he is a very stingy person & calculative. I feel sad with my 'talai ezhuthu' cos even when i had my first, since i was admitted cos loss of blood, my hubby & his mom kept askign me to go for abortion. I decided to keep the baby & with God's grace i delivered a pre-matured baby boy but he is healthy & vibrant just like any other 2 years old now & I'm proud of him. I hope God will help me to get thru this period again, where no one supports me emotionally, I have to go thru the 9 months by myself again. At times I feel so lonely inspite of having a hubby & living with in-laws. Whatever i crave or long for usually i will buy or cook it myself to eat. My parents have passed on & I dont like to depend on my siblings no doubt being the youngest. Life has taught lessons & i've learned not to depend on anyone but God. God has always been my side. But when it comes to fault finding & bad mouthing, everyone seems to exist. Life has taught lessons & i've learned not to depend on anyone but God. God has always been my side. Life has never been fair to me but i will never let it dampen my spirits. I will take good care of my kids & myself. I hope all the mothers out there who share the same boat with me will support me & each other. Sometimes you have the whole family around you but you still feel lonely in a certain way. Humans don't behave like humans anymore, busy lifestyles has turned them like machines...too cold. I dont opt to be one & I will give all the love my kids need, with or without the father cos it seems to make no difference to me. Just sharing & pouring my feelings out. Thanks for listening.

vaidehi · Aug 3, 2010

Re: I'm Pregnant Again

Hi Sumy,

Heartiest Congratulations on your pregnancy,& tight hugs to u for all the situation u face . As u said just put all your burden n the Almighty.
Everyone goes thru some kind of problem in life(i am in no way under estimating ur struggle) so be strong and positive. Just think of the innocent kiddo who is going to be smiling & cooing at u at the end.

God Bless and take lots of care

gokusha · Aug 3, 2010

Re: I'm Pregnant Again

Hi,

Congratulations!!!!

This is happiest stage in women's life, so try to be very happy to the maximum.Even this will pass away, don't worry. God blessings and your parents wishes willbe always with you.

Take care, eat well..

If you feel lonely, you have a wonderful company your first kid, share with him all your feelings. He too will start waiting and loving his sibling who is going to arrive in short.

Bye ma.

sausum · Aug 3, 2010

Re: I'm Pregnant Again

Hey Sumi,

CONGRATS!!!! Dont think about anything else.. Think bout the tiny soul growing inside you.. Dat itself will keep u happy.. GOD is always thr with you... Be happy...

Whenever u feel like venting it out, we are here. (tension relievers).. We will do our best... by lending our shoulders.. Take care dear..!!!

mamma · Aug 3, 2010

Re: 2nd Pregnancy

Thanks Laks09. Yeah mostly getting food from outside at least these initial days.
Based on calculation, nanny expenses and travelling to India seem to be costing us almost the same. Given the travel expenses for me and my DH.
Also lot depends on my first appointment and doctor's advice. Just hoping everything falls in place and works out fine.

DevikaS · Aug 4, 2010

Re: 2nd Pregnancy

Congrats!!

I would say that you stay here.. it might get too hectic for you to travel to india and come back in the 7th month back here with a small child & pregnant.. its a LONG journey.. & later on I am not even sure it is safe to travel such a long journey.. I know Air India doesnt let pregnant ladies fly after 30 weeks (family friend is a pilot) so that is 7th month..

& i also think it would be better to get all your prenatal care from one doctor instead of jumping between doctors here and then in india and come back here ..

you could hire a nanny / put your child in day care for few hours a day whislt you do housework & cook ect.. or try and manage it with the baby on your own, if you cannot manage then look for help.. as for carrying the baby doctors advise you dont lift s weight more than 25lbs.. I dont know how heavy your child is now, so you can decide that & talk to your doc.

good luck!!

sumyramasamy · Aug 4, 2010

Re: I'm Pregnant Again

Hi ILites,

Thanks for your warmth & support. Readings your replies gives me strength & hope. Thanks again & keep smiling.

Laks09 · Aug 4, 2010

Re: 2nd Pregnancy

I guess Devika has a point. If you do come to India you'll have to go back around 28-29 weeks. And seeing one doc from the beginning to the end makes sense. I do have friends who have traveled to India though between 14 and 29 weeks and I was planning on doing the same thing but was high risk so had to stay back. Another option is to probably get your folks there now. They can leave after you complete 15weeks and again come during your third trimester. Anyway in the second trimester, you should be fine to do stuff yourself.
Lifting your baby is not an issue. I've seen so many Moms with infants getting pregnant and caring for the older one.
Btw, if you are still nursing your baby, please make sure your intake of calories is 300 cals more than what is recommended and also your fluid intake is more.

Good Luck,
L

Tanujam30 · Aug 4, 2010

Re: I'm Pregnant Again

Hello !!

Congratulations on your happy news !!! Its diff to be without a support system at this time. But like someone mentioned here, you have your son to share your happiness with . You sound like someone whos already got her priorities right...so have fun, be happy & share your happiness with your son & everyone out here.

Take care - both of you :thumbsup
Tanuja