Confused with husbands online affaire,phone calls and lies.

This is all nasty, how did you even put up with all this for 5 years. Truly appreciate your patience.
I am hoping that you working now and are more confident in managing your life better. You absolutely NEED to a final talk with your H and aim for a closure. Depending on how he responds please be prepared to move out out of the marriage.
He has been having an affair for so long now, would you really believe that he will stop anytime soon. Till then at least please don't plan for a baby.

 

If he cannot change his behavior even after confronting so many times then I guess either he has this habit of cheating people and he don’t want to change it or he's really interested in that woman.
If I were you I would have talked to him and explain him that..
1. I DO NOT like his behavior and he's cheating on me
2. I want this relationship to work and I want sincere efforts from him as well.
3. I would wait for some time and if he continues to behave same way then I would think of separation and life WITHOUT him....
You will have to stand up for yourself...nobody can help you unless you help yourself...

Try to find a job and be financially independent this will give you more confidence to stand up for yourself..

This is JMO...Other ILites will give you much better advice...

good luck..
kinjal

 

I am really sorry for your plight, But to be very very frank with you ... Your husband should have had such himalayan guts and gall to have actually given you all the passwords and still have intimate relations with this woman. This just goes to show how minuscule importance you have in his life. And how you are just reduced to a non-existent being. I am just shocked.

Please think a 1000 times before submitting to this sort of person who would abuse and divorce you for some internet fling. Do you not deserve more love and respect than this ? Please ask yourself.

If you are wanting sympathy, u will surely have all our sympathy... but if you want suggestions, Pleas get a job, gather your courage and give him an ultimatum. If he continues with this dirty liaison, just walk out and live alone or with parents for sometime. These meaningless relationships will die a natural death if given time. This is not love ... pure lust and animal instincts.

All the best. Be brave. Marriage is not the be all and end all of life.

 

Next time if he even try's to threaten you or pack your bags instead of calling your MIL ....
call 911, they will pack his bags to India and then it will automatically put a stop to his random Flings ....

He is taking you for granted and every time he says sorry you will run behind him... if you have put your footdown when he had did this first time only ... I'm sure he would not have behaved this way...

Its not too late the ball is in your court.

 

Hi!
I am quite shocked reading the contents of your post:hide: You are quite strong willed to tolerate this behavior for so long!
Please realize that marriage thrives on mutual trust. You have a problem trusting him and he has a problem with being committed. He is giving up on a real relationship for a virtual relationship, which is not okay. You dont even know whether it is all virtualor whether he actually meets women off the net:hide:

Sort out your relationship with him first before you ttc. What sort of an environment will you bring up the child in?? I am surprised that you are even willing to have his child when he is not committed to you and is abusive towards you and threatening to divorce. Please be careful in the decisions you make. First, find a job and dedicate all your energy towards that, build your confidence and take it from there.

 

This is insane. I dont understand how come you are putting up with this. How many times do you plan to excuse him for this. This is the problem with us women and the society. Once we are married, we think that is the end of our world and come what may we have to put up with such nonsense. I dont want to hurt you, but girl, move on. You have your whole life ahead of you. I know its none of my business, but first work on your relationship (if you really want to) and then think of a baby. It will be all the more difficult for you to manage alone with a baby.

Sometimes, it better to use your mind than your heart.

Our support is always there for you dear.

 

First of all, whatever you do, PLEASE do not bring a child into this unfortunate mess. S/he deserves better.

Second of all, your husband is a classic abusive personality. He is playing with your head AND your heart and you are buying into all of his lies and games. If this affair has continued for FIVE YEARS, then what does that tell you? That he is quite serious about the other woman? If he REALLY cared about you and his marriage, then he'd have cut her out of his life by now and focused on you and helped you get a job, carry a pregnancy to term etc. He really does not care tuppence for you and it's time for you to wake up and smell the coffee. No matter how much you try, your husband should also cooperate with you to make your marriage work. It takes two to tango, my dear, and I do not see or read anything in your post that indicates to me that your husband values you or your relationship as much as you do him and yours.

Time to sit down and have THE talk. In fact, it might not be a bad idea to try a temporary separation at all right away. That might either bring him to his senses and make him realize the folly of his ways OR it might motivate him to opt out and end your marriage. Neither of this is really a bad outcome. If your marriage does end, then at least you won't have a child to worry about AND since you are fairly young, attractive and come across as a smart and intelligent lady, you can get your life back on track, move on and start afresh. So, take him up on his offer, get a ticket back to your home town and start a trial separation.

But, whatever you do, DO NOT TRY TO CONCEIVE UNTIL YOUR MARITAL PROBLEMS HAVE BEEN SOLVED. IT IS VERY, VERY, VERY UNFAIR OF THE TWO OF YOU TO BRING AN INNOCENT CHILD INTO SUCH A NOXIOUS SITUATION.

Good luck and stay strong.

 

Hey dnt plan for a kid......wait for some time...and try to get a job...... i know its not easy to get a job but u can postpone ttc...I know 5years time is little late but not late.........first of all u guys dnt have a good relationship so try to improve that otherwise walkout from that relation if u really hurt or ur dh doesnt change his behaviour....... wait for sometime so that u can observe ur dh's behaviour.......


Dnt plan for kids

 

U should try to find out if your husband actually has had physical relations with this lady in real life. if thats the case just file for divorce and move on. he is incapable of change.