Relationship Hijack And Banter - 3

If in laws do not accept your relationship or take ages to accept,then marry only after getting an assurance from your partner that you will not be expected to be close to them and you can just have a formal relationship with them.

1)Why do guys or sometimes girls expect the partner to accept with open heart,immedieatly after marriage,the people who do not like you or have reservation about you ?
May be things can get better after a few years but expecting a person who is not accepted to be normal is unreasonable.

2)Never leave your spouse alone with your parents if they resent your spouse. It is your responsibility to protect your spouse from your family and if they illtreat then you are responsible because you put her/ him in that place .

3)Never leave a pregnant wife with people who do not accept her whole heartedly. The scars remain for ever and you are the one who will suffer.

 

Aren't all our cells rebuilt every 7 to 10 years ? One would expect some data-loss, a few screws loose here and there, and some slight change in responses to old stimuli.

 

Hardware weakens of course, like the phone that gets it's display scratches, dents and dots here and there.

What about the software?

 

Rihana had asked Hari'L "vot happind?". I wondered that too, and thought of Influenza, the seasonal thing we are reminded of, in Oct-Nov of each year.

"Rumpole of the Bailey", the television play featured the character Horace Rumpole, a defence lawyer. Here is a scene with his wife, whom he called "SHE who must be obeyed".

It was a Fuzzy system to begin with, and it adapts over several iterations of empirical observations and inferences. It is not the same as it was before generations of hardware rebuilds. Everyone else is also fuzzy, and have subroutines gone rogue.

 

Education (perhaps better said as "the means to make a decent living on her own"), the ability to understand the vested interests in transactions (such as "pairing up" or marriage), and the correct use of contraceptive methods to protect herself until she is sure of meaningful joint child rearing prospects --- should all be required training in a middle class home. Only the very wealthy can get by without these, and the poor have a whole heap of other issues before they could get to have middle class problems.

Some of the real life struggles of IL members, when overdosed, can make any browser of this forum feel extremely sad. If some rapid climate change is going to cause cntl-alt-del for us all, heck... let it be. Nevermind... it is just a Monday.

 

Most of the times, one goes by (blind) optimism. For those whom it worked become the (unofficial) rule makers, browbeating those who suffer (meaninglessly) to keep doing it, numbing themselves in this process.

Happy times don't make people introspect(and come to the forums). On the contrary the 'help me, my life is over' posts surface when that continuum is broke. Thus forum is filled with negativity.

Same with car forums that i visit -filled with 'help, my car isn't starting' posts rather than '5 years of non-stop service, i am so happy'.

 

.... coz all happy people are on facebook... the other forums are only left with sad bunch..

or..... wait

 

OP, I believe one need immense courage to do so. Its not easy. Many women stay in marriage because there is no other better option, especially in India. It needs lot of strength to manage a life where your needs are not satisfied. Its the fear of unknown, being lonely, or lack of better options, kind of codependency , many factors. The tolerance level varies from one person to another.

If you dont mind, can you share how was your experience going back. What type of better deal they got.
How are you managing your life. Is your dh treating you better now. I think the info will be useful. If you dont want to reply, pl ignore.

 

Mark? Is that you?