Ignored By Bil Since Many Many Years

Sorry OP
But looks like you have a very biased opinion about yourself. Everyone is bad but you are good. Bil is black and you are white, both are sheep.
You can be loved or hated but noone is “allowed” to ignore you.
Do you have a SIL? If you had one, you would be happy for BIL.
Please dont leave your daughter in his house as @Amulet said, irrespective of him beibg good or bad bil.

 

Thanks for that tag ! Honestly, I was shocked to read that "plan to leaver her there" statement from @sunshine2017.... and now she adds...

OMG! These new mothers need to go to some training class to learn how to take care of their daughters, and protect them from relatives who have easy access to their homes, and children.

 

Op....please don't leave a young daughter alone with a male relative...no matter how good or bad.

It is better to be safe.
Send your husband and daughter together to spend sometime instead.
The two brothers can take her out for a kids movie or park if required.

As for bil....in your case it is for your husband to clear the air between you two. If he is not willing to do so then why do you care ?....let it be.

His not coming to your function is his wish. Would you have liked if he came and acted weird and rude in front of people ?
It is better the anti social person stays away from society.
No body has the time to think about who came and who did not for too long.
Don't waste your peace of mind thinking about that .Think...good, he did not come and everything went well.

As for mil and fil ....you can just tell them you don't know why he does not come . On your part you have talked to him but he does not respond so it is fine .

If your husband can't even clear the air ...I doubt he has told him he should not come . He must be expecting invitation to come to your house.

If he does come to your house, don' t make an issue of it. It is not just your house...it is your husband's house too. You would not like your husband to ban your brother from his house ,would you?

You can choose to react how you want in his presence.
You can leave him with your husband and do your own thing ....don't make it an issue when everything is going fine .
If he wants to be comfortable coming to your house,he will eventually have to behave better or you can leave your husband to fend for himself and his brother.

Don't give this loser more mind space than he deserves. Just worry about your daughters safety and your peace of mind.

 

that might come as another course for ladies...

 

Agree with others here. No matter how close or nice relative is, a young child shouldn't be left alone with single person. Boy or girl. The world is not what it used to be when we were kids. Too much uncensored exposure has lowered morals and heightened desires. 99% chance people are still good. But with precious babies, we can't take the 1%chance. Priests, teachers, relatives, neighbours, doctors. Heard them all haven't we?
I remember when we grew up in a small village, we used to mostly play outside in groups. Just tell parents we are going out. Would gather at some common place and wander around playing. But everywhere elderly people, uncle aunties, big brothers and sisters would keep an eye and tell us off if we went off track. Plus it was never alone. A big gang. Never felt unsafe. But it's not so anymore. Nice people are respecting each other's space, waiting for permission to touch someone's child in need, interfere if they see something wrong. While paedophiles are more and more bold. Also you never know he might have some of his friends over at times.