How Do I Work This Out ?

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by anika987, Sep 12, 2019.

  1. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    The neighbor has a nanny,in-laws coming every six months and her parents coming every six months and she works from home.

    I don’t have any of that..

    I try to explain myself with people..it’s like a reflex reaction..
    These days am just going two minutes before school bus comes and say bye right away after kid comes.I don’t entertain talking with her..
     
  2. messedup

    messedup Platinum IL'ite

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    You need a real target. My situation was also very similar to yours. But I now have a specific target and working towards that. Some days are good and some are not so fruitful but still I am focused and giving all that I can. Need to move in a more planned way. Anxiety may take you to a more weird situation. Know what you really want to do for the rest of your life not just to keep others mouth shut.
    One of my friend is going through this phase. When she was not working everyone used to say that she has got all the time and put various comments on her for this. She started feeling low and joined the less paid job. Her child is small and h has to travel a lot. She mostly cry with the feeling that no matter how tired she is or not well no one come to help her and her child. Many have started saying that why she needed to join such job when her child is small. Now she can't leave the job abruptly and facing lots of problems all alone.
     
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  3. armummy

    armummy Platinum IL'ite

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    Anika ,

    I guess you need to make your self BUSY in SOMETHING ..... if you are busy you won’t have time to think about others and their comments .... you don’t need money .... why don’t you just volunteer , go to library and do some thing...get into hobby , jewellery making , learn to sew , make dresses ...work in retail .. many avenues to keep yourself busy away from what ever is bothering you ..

    When some one starts to talk just say busy will catch you later ...

    Also assess if actually others are being rude to you or you are over thinking and over analyzing every word they speak ...

    Seriously no one has some much time and energy to put some one down constantly ...one off comments leave it ....
     
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  4. jskls

    jskls IL Hall of Fame

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    Anika I had been both SAHM and Working mom. First of all to get back into workforce was not easy after a gap of 8-10 years . it took me at least an year of job search and preparation to start with, The transition was not easy. With difficulty I started at a low salary apart from travelling 100 miles everyday and definitely had to afford child care. This I did for almost 2.5 years. I gave myself that time to gain experience, become confident, learn to work in a professional environment and also excel in driving. I work because I want to and I have to. One thing I can say is going outside my comfort zone has given me good exposure to the outside world. It was not easy.

    Also, in any status either SAHM or WM I never encountered any nosy questions as you say. our area has the highest indian population but no one has questioned me what do I do with my free time or why do I put my kids in childcare and run around. the first time I meet someone maybe there will be a casual talk if one is working or one has to commute just a way to build conversation but nothing to be judgmental. Mostly conversations will be only around kids what classes they go to or schools or teachers etc.

    I have a friend who is SAHM who is adored by all our friends. She can do any work inside the house be it remodeling cabinets or closing down a swimming pool in her backyard and create a beautiful lawn or grow a vegetable garden with all indian veggies, or be an excellent event planner for any parties, or create a beautiful garland with rose petals or try her hands at home catering business or be an excellent interior home designer apart from volunteering at local hospitals too. you name it she can do it. In our friends group her opinion and advice are valued very highly and her (paid) help is sought frequently. Staying at home is not a bad thing. Whatevert she is doing is in the best interest of her family (like any other working woman or SAHM does). Whatever you want to do you can if you set your heart to it.

    Good luck.
     
  5. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    That's good.
    Does she ask you the same question every day??
     
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  6. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    almost! She always picks some topic around work and makes a mention about how hard she is working
     
  7. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    I enjoy fitness,yoga and Zumba..
    I do it everyday outside classes the entire week.After that housework,kids activities,tv time etc..


    I don’t know if the above is fruitful and am Being useful for the family but that’s what gives me happiness..

    I am still trying but hopefully get some part time
     
    Caughtinbetween and messedup like this.
  8. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Platinum IL'ite

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    Negative naginis - omg wow for the term you coined!!!
    I never watched soap operas sometimes during dinner mom would be watching with no choice I too watch. I see how one can plot , annoy others, later seeing in real life too , NNaginis
     
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  9. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Platinum IL'ite

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    If it's so hard to work... You can ask her to quit. Too much man. I know many people say work is tough ya that's why they pay you. Money doesn't grow on trees. I think she wantedly corners you to satisfy her ego. Hi-bye is better with her.
     
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  10. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    E2C93D7A-21D5-4591-A3E2-4FD1110754D6.jpeg Interestingly..I got a forward today....
    Like a sign..
    I like to control things in my life but sometimes things are way beyond my control..
     

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