Stupid Husband

Dear, whats ur actual issue with him. U get a job and if he is good enough to drive a taxi and earn as well is there a problem?

 

Pooja, consider urself lucky that your skill set got u a PR, in all probability u will land up with a good job too. If u never wished to leave India perhaps situation would have been different. And u mention u got him the PR too (if am understanding this right) so build ur career and see how it goes. Ur hubby might change too in time. U focus on ur career, build ur finances. See how it goes. Take a call weighing all the pros n cons.

 

Sorry Pooja for being negative here. I am apologizing in the beginning itself so that my comment doesn't hurt you.
First of all Kudos to you for being this strong independent lady and getting a PR and focusing on your good career.

This is the very basic character of your husband . I have seen/experienced this kind of trait in a very close family member. There is not much you can do with regards to changing them. They are them and will never change especially when you have made it easy for him. Now that he has seen you do it he will never change knowing the fact that you are a smart savior for him and you will somehow fix it for him with your hard work/skill/qualification.This is one harsh reality which you will have to accept until he changes but the case I have seen/experienced he never changed and but their life continues to move on with this .
The case I am mentioning : I have seen the wife accept this husband as is (off course with a lot frustration) and she goes on to accomplish everything which a woman/mother can. Take care of kids, their education , their marriage and to top it put up with this husband similar to what you have mentioned. She does cry and crib saying how she wishes her life was much better had he been a bit smart and responsible in his career.

I would also suggest the same as Sandy : Focus on your career, build your finances. See how it goes.

 

You cannot change someone's basic nature and character . So unfortunately you need to accept it that this is how he is.
Build your own career but keep control over finances.
If your dh gets money from you, he will think this is easiest wah to deal with his life and never change.
Let him find his own ways to cope up with his career if he wants money to buy anything.
Focus on your career.
There is a saying that you can bring a horse to the water but you cannot force it to drink.
It will drink when it needs to.

 

Why are there so negative comments about your husband. all the time women talk about equal rights and now you got a chance , you are acting hypocrite. look at some threads, some men are sitting at home and doing nothing. he wants to work but just not regular blue color work. What if he can pay off his taxi and buy and run a business.

you have a good career ,
i do not understand, if he is a good kind man, who is hard working . i would ignore social view.

 

Since the underlying problem is OP wants to go back, her husband doesn't, she will have to find a middle ground with the husband. In marriage, it is easy to blame both, however, these decisions are made together, no matter who worked hard for what, so blaming the spouse is not going to get you anywhere. Unlike other culture, we don't divorce or breakup just because the goals of one person doesnt match the other. So griping and grudging always comes along.


OP, What do you want? Live with your husband happily or end up bickering for life? Will OP's outlook on living in the new country change if her husband gets a job of her liking? Any job is good for social security, no? Why dont you talk to your husband about your goals and come to an amicable solution? It might not be the happiest but try to make a decision you both can live with. Think about long term goals too - like kids (assuming no kids, where to settle down, where OP want to be in next 10 years of the career etc.). some long term planning is always better than no planning.

 

Both are contradicting.

Atleast he wants to drive Taxi.
You cannot forcefully change a person especially who is egoistic/adamant.
But since you are working in high paying job, start saving for the future.

 

Its good, he wants to run a taxi and earn.
You too seem to be egoistic.