Sister

Op :
Is she your own sister? Why haven't you communicated with her earlier about your new born situation and the difficulty in accommodating the entire family?
Nieces don't have school to attend?
Even if it's one's own sister it's difficult to accommodate entire family for such long period.
You said June 1st week they came? And they planned a 1 month stay. So as per their plans they should be leaving in another 1week?

Check with them about the progress in their business venture. Since you have accommodated them for nearly a month I'm assuming that another 1 week should be okay (with and without she helping) . If they plan to extend their stay ask them how long it will take for them to settle with new house/accomodation of theirs.?

If your mom can come and help you then I think some problem can be solved.

In any case I found what you have written a bit weird. She not helping you in cooking and you not communicating properly and she staying at a sister's place for such long period that too when you have a new born.

Talk and get things sorted.

 

Communicate openly with your sister.
Apologise for your outburst. Confess that you were stressed/moody. When people are guests at our home we shouldn't be rude to them even before we have communicated our requirement.

Request your sister to make a little extra dinner. Thank her for it. Take up cooking for the family one time a day. Let the meal be simple. Let them not feel that they are in charge of both lunch and dinner daily. Communicating openly should solve most of your issues.
Tell your nieces that today their aunt want to watch xxx program. Talk to your nieces like how you would with your own. If you shower them with genuine love and concern, you can also correct them when needed.

 

This problem isn’t going to get fixed until unless you talk or they leave.

How did it come to this ? Are you n your sister not close ? Close enough to stay but not talk ?

Are you the only one buying the vegetables , does she not buy ? Is it about the money or she can’t go ? Or she’s expecting you to do all the spending for including them ?

Why can’t you tell your sis to cook a lil extra for you? It’s not like she’s cooking separately for you.

Tv time, talk with the kids. You are their aunt.

Take her alone n talk to her about what’s wrong. You guys can do cooking together, like you can sit n chop n she can do the cooking, share or do stuff together. May help in bonding too.

 

Apologize to your sister. They are in need of a place to stay. We women accommodate with inlaws but when it comes to our parents or siblings, we magnify their limitations. Imagine how uncomfortable your sister and bil must be to stay in others home. Comfort them and male them feel like home. They way we treat our guests defines us. Especially it’s your elder sister. Think about the companionship you might have shared during childhood. If we see the positives, even a cluttered house won’t matter. What matters is family and love in my opinion.

 

I think it maybe wise to sit down and talk to her about troubles you have been facing as a new mom. And see if she can lend a hand. If she cannot than ask her politely to at least control things that are bothering you. Like maybe the kids get specific TV time and then adults get some.

 

All is well that ends well.
A time would come that your family and you might need their (sister’s family ) help to accommodate for a week or so. Life is team work with kin and kith at times.
God bestows robust mind and health for accommodating couple.

 

Hi,
Here are my thoughts on this.having family staying for long time is a lot of work, but being nice goes a long way. However, it doesn't mean you have to give up everything in your life to accommodate theirs.

1. Since you dont have time to cook or clean, its easy if you get boxed lunches and microwave or easy cooking options. If your sister is not staying with you, how do you plan to manage? Keep that in mind, and plan your day accordingly. If your sister takes away food/time/space talk to her and let her know it is not okay, but acknowledge that you still love your sister.
2. They are guests in your house. I do not think you need to feel obliged to let them do whatever they want. But since they are family, ask them nicely about the things you dont agree with. It is better to let them know right away than waiting for another day or husband to come home. you don't have to be rude.
3. It is not nice to ask them to do things that you are not doing in your house. (Since you don't cook, you can't ask them to cook for you or your family). It is not your sister's job to make anyone in your family happy. For her, the top priority will always be her husband and kids. It has to be like that for you. DO what you have to do to make your family's needs are met.
4. Since they are staying long term, I think it is okay to ask them to share groceries. At least the stuff they use. If they use your grocery, put it out there to keep some vegetables for you. If you didn't ask, you are not going to get anything. Even the tv. Tell them they can watch for an hour or two, then you have to watch. And make sure you follow through. It doesn't have to be a fight, play nicely such that everyone gets their turn. They might get offended at first, but if you tell them from the beginning, I think they will understand. After all they are family.

Hope you resolve all of the conflicts soon!

 

Communication is the key.
I understand your need as a new mother, and your expectations regarding lunch for your husband.
But what i don't understand is your silence about them.
Why can't you talk to your own sister about all these...
Simple communication like, 'Sissy put some extra rice... Make more veggies as i too need them... Or something like, asking sister to get something of your need whenever they go out.
Either you can ask them out of love or may be by giving money for the things you need from the market whenever they go for shopping.

It all has to happen spontaneously just like that. The bond between the two of you should be that much thick to make it happen.
Then only you can host them for a long time.