Very Disturbed.

This is just a classic case of manipulation to gain confidence of ur hubby and keep him in wraps forever. And no way she'l let go as well. Now rather than complaining straight to him which will only cause more friction in ur relationship. Instead try reverse psychology. U said ur MIL enjoys at parties and malls. Take assistance of ur kids to make vidoes of her enjoying and walking with those needs she claims damaged. Let them make like a video collage stating 'fun with darling granma'. Then while hez watching state in an extreme happy tone 'see how happy mumma is' ohh luk there she is having fun at the kitty party'. Works like a charm. But u have to work ot out right. Not with ny frustration or hatred. There is always a solution to every problem.

 

Ask the warm blooded son to take his mom with him and take care of her like a mom should be taken care of .
Let them look after each other.

Don't give up going to your parents place for this drama queen. Give it back to your husband and tell him your parents are getting old too and how would he like when he can't see his child when he is old.
Call him a cold blooded man.

Stop caring about this man who doesn't care about you kenny. If he doesn't want you to come to him...go to your parents place or take your kid and go for a vacation on your own.Tell him you are leaving and go.

Don't sit at home with this shrew . If you do it this time...she will know she can get away with this every time .

Go to your parents or some vacation near by and she will know next time she messes with your life, she will be left alone.


Stop taking care of a woman who can't see you happiliy married. She is her children's responsibility not yours..specially when she comes in the way of your life with your husband .

You have been married for donkeys years now. How long are you going to take this crap from this woman and her son ?Take a stand if you want things to change.

 

Sorry for your situation. But realistically your Dh is not going to suddenly ditch his mom and whisk you away to a romantic destination. Your MIL is not going to bless the trip and give a happy send off.

You can have an agreement with your DH that he takes his mom for a trip and then takes you and your kids for a trip so both enjoy quality time with him separately and happily. So that you and your MIL dont have miserable vacation and actually enjoy the trip. thats what I did with my ex husband but his family were not satisfied and ruined that also because they felt wife doesnt deserve quality couple time with husband, she should always be with inlaws and cater to their needs. Indian culture traps women and makes them an unpaid servant. Smart women will work out a plan and find happiness.

You should also reduce your dependency on him and start going to trips with your kids or visit your parents and not make yourself miserable all the time thinking this.

Tell your DH to take care of his mom for 2 weeks and you go visit your parents. Indian men who are momma's boys are always momma's boys. You need to work around that, they wont change at this age.

 

OP. I have seen my sister in law come and stay with us when her MIL had a knee replacement surgery.
The second one came during open heart surgery of her FIL. I feel they do that on purpose to escape their duty towards their ILs. I personally haven't done that .
So be smart and use your kids here and tell your husband you need a vacation with him and kids are yearning for that. . You need a break too. You are not a nurse duty bound to be with her 24/7 . If you have a cook and maid just convey to him for a few days she should manage with them . If he can't agree plan something with you and kids only. Shouldn't the kids be seeing other other grandma / grandpa . ?
Just go and stay with your mom dad otherwise take vacation Leaving mommy and son !

 

@kenny, handling a manipulative, needy MIL can be frustrating. You've tried dealing with your DH and MIL directly and honestly and it hasn't worked. It may be time to fight fire with fire.

Step 1: You already have a cook and cleaner so your MIL's basic needs are met. Gradually stop doing things for her yourself. Don't take her to parties or the mall. Be soft and sweet and say you plan to do a lot of walking and you're afraid her knees will hurt. If you get trapped into taking her with you, bring her and the kids to a park where you and the kids can run around. Do this consistently. Create a situation where her basic needs are met by cook/cleaner and you are providing no personal services at all.

Step 2: Suggest that your MIL move in with her son — all he has to do is hire a cook and cleaner. Poor DH is living all alone and fending for himself when he could have her managing his home. And she would surely rather live with him than with you. If he declines, make him feel guilty for not wanting to spend time with his darling Mummy who raised him so lovingly.

Step 3: When she goes off to visit him, you and the kids are free to visit your parents. Don't forget to send postcards saying how much you miss her.
.

 

Perrrfeccttt!

 

I thought that @Amica is so sweetly wicked.

 

It’s time to teach your husband a lesson!! Don’t go to his town for vacation.. instead take your kids to your parents place.. send his mom to his place or ask him to come and take care of her.. Sometimes it’s necessary to take care of ourselves too!! Good luck!