Hi, Need help from all you . I have invited my mother and a sister to visit me abroad. My another sister invited herself with her 2 year old son. We are living in 2bhk house. Accomodation wont be as comfortable still I am happy to have her and her son. I was looking forward for their travel. I just joined back in work , but managed to get 10 days leave. they are going to stay for 1 month. Now, at last minute, this sister changed plans and now coming with her husband as well. Now 4 adults and a baby are coming. My sister didn't even check with me before inviting her husband..I was really looking forward to have some personal time with my mom. she is coming here for first time. may be the last time as well. This sister is living with my mom and my mom is taking care of my sister's baby from the day he was born. I just wanted this vacation to be a change for herself and wanted to give her some rest. Now, if my sister's family coming along with her, its going to be same for her. And I know, we cant even have any private conversation when bil is around all the time. We are having 5 seater car. Initial plan was, I would take them for short trips when my kids are at school. now, I don't know how I am going to manage. Next is finance. We are just back from major financial crisis, and saving to buy a house. Here, my family comes. they would just spend for their air tickets. we have to take care of all of their expenses here. How do you all manage when families visiting you? How often do we need to take them out? won't they be bored if they have to stay at home for all day? we have a lovely park near our home. And few supermarkets. that's it. we are living in outskirts and we don't anything else walkable. How to manage expenses? Do we have to give them money, if they go for short trips themselves? Any thoughts? Entertaining guests on budget?
same problem happen to me I request my father and mother to stay with us for 3 months, chain loops as sister and her daughter, son and husband when the loop becomes big I told them i am living in small flat, we can't accommodate more than two persons in our flat also we don't have big vessels for cooking and transportation will also a big headache, finally i told then no need to come..
I can understand your situation. But I can't say that. Already my mother is aged and loosing her abilities to travel. this may be first and last trip to abroad for her.. Mad at my sister for being so selfish..
@anivijay Explain these reasons to your sister that your family is living in a 2bhk flat and going out also will be a problem with a big group as you have 5 seater car, and clearly tell her that everyone including the guests has to make lot of compromises and adjustment and no one can enjoy their holiday completely. So tell her to let your mother and other sister come this time and she can come next year with her husband and kid to enjoy the holiday without any compromises and adjustments. If you don't disclose these facts, there will be a chance of negative feedback or your sister family may not appreciate if you can't provide good comforts because of lack of accommodation space and taking them out for trips etc..
Tell your sister tat it would be very difficult to manage as it’s only 2BHK. Don’t know which country you are residing . But in some countries they are very particular with total no of occupants. You can tell that there is restriction in your apartment that only so many people can stay once according to your agreement. If you violate the rules then you need to get out of the apartment according to the contract.
Thanks for the reply Pratyusha. Even I think , its best if she could visit next year or after 2,3 months with her family. My husband also tells the same. I told my mother the situation, but I am afraid if I tell my sister, how she takes that. But if they come together at same time, I am going to spend lot of money but they are going to return unsatisfied.
thanks for the reply Shravs3. Living in UK. Not in a flat, but a individual house and they know our landlord is very friendly. I'll think and come up with some other reason like this. Feel guilty also at the same time
We normally invite someone to bond, but when many people come it becomes a chaos and pain for the host. Wish people understood to not invite themselves to someone's house for long stays when there are other people invited. Maybe you can talk to your sister honestly that you want some alone time with your mom for some particular reason and you will invite /visit her next time.
I can understand your concerns. Myself and hubby are here at my son and DIls house on vacation for around 3 months in california. We can clearly see the amount of additional expenses that they have to incur due to our stay , whether it be on food, especially eating out around once or twice a week , weekly visits to places of interest, road trips and short trips involving flights to nearby states too! Although they long for our company and are more than willing and happy to spend, it does put a burden on them. This being the case, 5 extra people visiting for a month or so , will be a drain not only financial but in all the ways u feel too. The best bet would be to ask your other sister to plan a separate visit - it will solve all the issues u have in mind. If it is already decided, u can let them know in advance what or how much u can do in terms of entertaining, arranging trips and what u expect from them.
I have an out-of-the-box idea. Conspire with your mother. Have her suddenly drop out of the trip at the last minute. Let the rest of them come. Your mother gets a 1 month break in her own home. Then, later invite mom just by herself. That will be quality time for you and a second vacation for her. I know this might not be implementable... but really wish your mother could get a break. This is a common problem. Once one or two people are coming and there is a plan all finalized, others will join like iron filings drawn toward a magnet. Trips abroad happen rarely, and making the plans is such a huge task, that people naturally want to pile on to a well organized trip already happening.
