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On Acknowledgement

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Rihana, Apr 2, 2019.

  1. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    On Acknowledgement


    Postman Gopalnath sometimes disappointed us by having only one piece of post to deliver. To bored children on summer vacation who had exhausted all the Amar Chitra Katha’s, Chandamama’s and Tinkle’s, that was like Santa delivering a Wren & Martin or an unabridged Merriam-Webster. One day, that one piece that Gopalnath delivered was accorded a royal welcome worthy of a warrior returning with victorious tidings. The misleadingly small card was an Acknowledgement Due card that came back to the sender, informing us that the intended had received whatever was sent.

    We crowded around the A.D. card and examined the recipient’s signature and date received. There was something so full-circle about it, so reassuring, so reaffirming to see a familiar handwriting and recipient's signature telling you that something was done as you directed. Not all acknowledgements in life can be thus arranged. Sometimes we crave an acknowledgement that has to come of its own volition. This post is about that acknowledgement -- the acceptance or recognition of another’s effort, toil, challenge or hurt feelings.

    The young child with a lot of homework to complete, gazing discouragingly at the pile of books, wants an acknowledgement from parents that his afternoon is ruined, school is an arduous obligation, and life is temporarily difficult. A light-hearted acknowledgement of his burden helps more than the most solemn lecture on the importance of education.

    You would think a stay-at-home-mom’s deepest dream is a fairy who will do all the chores. No. A sincere acknowledgement of how difficult her day can get and how endless her to-do’s can be is what she craves. Wise is the man who learns this soon enough in married life. I am not saying that just words are sufficient, the man can acknowledge and proceed to plonk himself down on the sofa to switch on the T.V., but the words are needed.

    As parents we share our fears, thoughts, and worries with other parents. Sometimes, we only want an acknowledgement that what we are going through is tough, tough, tough. A friend who can figure out when you only want an acknowledgement of your latest parenting woe and when you are looking for detailed how-to’s is a treasure.

    We often read here about the adult child who well into her 30’s and 40’s is not able to get over unfair treatment from parents. As we dole out advice and suggestions for her to deal with it, slowly it comes out that she is looking for something so simple as an acknowledgement from mom or dad that her angst is valid.

    The people who so desperately seek an acknowledgement often do not want any compensation or grand acts of reparation. But the acknowledgement often eludes them. Maybe acknowledgement is like happiness, which a popular quote says is like a butterfly: “When pursued, happiness is always just beyond your grasp, but if you sit down quietly, it might alight on you.

    Sometimes I think, what if there was a mobile app for acknowledgements? People could enter into it the acknowledgements they are looking for and could submit acknowledgements to others. I know, I know… it is a crazy idea and about as gratifying as receiving a gift after you spent hours setting up a gift-registry. But still, there are some acknowledgments that would be gratifying to receive and some a relief to deliver.
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  2. GeetaKashyap

    GeetaKashyap IL Hall of Fame

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    Rihana you have highlighted one of the most underated emotional need very well.
    Sometimes an acknowledgement can be a simple nod of head or a couple of simple words. But they have a huge power to soothe years of unrest and heal many decaying relationships. Sadly, people prefer the safety of ego to hide behind and let simple wounds to end up as untreatable gangrenes!
     
  3. jayasala42

    jayasala42 IL Hall of Fame

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    Madam Rihana,
    You have taken a great topic for discussion.Very interesting narration!
    This lack of acknowledgement has been the main cause of many a conflict at home, depression of women, suicides by young boys and girls.Just a token of appreciation will do wonders.
    Many people do not purposely acknowledge saying that doing one's own duty does not need appreciation or acknowledgement.
    I remember an instance.A messenger from some Govt Dept came to our bank to collect some cheque amounting to Rs 30,000/
    The cashier at the counter handed over the cash. The messenger took the cash without verifying .Before handing over the cash to the authorities ,he felt that what he had received was in excess.Yes,the cashier handed over three bundles instead of three packets.Instead of 3 packets he has given 30 packets.Instead of Rs30,000/he has handed over Rs 3 lakhs.The messenger promptly handed over the cash.In the evening, in our bank the cashier found
    Rs 2, 70,000 shortage.
    It was made good from Emergency fund. At about 4P. M. the currency officer reced a call from the Govt Dept requesting someone to come and collect the excess cash. After a week, the Govt Dept wrote to our bank to give a letter of appreciation to the messenger concerned to consider giving him a promotion. The brilliant people from the bank wrote to Central office in Bombay who said" It is a legal crime to possess cash not belonging oneself in his custody and punishable under IPC ---The person does not deserve any appreciation.After all he has done his duty."In fact the local manager would have given a letter of appreciation instead of referring to central office. A promotion was stalled on account of lack of acknowledgement.

    We don't find many writings in either psychology or philosophy about acknowledgement as such, and the conception of acknowledgement seems abstract and even rather vague.
    I would like to highlight another aspect of self acknowledgement.
    Acknowledgement is of paramount importance in the context of addressing wrongdoing.
    When someone acknowledges his mistake and regrets openly ,it is an important first stage in the healing of victims of wrongdoing, and a move toward their reconciliation with those who have harmed them. This is important not only in individual cases but in reconciliation conferences and avoid war like situations.

    Acknowledgement is not the same thing as knowledge, because we may know things that we do not acknowledge. A woman may know that she is short tempered and prone to yell at her children without ever acknowledging to them that she has these failings. They may know it without ever expressing it to her, and so on.

    Some people do not acknowledge that they are more than 85 and are definitely prone to illness. They talk of thinking positively and acting positively.In some sense, not acknowledging the reality itself shows the negativity in character.

    But some ,though are in a position to know, would not be willing to acknowledge. Ego is the stumbling block.
    But when a person acknowledges his/her weakness of irritable character and puts that recognition into words that the irritable behavior has really been part of him/herself,those who have been hurt by the behavior are likely to be reassured by the admission or acknowledgement.

    Acknowledging the merits in others and acknowledging one's own weakness- both done openly will definitely help bringing a strong bondage and a healthy society leading to a healthy nation.

    Jayasala 42
     
  4. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Rihana,

    you have touched on one of the most important aspects of a positive relationship. Just a small thank you, that's really kind of you - or let's leave aside words - just treating another person kindly instead of behaving as if that person's goodness is your birthright, would go such a long way in bringing together people.
     
  5. joylokhi

    joylokhi Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Rihana,
    A simple Ack Due card, yet what significance it held as u rightly said - the completeness of a transaction. Similarly, No relationship can be considered complete without the persons involved valuing and acknowledging each other. Loved the narration.
     
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  6. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:That is the operating part.
    Well done exceedingly.
    Cogency, paragraphs with raising intensity, altitude and aplomb. Hats off.
    I loved this jotting and so you deserve an acknowledgement.
    Thanks and Regards.
    God in Heavens or otherwise(!) too needs Ack as we do.
     
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  7. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    U r on dot my dear madam sister.
    Basic courtesy includes Ack which pays rich dividend later.
     
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  8. Afresh

    Afresh Gold IL'ite

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    Wow, what a piece!
    This is something that should strike a chord with most individuals here..........
    Something on the lines of "dukhti rag pe haath rakh na"....closest i think would be 'Achilles heel' of most lives craving for 'Acknowledgement"
    Might i add this is my favourite word in almost all relationship woe issues.... only if the solution was as easy as the AD

    This is something what happens honestly, when a simple letter of appreciation was one would crave!! But such is life and the struggle within facts and dreams!!
     
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  9. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    I like and love this life line of your FB.
    BY WAY OF ACK
    Hear here my thanks .
    It reminds me of my work where postal ack helped establishing the truth and bank in terms of bank guarantee effected the payment of several lacks against default of his client. The bank denied my REGD AD letter of invoking the BG WITHIN ITS VALIDITY assuming that at my end someone must have destroyed it (as per his request). I thanked personally the post man .
    Regards.
     
    Last edited: Apr 2, 2019
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  10. Agatha83

    Agatha83 IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Rihana,

    That was a brilliant piece of writing about acknowledgement, a small act of courtesy, which when implemented in daily life by everyone, could bring lots of cheer to the receiver. Many times I have helped people in banks picking up their mobile phones, passbooks or even pens which they drop in a hurry, but not a single person has acknowledged my good gesture so far.

    Even educated grown up children, when they are well settled in life, fail to acknowledge the hardships their parents have undergone to educate them, the numerous loans, the mortgages- their acts of sacrifice- they conveniently forget and say all parents do their duty, nothing special! Sadly no priority is given to human values and the entire society is to be blamed for such a degradation!

    Agatha83
     
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