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Do You Have A Will?

Discussion in 'General Discussions - USA & Canada' started by jillcastle, Jan 31, 2019.

  1. jillcastle

    jillcastle Gold IL'ite

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    Recently during a friends meet up, we were discussing the importance of having a will. So lets share...

    1. Do you have a will? When did you write it?

    2. Did you use an attorney?

    3. Did you assign a legal guardian for your minor children?

    4. What if H and W cannot agree on a specific term, like who should be the legal guardian?

    5. Is there anything else you would have to include in your will?

    Let me go first, we don't have a will. But seriously considering getting one soon.
     
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  2. jskls

    jskls IL Hall of Fame

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    In the same boat
    Target : this Summer
     
  3. peartree

    peartree Platinum IL'ite

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    I think it gave us an immense peace of mind that we had this taken care of, in spite of having to have some difficult conversations and uncomfortable topics.
     
  4. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    You need a good attorney.

    You need a will in both countries.
    Both are independent of each other. If kids are citizens make sure all guardianship/trust details are worked out in the US will.

    Minors need guardians but money can be in trusts etc so nobody gets your money from your kids.

    You need a trusted trustee in India because trust fund laws are complicated.
    You definitely need a will in India because in the absence of one the assets are divided equally between surviving parents, spouse and kids. It isn’t all going to the spouse alone. American will doesn’t count. Apparently there is a way to register it in India but after a lot of back and forth with family lawyers we decided to make two wills, one in each country. That’s what the lawyers here and there felt was the best option. Especially since US wills can be challenged in Indian courts(acc to Indian lawyer).


    If there is a conflict, I suggest you think unemotionally. We always want our siblings but - who is a citizen, who can do it, who is going to be unemotional yet vested, who has the understanding spouse etc should be questions you ask yourself. You need two people option 1 and 2. Please ask them before adding them to the will.

    Adding for Special needs parents -
    Even if one of your kids is becoming an adult soon, don’t jump the gun and make him/her the guardian for the other child. It’s a life long commitment even with special needs trust funds and fund managers. Consider giving the adult child the option in how much or how little the child wants to do. Don’t make that decision for your typical kids. Other adults, especially your siblings maybe better equipped to deal with it all until the typical sibling is at least 30 yrs old and willing and able to shoulder the responsibility.
     
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  5. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Forgot to add, your employer may have a legal service package for you with a legal plan that covers the cost of wills and trusts. We were able to hire a local special needs attorney and estate planner via our legal plan. It’s a service that a lot of employers offer. Check with your employer before paying for a lawyer.
     
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  6. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Started to feel some need for it when older one was 5 or 6. Then, I read how if no will, my suddenly-orphaned kids would go to foster care till family from India arrived and that horror hastened up the process a bit.

    Yes, used an attorney. Most big companies in the U.S. cover the cost of living trust and will prep for employees. Have to go through a certain provider.

    Legal guardian was the toughest question as we didn't have close enough friends or family in the U.S. or Canada. Chose one local friend and his wife as executor and just prayed that we will live long enough. Left the choice of kids living with this friend or moving to India unaddressed. Yes, that was not responsible of us. I put it down as in the U.S. this person will be their guardian, and in India my DH's sibling.

    We didn't have the usual tussle that most Indian couples have -- husband and wife each want their parent or sibling or cousin to be nominated as guardian. I was emphatic that my side should have nothing to do with the money and child's welfare related decisions. : )

    If H and W cannot agree, then, the will prep remains undone for years. Is the case with many of our friends.

    What else to include: will can be as simple or as comprehensive. Best is to create a simple one and make it official. Then, update later. I made sure to include detailed instructions about power of attorney, and who will make life-support removal and other end-of-life decisions for each one of us.

    Kids moving to India became ruled out for us after younger one turned 12 or 13. We were in limbo for a while. Another friend had similar situation as me. Our lawyers told us that best it to make the older one the legal guardian of the younger one as soon as he/she turns 18. I have looked at many options, and couldn't find anything better for families with no close family in the U.S. and kids moving to India not being feasible. There are some time-based checks that can be put in place so that the older one (or any one who influences older one unduly) does not usurp the younger one's share. The other option was to trust a bank or similar organization and make them in-charge...
     
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  7. poovai

    poovai Platinum IL'ite

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    True, we made use of employer legal service plan. We had a living will to begin with and later, we made it into a family trust. Even with our adult son, we have a nominee to help him out with the trust. One of my wish list noted, never wanted to be kept alive in an unconscious state and gave my legal permission.
     
  8. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    I’m curious. Kids have to get complete access to assets once they are major? Or a certain age? What are your thoughts? This is for typical kids. For special needs kids we do need the fund managers and all the other added hoopla which I won’t discuss at length.

    People are having trust funds to ensure the bacchas don’t lose inheritance over divorce and other legal proceedings. Of course, DH says if she’s foolish enough to marry a dork she deserves the loss of assets.

    Older one having guardianship of younger one with the older one’s consent or without? Isn’t 18 too young to even take care of self? What if sibling is only 8-9 yrs old when the older kid is 18?

    Random thoughts. Feel free to ignore.
     
  9. jillcastle

    jillcastle Gold IL'ite

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    Thanks a lot @Laks09 and @Rihana for the detailed reply. Helped me a lot in some of the qns I had.
     
  10. poovai

    poovai Platinum IL'ite

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    Well, it is too much for any 18 year old to handle large sum of money, like life insurance money.

    I do know a family here, went through a major turmoil when the dad's life insurance + retirement money came, unexpectedly. Mom inherited the money, mom's relatives back home, started fishing for the money; the adult kids were unaware of it for a long time and then, it took a worse turn in the history of NRIs.

    I think, we need a 2nd responsible executor to supervise / manage the flow of money, in case of an unexpected event.
     
    Last edited: Feb 2, 2019

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