Care Of Old Parents In Dysfunctional Families

,

Hi @Rihana,
Are you a psychologist? You have reasoned out the dysfunctional families accurately.

IMO, Children do not owe anything to their parents just because they were born from their womb. It depends on what influence the parent had on the child.

Personally, I do not have the will or feel the responsibility towards my parents (mainly one person). But my brother believes parents should not be left alone when they are old so he has accepted the responsibility although he is not doing it willingly.

 

Parents have right to plan for their old age/future and not leave inheritance to children. Whatever they have should be given to the people who takes care of them at the end even if that person is not blood related.

Children don't have the right to inherit parents hard earned wealth unless it is given to them.
No one forces people to have children and then complain. If they do bring children into this world they have the duty & responsibility to provide, nurture them and give them basic technical/college education so that they can become independent.

They don't have to marry their daughters or educate their children only to abuse them later. Children will find their way towards higher education. Finding their own mate is very important as it affects their entire married life.

Your friend does not have to return anything because they got her married early without educating her. Whatever parents did is by their choice and your friend is not obligated to return anything. She may have already helped her family equal to what they gave.

Now she should find a psychologist to make herself whole and completely cut off from the family for her sanity. She needs to focus on herself and her family.

 

So daughter can keep the plot and gold ... and also cut ties ... great ... if one is so unhappy with parents why should you hold onto their hard earned money ...


Even now I don’t see indian children finding their own resources for studies or marriage , still depend on parents . Times have not changed so much.

 

Yes, ofcourse

She is not holding anything from her parents; parents gave her willingly and it is hers to keep. I don't think the girl was involved in any of this and parents made the decision to give whatever they did.

She has the right to cut off when they make her life a hell. The impact of this will affect her happiness and her family. Her primary allegiance is to the man she married and the children that she brought into this world.

 

Necessity is the mother of all inventions. Unfortunately, in India, parents make the decisions for their children, many times without even asking them.

Society has changed quite a bit as inter caste marriages arranged or otherwise and divorce are accepted. Many educated girls find their own mates which will automatically gets rid of the dowry system. Children take it because parents are willing to give.

 

People want to have children to experience the joy of raising a child and many feel it gives them a purpose/satisfaction. If not, they should think twice before having a child. Everyone has the right to make the decision to have children or not. It is their prerogative to live the way that makes them happy. No one is forcing them to have children.

 

Deleted

 

You get what you put in - "Karma"
Do parents love their children? "Love is to give without expectations of any return." If one has no expectation, then he/she avoids feeling… disappointed, angry, etc.

 

Please don't selectively quote my already deleted post as it becomes a misquote ...the essence of the entire post is lost by quoting one selected line after entire post is already deleted .

 

This is a feeling of entitlement and greed to prents resources and then cutting them off because you don’t want to take responsibility


Anyway my views don’t match yours in this so I will stop here