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Facts Of Life

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by iyerviji, Jan 6, 2019.

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  1. Jan 8, 2019 #21
    iyerviji

    iyerviji IL Hall of Fame

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    Thanks for your compliments. Yes dear to run the family smoothly couple help each other. Some people might not be getting help from their husbands so they try to find fault with others
     
    iyerviji, Jan 8, 2019
    iyerviji, Jan 8, 2019
    #21
  2. Jan 9, 2019 #22
    iyerviji

    iyerviji IL Hall of Fame

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    Very true. He doesn't complain about food, but if I spend unnecessaryly will complain like today I bought the pad for the rat to be caught and he got angry He is very economic
     
    iyerviji, Jan 9, 2019
    iyerviji, Jan 9, 2019
    #22
    Amulet likes this.
  3. Jan 10, 2019 #23
    Amulet

    Amulet IL Hall of Fame

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    Frugal habits are tough to unlearn.
    He was probably privately feeling contrite for getting angry at you.
    Now I am wondering whether making Gita Iyer's Tiffin Sambar was a peace offering ? :blush:
     
    Amulet, Jan 10, 2019
    Amulet, Jan 10, 2019
    #23
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  4. Jan 10, 2019 #24
    Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    This ailment called jealousy, Viji Aunty, it has no cure. When someone asks me "Is your DH doing the cooking today also? Didn't he cook yesterday?" I say with pride "Of course! Who else will do it in his house? The neighbor?"

    Whenever someone brings it up, think about them as having the misfortune of not getting a DH who did his share around the house, supported a wife who worked and helped raise three kids. Don't take it as a negative. It's a positive. How many women in your generation can boast of such a partner? Do drishti to Uncle. Kaali nazar na lag jaaye!
     
    Laks09, Jan 10, 2019
    Laks09, Jan 10, 2019
    #24
    Thyagarajan, satchitananda, iyerviji and 1 other person like this.
  5. Jan 10, 2019 #25
    iyerviji

    iyerviji IL Hall of Fame

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    Sambhar was made in the morning and this happened in the evening. Otherwise uncle is a gem of a person but when comes to spending money he is very strict and I am just opposite
     
    iyerviji, Jan 10, 2019
    iyerviji, Jan 10, 2019
    #25
    Thyagarajan likes this.
  6. Jan 10, 2019 #26
    iyerviji

    iyerviji IL Hall of Fame

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    Wow Laks it's really a surprise to get your fb and feel very happy to receive .

    Very true I know many are jealous of us enjoying life during retired life. They see us going together everywhere and as they are not able to go as they have the responsibility of looking after children. Mamahas already got dhrshti having breathlessness and had said he can't go out of Mumbai

    Thanks for your loving message
     
    iyerviji, Jan 10, 2019
    iyerviji, Jan 10, 2019
    #26
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  7. Jan 10, 2019 #27
    beautifullife30

    beautifullife30 Platinum IL'ite

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    hello Vijima,

    Hope you are well!

    I would say ignore that female and everybody else who hurt you while trying to look like they are praising uncle! I face these issues too!

    Yes, i cant cook well. As a woman and a mom of two kids, i should by default know how to cook or that is what people expect of me. and that my house should be clean ... so clean that every time someone looks down on the floor, they should be able to comb their hair or adjust their kajal! It doesn't matter to them that i work for 12 hours a day and come back home to two tiny tots and their school work, projects, class tests in addition to cooking dinner. My family thanks their lucky stars that i even manage to cook something for dinner everyday.

    Likewise, my husband is looked at with awe every time he cooks even if it doesn't really taste good while i get shabby looks thrown my way when that dreaded sambhar has an extra pinch of salt.

    i ignore them...tune them out completely! My husband or my kids don't have a problem, why should they? Even if they do, i am not their wife or their mom, so i couldn't care less about them!

    If i am in a particularly nasty mood, i reply them with a sweet smile...'God knew i dont know cooking so he paired me up my DH but not everyone is so lucky u know .... and give a sweet smile :smilingimp:
     
    beautifullife30, Jan 10, 2019
    beautifullife30, Jan 10, 2019
    #27
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  8. Jan 12, 2019 #28
    iyerviji

    iyerviji IL Hall of Fame

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    Thanks for sharing your experience about cooking. True as long as your husband and children have no problem why worry. Glad you have an under standing husband. I can understand how it is when you are a working women as I had also worked for 38 yrs. The neighbours who were at home used to feel jealous of me because my husband used to help me. They don't understand how difficult it is to manage office and home.

    Thanks for your living feedback
     
    iyerviji, Jan 12, 2019
    iyerviji, Jan 12, 2019
    #28
  9. Jan 13, 2019 #29
    PushpavalliSrinivasan

    PushpavalliSrinivasan IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Viji,
    You did the right thing by moving away from the friend who hurt you by her stupid question. As long as our betterhalfs like and relish our cooking we don't have to bother about others and their silly questions.
    PS
     
    PushpavalliSrinivasan, Jan 13, 2019
    PushpavalliSrinivasan, Jan 13, 2019
    #29
  10. Jan 14, 2019 #30
    Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:@iyerviji
    HAPPY MAGARA SANKRANTHI. PONGALO PONGAL.
    Every one at some time confront such situation. There is no need to feel embarrassed. By sharing this incident here with us,I am sure you felt huge load off your chest.
    2. The trick to avoid or reduce the IMPACT is to ask a counter question immediately. Mrs. Iyer ought to have asked the party or the person who questioned her so with a query “ could you design jewellery bangles and or necklace or painting et al?
    3. With counter question one can greatly neutralise the situation and or the mood.
    4. A stranger but elderly person of reverence, casually asked me once what is my monthly income in front of my son. I smiled and said “enough to eat and keep the body and mind intact”. To avoid appearing Embarrassed, the old man smiledand gave me a hug. I noticed my son standing earshot behind old man appreciating my mild retort by lifting his eye brows.
    5. A stout lady of ripe age arrived to chat in the breakfast hour when my mom was watching a a tv channel airing demonstration of making some nice dish with half a dozen ingredients. She said to mom” you are not going to make these dishes. You eat frugally and porridge your break fast. You are wasting time”. Least affected mom answered her, “ when daughter in law comes knowledge of making this dish will come handy. What is the use of chatting or gossiping of neighbours.” Macabre silence prevailed.

    Thanks & Regards.
    God enjoys bhakthas counterquestions as Bhattathiri did with lord Krishna when the former composed sitting in front of lord “THE NARAYANEEYAM”.
     
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2019
    Thyagarajan, Jan 14, 2019
    Thyagarajan, Jan 14, 2019
    #30
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