My Maternal Grandma

Dear Cheeniya Sir,

Thank you for sharing your memories of your maternal grandmother. I remember you saying about your mother so much but this is the first about your grandmother. I remember Mrs. Cheeniya mentioning about your loving grandma during my visit to your home.

No matter how old grandma or you become, she wasn't going to call you by name as it is her husband's name. Chanting the Lord's name during shower has become a habit for many whether they could lock the bathroom or not. Even I sing many bhajans during my shower and those who don't know me well would think why this guy is calling the Lord while having a shower.

It pains me a lot to see grandmas in white or saffron dress with clean-shaven head even today. For some strange reason my heart breaks. But those days, what grandmas thought didn't matter much but what others perceived them mattered more.

It is interesting to know that you grandma like mine kept asking all the questions interrupting recitation of the name with the beats. I always asked my grandma why she interrupted her recitation with such questions. Later I learned that chanting the name of the Lord while performing our own duties is more holier than reciting the name in a secluded forest.

Frankly, those concoctions grandmas made would never have any side effects but cure the disease without fail. It has a placebo effect on us seeing their love.

Nowadays, our company has become laptops, desktops, smart phones, television, etc. The stories we heard from grandmas were as interesting as the programs we see on television. But their narrations were so unique and different. We are heading towards an age when most would be communicating through texts and emails unless they need to speak to an audience.

Viswa

 

Dear Cheeniya Sir,

Grandmas I tell you! They are really 'grand' human beings. Your grandma seems to be all that a grandma should be. If you are thinking of her even ow so fondly, she must have left an indelible mark but then what has age got to do with fond memories!

I am fortunate to have my paternal grandma still and the most unique thing about her is she speaks in Telugu and writes Telugu in Kannada script! Don't even get me started on the confusion we have in our family as far as language is concerned! She is super good at singing and gets excited like a child when I record her on Ipad and play it back to her. She at 94 is still a practicing Ayurveda doctor and I still call her for every sneeze and cough! And even to this day all of us (cousins/great grand children etc) vie for a place in her lap

But then grandmas have always played a significant role in my life - my maternal grandmother who passed away recently was a strong woman who has taught me the strength of silence, then there is my guru grandma (my paternal grandmother's aunt!!) who is everything in my life. The one unique things about all these three important grandmas in my life is - none of them were bound to kitchen!! They were fierce independent women making a difference to the family and the society. Grandmas got to love them!!

Thank you for sharing your memories - your writing as always brought a picture of how your grandma might have been to life and also allowing us to share our own memories.

 

@Cheeniya Sir,

You have described your grandma so well that you transported us back to those olden days! Your recall of her with such accuracy and detail says a lot about the place she occupied in your life. Widowhood is a curse and in the olden days, it must have been worse. I feel sorry for them and their plight. No one ever asked them what they felt or what they wanted! Yet these women stayed strong and braved it all; my salutations to them.

Both my grandmothers lived well past their 90s and both were remarkable women. Maybe someday in the future, I will write about them.

 

Dear Cheeniya sir,
After a long long time blog from you in snippets. To me they are not ramblings.
Grandmothers.... Why we love them so much you know... They always support grandchildren and never the parents of children. Unconditional love for grandchildren. Do not expect anything, except a little love.
Paternal grandmother I do not know but maternal grandmother I know. If we have the patience to sit with them we can learn so many life 's lessons. They are not gadgets.... Live people with all emotions!
Syamala

 

Dear Cheeniya Sir,
Your writing on'maternal grandma' moistened my eyes.In our village in every house there was one such woman, not necessarily grandmas,even young women of 20s and 30s with white madisar sarees with shaven heads.
In our joint family we had three women,my paternal grandma and two of my father's sisters who became widowed at younger age.My father's eldest sister got married at the age of 4 to a boy of eight and when she was seven, her husband-, young boy 0f 11 died.The girl was playing 'paandy' on the roadside when the sad news arrived.That athai was all in all in the house, busy like a bee, never rested for a while and she was an expert in everything-cooking, kolam,preparing thatches for roofing,,singing, kolaattam, composing songs etc,including conducting safe deliveries, though she was not fortunate to become mother.
I remember well ,the kolaatta jothra festival in Aipasi( Oct-Nov) every year. There will be several sets-girls below 5, 10, 15, young married, middle aged, above 60 and a separate group for these widows with shaven heads.
There were no electric lights.Many pandals would be erected on all the four car streets( Ratha veethis) There was a separate big pandhal on the way to kollidam river in a cross street of north car street.The kolaattam by these women would start at 9P. M. and would get extended upto 10.30 P. M. This was an opportunity to exhibit their talents. There would be hilarious songs intermitted by songs of pathos from Ramayana depicting the lamentation of Thaarai and Mandothari when their husbands passed away.Perhaps they got reminded of their husbands' death.I remember a mandapam in which they performed 'pinnal kolaattam' with the song composed by them.

No adorning,no silk sarees, no ornaments-with the same'naarmadi ( white half saffron)sarees they danced to the perfect rhythm of kolaattam with the best choreography ever known.It was a real feast to the eye.

No woman thought of remarriage.They would do all arrangements for every function ,but got isolated as inauspicious during the function.Many women were brain washed to consider themselves as'amangali' and secluded themselves.There was one mami in her thirties,Chellappa by name ,who was very efficient in doing'seer Bhakshanams .She would volunteer doing these giant sized murukkus with complicated geometric design.She was an expert in adorning the bride, adorning Varalakshmi Amman and was very good in Thanjavur painting.Her hands did everything auspicious .She was always behind the screen, her form being treated as inauspicious.They were thrown like curry leaves spreading aroma to the sambar but discarded while eating.What a pathetic plight!

jayasala 42