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A Lady Avoided Conversation - As I'm On H4

Discussion in 'H4 Indian Ladies' started by Vedhavalli, Jun 10, 2018.

  1. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi all,
    Been to a birthday party of my LO friend, 60% Desi crowd, a Desi lady mom of my kiddo friend, asked where do I work.
    I said I'm on H4 , next moment I didn't see her, she started talking with another lady asking same question.
    I feel weird, this is not the first time where Desi ladies avoid if on H4 or passing comments like you have lot of time for your child, what you do whole day?
    Though I have a full schedule of the day.
    I learn new things...
    My kiddo is much more well behaved than peers, whom I see always on phone, iPad, junk food.
    I really don't want to reply rude to them.
    Thinking how to reply.
    Thanks
     
    VinuthaS likes this.
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  2. mangaii

    mangaii Finest Post Winner

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    You didn't see her after that . What makes you think that your status made her run away ?
    You need to make new friends. Looks like you hang out with one of the worst Desi crowds in US.

    And also please never judge other kids. You don't like people judging you. No parent is better than other parent. We all try to do our best in a given situation.
     
  3. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Platinum IL'ite

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    Yes I can see that very clearly. As soon as I said h4, she immediately vacated the place started talking with others asking same question where do you work?
    I'm not willingly comparing kids, I hear people say you have lots of time to spare with kid.. My kids don't listen always want phone/ iPad i have to give after a long a day of work, need some peace. Since you are at home you won't need such things. I'm not saint to go deaf ears for such words, though it's honey coated. I get the meaning.
    There are good friends too. I see these types often Desi crowds like balavihar, classical music, dance class.hence that question
    I can very well reply rude.. I don't want to hurt others.
     
    shravs3 likes this.
  4. Greenbay

    Greenbay Gold IL'ite

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    Tell them that you won’t be on H4 always. Once you get EAD, you also can work. Ignore comments or behavior that are intended to hurt others purposely.

    Work, status, class, heirarchy are all system people created to pit one against other to make them feel superior but humility,education,samskar(ethics) stay with you forever. You are an educated woman. You should never feel inferior against any one.
     
  5. Sangeeta85

    Sangeeta85 Gold IL'ite

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    That lady wanted to ask how to get a job here or trying to know how to handle home and work that’s y she must have asked since she was asking others too...
    Don’t take it on you.. if they say anything bad tell u r lucky one for not doing the job..

    Other kids they r going to be kids they don’t listen .. don’t judge the ppl kids ..
     
  6. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Maybe she feels you will move back to India soon anyways and no point being a friend.

    Either ways she is weird and that was rude.

    Be lucky that she is not your friend.
     
    Thyagarajan, shravs3 and Vedhavalli like this.
  7. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Platinum IL'ite

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    That was a little rude..anyways such ladies don't deserve a second thought..
    Not just H4 it happens here also..I'm living in India..recently one of my ex colleague was looking for job referrals from me ( after I left my job for personal reason, she thought I had joined other company but I was on a career break ).. After general enquiry, she asked me where I'm working, When I mentioned I'm not working, she just stopped replying to my messages..that too she was known colleague whom i used to hang out everyday in cafeteria, office events, whom I worked with for close to a year..
    If it happens with known people, in your case it's a new person.
    Just don't care.
    Be happy that u are having a well behaved child.
     
  8. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Platinum IL'ite

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    That's the good thing
     
  9. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Platinum IL'ite

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    It really hurts when people behave mean and rude. After sometime if someone geniuinely befriends we get suspicious ....
     
    Needtobestrong likes this.
  10. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Platinum IL'ite

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    She is already working, indeed lucky to have break from work. What hurts me is I was with top with one of fortune 50 mncs not in service based company or consultancy contractor... I'm not judging others kids, in the party something happened where most kids threw tantrums but my kid handled well.
    I could hear other moms saying...
     

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