Return To India Causing Disagreement

I think if her husband has issue with boss, then he can try looking for new company in Germany itself. But as you are saying it's very lucrative one of a kind job opportunity in India( where he gets to lead) , I feel he can't replace that in Germany.
On the other hand, the benefits your friend has is not so specific and may be replaceable in India- work from home, day cares/maids/relatives to help. So it is matter of trying and waiting, but not that she can't get in India. Also, after Germany work ex, it may be easy to find good job and many option in India.

 

She can talk to her husband about the benefits of living in Germany itself

Open talk can help.

 

If all that she is nervous about is the future blame at every little misfortune, then she ought to chalk it up to her fate for living with an idiot who does not know what makes a happy home: A happy wife and mum. And put her foot down, and stay in Germany.

In a few years, when the children are semi-independent, and she is financially secure in Germany, if the idiot still keeps on harping about long-gone missed opportunity, kick him out of her life; he does not deserve her.

 

Devoted husbands plan surprise birthday parties for wife and kids. NOT a surprise relocation.
Happy couples discuss life plans, and long-range schemes for themselves and children. Working out kinks at work, kissing boss' ass when necessary, to have stable employment where their lives are happier is also part of the long range planning. It appears that your friend had that India-job offer thrown at her totally unexpectedly. If they are a happy couple now, this sort of behavior from the husband would soon make that NOT SO.
Feel free to copy-transmit our discussion thread to your friend.

 

Op, Your friend's husband cant spring the sudden news of a lucrative offer on his family on a spur. Families plan everything from job to vacation to savings , you name it its planned with everybody.You don't just springs surprises. Moving to India or abroad is a major decision. It cant be taken in a lighter tone. The husband shud have discussed about putting his application in before actually doing it. He went and did it secretly says a lot about the dynamics.
Your friend is in a good job, the kids are well settled. They have an apartment there. Suddenly the husband comes up with he is having trouble with his present boss. It seems all too convenient. If he really wanted , he cud have applied for jobs as back up there itself where he lives. Why the Indian job?

The point is the husband wants to move to India and wants his family to comply even if sprung on them suddenly. Your friend shud put her foot down and say she wont do it as she is secure in her job and kids are happy.The husband needs to man up and look at bigger picture of family rather than being selfish and look at his own self. Good Luck.

 

What are the options if the husband has a fallout with his boss in India ? Move to another country?
Not getting along with his boss is such a flimsy reason to uproot his family from one country to another and jeopardize his wife's career . This needs to be a joint well thought out decision , not something that the husband suddenly decides to spring on the wife .

 

Receiving an interview call n getting an offer letter are two different things.

Ask him to attend the interview n IF he gets an offer letter, then discuss the pros n cons n decide. What's the point of all this wasted energy if the interview isn't successful?

Issue with a boss - it can happen anywhere. What's the guarantee that the indian boss is gona be a saint? In fact the bosses are known to be tougher in India. Is he gona run back then ?

Few options:
He can look for another job in Germany itself.

If he does get this job, he can probably travel alone first n try it out. They anyway have a house n she has a job in Germany, should be easier to manage for a while.

Then decide if she wants to move to india, get a job, hire help.

If they can move from Germany to india, they can move again from india to Germany. So maybe she can see it as a few years thing, either the whole family moves or jus being away from the hubby.

But attending the interview will be the smart move to save your friend from 'life long blaming' (as per your post).

 

OP, what is their legal status in Germany? If they are citizens, they are going to lose their status if they stay out of the country for an extended period of time.

Is this change of heart in husband about Germany purely based out of disagreements with the boss? I highly doubt it. No man in his right senses is going to uproot the family because of change of situations at work. Your friend is not giving you a complete picture.

He is the father of the children. Surely he has best interests in his mind. Is this job really lucrative enough to sustain the same life style that they have in Germany? If the answer to all these are positive, then why is your friend not even considering it?

My cousin back home has a full time maid, kids go to private schools, she gets to do her job in India too, they live in a very good location. So, going back home isn’t really a bad thing. Is she refusing to go purely because she has settled down here? There is nothing wrong if that’s the case but let’s not call it as “it will be good for kids”.

Ask her to keep an open mind about this and the look at both sides before shooting his plans down. At least this is what i would do if one of us want to go back.