Guilt To Initiate Divorce

@justanothergirl can you comment ... Especially on the cycle of behavior that abusers exhibit.

 

Hi Bhumibabe,

I am sorry for what you are going through.. It is indeed a tough spot.

Seems like you both have different personalities / expectations and it is clearly related to differences in upbringing..i can totally see both your point of views.. How was he before marriage, your courtship period? Did you get a glimpse of his true character? Based on your description, he seems to be on edge and in turn this pushes him to reinforce his supremacy in the marriage as a man.. is it possible for you both to take some time alone and go somewhere and have a heart to heart talk without getting angry or blaming each other.. I am an outsider looking at this problem from what you describe and feel like there maybe a solution for a happier life if he were to understand you better.. I feel like he does but doesnt want to accept it..

Do take your time before you take your decision, and let him know..some people need to feel and know what it would be like to lose someone to start recognizing their vaue in their life..consider a trial separation, but let him know that you are unhappy..dont keep him in the dark, that might be devastating and make him more guilty, thinking he could have worked better to save this marriage, had he known.
Hope you find the best solution that makes you and your son's life happy.

 

Op, ur husband feeling inferior is a personality issue. Can u try improving his self esteem or soft skill training can help.since u empathise with him , try motivating him to take personality development classes. But if he is abusing you in any form like emotionally or verbally , I think u need to take a small seperation as suggested by others too and see how it goes and if he changes for the better .

 

Op, I can tell u one thing , talk to ur husband openly and ask him what he can do to bring happiness in both of ur lives and ur child's too. U too give ur opinions to bring a happy life. Brain storming session will help. Since now he realises that he has to make the marriage work, I think he will take steps too .

 

I think he is still in 1980s where all this would have happened. Its high time he realises that high form of respect to the head if the family is replaced by mutual respect between spouse.Somewhere there is little immaturity in him.

 

I know a guy who is well known in the society and helps people and love his wife dearly but the word he uses to his wife is a complete surrender to him then she will be happy in the life.
Somehow women are evolved in life and their roles in marriages and you being born in America, you don't need a marriage to feed you.You need a marriage to have a soul mate.If I were you, I would have adjusted in the marriage based on my situation and from where I come from and my background.Your background and your situation are not calling you for adjustment and it's calling to fight for your happiness.You don't need to feel any guilt for it.