How To Deal This Problem With In-laws?

True. After marriage only every husband will show their true feelings out but wife will be the same and frank from engagement to marriage and after.

 

Dear Op,

After reading ur posts, I would suggest,

Start speaking loudly (increase ur voice volume)

People get scared of ones who are loud whenever ur husband threats u for divorce, ur in laws try to dominate or control u.

Ensure all the neighborhood people hear all the communications clearly (ur in laws, ur husband).

I guess ur problem will be resolved.

PS: Don't use any disrespect words or language in ur communication, ur voice should be clear and composed.

 

True that! When you talk louder, impact is higher. You show that you can't be taken on a ride. If you be submissive, higher the chances of getting exploited. Tell your husband to send divorce notice if he threatens you again. In all likelihood he will not considering that they are image conscious in the society. Get a job. If required don't tell anyone about you looking for job till you join. You will be more confident when you are working.. all the best!

 

Never trust boys whatever they say on phone or alone to us ,they really don't mean it. They will tell you my family is broad minded..how much is as per their wish.....

Sweet spoken person and equal rights is just in alone and on phone.
They lie at two places once ...to girl and to their family.

 

Very much true, all broad mindedness, equality is only for their son, daughter and relatives, where as for DIL and her family (taken for granted bonded, free of cost slaves), picture is just reverse.

 

Hi OP,

Start applying for jobs that match your qualifications .. dont discuss or ask permission from your husband or in laws before doing this.. After you decide on a job then you can pass on that information. As other suggested, make sure your tone conveys that.. I am going to be joining this job starting next month, thats it.. no more discussion or negotiation..stop fretting over the small things until then, and make compromises on the smaller things to achieve something big, as getting back your financial independence..once you find a nice job, may be these smaller things wont bother you so much ir you would find the confidence to confront them.

 

The whole family seemed to be dead set on controlling you. Though I agree with the fact that things are different from one family to another n there will be adjustments. But it should also be mutual among every one n not like slave driving.

One of my friend went through something similar. As a newly wed, the hubby n in laws put her through hell even for food.
Threatening her with divorce n controlling her every move.

Obviously, all hell broke loose one day. Mother in law asked her to get out of the house. Husband asked her to go to her mom's house. She refused n stayed at a ladies hostel n made him pay for it till her husband got a new house saying she's married thus it's his responsibility to care.

N during this period, she also asked him to send a divorce notice since he kept threatening, give back all the money spent n dowry given to them during the wedding. N that since it was an arranged marriage, she said she will take it up with everyone in the relatives circle, like she will call their relatives n tell them about what they are doing. N yes, she got louder like another member posted.

The family slowly started backing off n got scared of her, n let them be.

You must get a good job despite their opposition as they are doing it as a means to control you which is wrong. N that will give you a better life.

 

U have to start taking effort to make ur marriage happy. I hope senior ilites help u to deal. I think ur husband needs counselling by elders he respect or professional.