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Financial Details Between Married Couple

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by bruised234, Apr 19, 2017.

  1. bruised234

    bruised234 Gold IL'ite

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    Just out of curiosity I am asking, how many couples keep their financial details open between themselves in a marriage? Is it normal for husbands to hide all their details - any bank statements, account details from the wife?
     
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  2. silentlistener

    silentlistener Silver IL'ite

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    One partner intentionally choosing to hide financial details and transactions from the knowledge of the other is abnormal.

    Clearly abnormal
     
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  3. joylokhi

    joylokhi Platinum IL'ite

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    @bruised234
    Ideally there should be nothing to hide in financial matters between both partners. This works very well where one partner does not try to impose/control their views on what is to be spent by the other . However, personally, I have found it convenient to just give a broad idea of my personal bank account without actually having to show the actual balance at any time. After handing over my share for household expenses, (As i was working) I had my own savings which i used again finally for our joint house property etc. Ultimately i had the freedom to spend for the regular stream of gifts for various occasions for friends and family etc without having to explain on each occasion.
    I feel one partner begins to hide such details mainly when one is not secure in the knowledge that the other would not raise issues over the dealings!
     
  4. bruised234

    bruised234 Gold IL'ite

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    never mind
     
  5. Anusowmyan

    Anusowmyan Gold IL'ite

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    both of them can have two separate accounts, if not interested in joint accounts, have your own ideas in investments & follow it too, but debit & credit details should be known to each other. being aware about what's going on ,is more helpful in many ways.
     
  6. shri0218

    shri0218 Silver IL'ite

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    Intentionally hiding is not ok..be it the husband or the wife..yes they can have separate accounts..but the transactions and overall available balance should be known to each other..
     
  7. BhumiBabe

    BhumiBabe Platinum IL'ite

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    I think between partners, there should be transparency, because that's the only way that you can cultivate trust. At the same time, you need to keep yourself safe, and have some secret savings. I have one (and it's mostly because of my grandmother's advice). I was pretty open with my account early in my marriage, but when my husband started taking away our joint credit card, and tried other stupid financial blackmailing to get his way, I realized that I had to maintain my own accounts. I give him money when it's a family expense (mortgage, utilities, groceries, etc.) or it's needed, but I don't disclose my savings. This give me the freedom to buy decent clothes and get gifts for family and friends as necessary (weddings, baby showers, etc.)

    Some people are just very paranoid with their money, but I think it stems from insecurity about survival or that the other person could possibly take advantage of them. I know that's why I keep my finances hidden.
     
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  8. bruised234

    bruised234 Gold IL'ite

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    You couldn't have summed it up better. I don't understand why we women need to justify petty/necessary expenses while men can get away with enough financial stupidities. I wonder who said men and women are equal, obviously women have a higher threshold for tolerating s***. Wanting to keep some money for self is a big sin, throwing it away intelligently is not a crime.
     
  9. peet1983

    peet1983 Silver IL'ite

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    For a healthy financial life both partner should aware of the everything, debts,credits,savings and even bank password. To add one more layer top of it , both should know primary email account user name and password as well as mobile lock password.

    The reason why I said so , if in case of any sad dismiss of any one, life will be stuck without all these details.
     
  10. bruised234

    bruised234 Gold IL'ite

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    If the person who is hiding had that much intelligence and trust in the spouse, there would be no problem to begin with. Too busy, self-contained with themselves to even think of such a possibility.
     
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