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Husband Having Ema Affair And I'm Feeling Suicidal

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by LD1234, Jan 20, 2017.

  1. LD1234

    LD1234 Senior IL'ite

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    Hi everyone,
    As I'm new here lil intro about me I'm 25y.o woman married since 3years I have 1.9 year old baby girl.. it all started from the beginning of marriage days. My husband was taking care of me very well even though ours was Arranged marriage.. one day I was browsing his laptop and saw his few photos with a girl being so close and asked who it is he said his cousin n lied later I got to know it's his ex and there about to get married and that girl use to come my husband bachelor room and stay for days due to some reasons she left n all.. when i questioned him he throwed laptop and shouted as if it's my fault.. later he beat me also I couldn't say this to my parents cause they can't bear it was just 3 months since I'm married they have lots of dream in me, later after this incident he acted so polite n calm apologised me fell on my feet.. everything was normal later he asked me to give jewellery saying his bills r stuck so he'll pledge the jewellery for now n shall release later. I got convinced and that's it one after the other like that he took everything even my mangalya chain.. I have nothing.. I got pregnant and went to parents home and they got to know about all these and were scolding. When my dd was 13days old he was just troubling me to ask my dad for their house document because he wanted to pledge it and take loan I refused.. he slapped me and went black mailing he'll die.. I felt very bad and committed suicide and my mom saw me gagging for air and took me to hospital from then my dad don't talk to me.. it's same even now whenever he needs money I'm his queen.. or else I'm just a fun material to tease about my body personality my family..my in laws had never even come to see my daughter also.. I got abused, hurted, every time I ask something he will beat me and throws everything that's in home once he throwed Tv from 3floors.. I'm educated and girl with sense I can't talk to neighbours also because of this shame he pulls me out of home and asks me to go out n die in my parents home.. whatever ge do I'll just cry and cry and cry.. and sleep always to forget.. he never sits with me for a talk or at least won't call to ask hows baby doing.. in fact he won't take the kid to hospital also.. each n every rupees I spend us given by my mom.. if i call him he'll say he's busy and won't talk, if I talk when he come home he'll say he s busy and will talk later.. when I talk during dinner he'll throw D plate n abuse in bad words always points wrong in me don't deserve at least a min in his life, he calls his ex talks for hours and meet her also that woman is such a shameless, she have family husband is good earning person.. but always goes around with my husband.. when I got them in call recording I just shouted at my husband and went to toilet and crying and shower he just broke the door and beat me he had put us leg on my neck saying die who r u to check my phone I'll do whatever I want because of u I lost peace vaibhava was right u r bit** and all.. that moment I felt god take my breathe away.. I'm not able to do anything I can't die I have a daughter, I can't go to my parents n say Al these cause my dad health is not good. I feel like going far from everyone n live with my baby.. my love have no value.. I loved him.. he used me.. it's really would b better if I die in sleep.. I can't take this torture
     
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  2. DDream

    DDream Finest Post Winner

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    OP, hugs to you. Dont think about any suicide. Instead think about a beautiful life with your DD. Look like you have a very abusive ML. Try to be financially independent and get out of this life. Try to get evidence of your husbands EMA. Cheaters will be always cheaters. Think about living separate. There is no point in hiding the truth from your parents or parents of DH. Dont protect your husband with EMA. Talk to everyone and let every one know. Try to escape. You are too young. If you dont take a right decision, you will end up in trouble. Escape. If you have a close friend whom you believe, try to vent. It will help you.

    Dont take a decision when you are worried/angry /stressed out. Calm down, assess everything and ask yourself...Do you want to continue. Is this the life you like to have for your daughter. I am your you will come up with the right decision.
     
    Last edited: Jan 21, 2017
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  3. jillcastle

    jillcastle Gold IL'ite

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    Why would you create a user id with your real name and also upload your profile picture and then post a personal question? I would urge you to change your DP first and edit any information that may give away your identity.

    I am sorry for what you are going thru, I don't have advice to give, just wanted to alert you on your privacy. This may cause problems. Please be careful. Best wishes to you.
     
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  4. shri0218

    shri0218 Silver IL'ite

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    First relax..suicide is the solution to nothing. And why should be the committing it when you have done nothing wrong.

    First come out of the house if possible as you need to think calmly. Did you get back your jewels? Have you ever spoken to him regarding this kind of behavior? And what did you parents do once they came to know regarding affair?

    Don't take any rash descisions in this state of mind. If you have friends nearby ..just surround yourself with people who care. Abt tell your husband that you WILL NOT take any of the abuse any more. And tell him as if you mean business.

    Again don't ever think of killing yourself ..atleast for you kid. Hope things get better soon.
     
  5. Rachu123

    Rachu123 Bronze IL'ite

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    oh dear, I can feel the pain, stress you are going through as I myself going through and went through same though I am very independent. I see improvement in my strength to handle such things and I am sure you will too.
    You have really landed in wonderful website for advice and suggestion here you get will make miracle.
    oh, wish I could meet you and console you.
    Ok, first do not ever think of suicide even in your dream. Think about your daughter dear. what she has done to go through all pain. Please do not take any harsh steps. If you harm yourself, only your daughter and parents going to suffer throughout their life. Not the one who really brought you to this situation.
    try to take each and every proof of harassment he is doing without his knowledge. Take a picture of everything like things he breaks, conversation he does with other lady, loan proof everything.
    Such people will be very clever in front of others and they act very good.
    Get a job. Small or big get a job. Have all emergency helpline number handy in your mobile. next time when he harass or hurt you call the number immediately and show them all proofs you have.
    I know dear we should have lots of courage to do all these and somehow we should gain it.
    Keep praying god and for sure he will make you strong.
    You have to be strong for you and your daughter.
     
  6. sumzaya

    sumzaya Gold IL'ite

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    U r educated.. try finding a job... Stand on your feet... Woman r not entitled to suffer torture from any1.Think 4 a second... think abt ur mom n dad . their love and affection. U r trying to help ur husband by going from his life forever and thus he will enjoy his life...
    No thts not revenge... Get a peaceful life , run away from him.. show him u can live ur own life without any1 s help happily... and show him the power of a woman ...
     
  7. LD1234

    LD1234 Senior IL'ite

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    Thanks for the reply dear.. it means a lot at this state of mind.. ya I know death is not a answer.. I want my daughter's life to b good.. my dad recently had a bypass surgery I don't want to let them know and my in laws they'll say it might be my mistake and their son is a gem.. he didn't get anything back I mean jewellery.. simple solution for this I know is avoiding him.. but I'm not able to do that I can't b without talking to him no matter what I just love him.. I dunno how I make him understand my love to him I am really tired of being ignored I don't have any circle around me cause I feel so depressed I just want to b alone.. I feel like I'm a trash bin :) I'm used to this
     
  8. LD1234

    LD1234 Senior IL'ite

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    Thanks for the reply, but I have no support where do I go holding a baby ?? At the same time not able to stay with all the things that's going on. I don't want my daughter to suffer.. I'm scared my baby would grow up like her dad.. god should know my situation . There is no single day without a tear.. the women behind this is making him to behave but I dunno what makes him man trashing his own family.. I want to talk to that woman.. meet her family but I'm not dared enough she again myt bring the worse situations.. I dunno why I'm getting so weak each n every day..
     
  9. LD1234

    LD1234 Senior IL'ite

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    But what u said is true I want him to feel absence of my presence, I always used to beg him to spend time, hereafter I won't give even a second of time for him he don't deserve.. if I'm not going against today tomorrow my daughter would end giving up somewhere..
     
  10. jj324

    jj324 New IL'ite

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    ohh dear you are such a brave person. You replied to my question when you are going through so much of trouble.Please dont ever think of suicide. Think about the beautiful life you have ahead with your little angel. Dont take any decision in such stress. Calm yourself down .Be open to your parents .Tell them everything .I am sure they will support you .If possible go for some professional help. I just feel like punch your husband in face so hard .Is he a human being ? Pressing your neck with his leg.This man is worth nothing.Just go away and be independent.
    I wish you all the happiness in life.
     
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