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Family Abandoning The Infant

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous in Parenting' started by sanjuruby3, Dec 29, 2016.

  1. sanjuruby3

    sanjuruby3 Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi,
    I am very upset as I write this post at some action of my knowns far relatives. Of course I do not know the details yet.
    Thats very nice and affluential family. They are rich and religious people. Now they had first son married and wife got pregnant immediately and sick because of pregnancy. She had lot of complications and was on bed just after first few months. Baby could not be aborted at that stage and pregnancy worsened her condition. Probably her body could not keep up with pregnancy needs. Her condition got uncontrollable so baby was delivered prematurely and she died.
    So baby went to NICU. Now after months in the city hospital, they left baby in NICE and wrapped up went back to their native places. After doing funeral/rituals they are not with baby. With in 1 day, they decided they will put baby to adoption.

    I was shocked at their decision.
    Its only a day and boy himself said he does not want to keep the baby and ready for next phase. I know boy is young and has to move on and it will be complicated finding new wife and adjusting as step mom but come on. Inspite of all this, this is your child, your blood.
    When mother broke out pregnancy news, all must have been happy and connect emotionally to first grandchild.
    Later mother got sick and they all must have got overwhelmed with care, chores and all that running around. Against all the odds, baby made the way out to the world.

    Sometimes people can not keep the baby for financial conditions and sometimes legality of child. They are rich people. You have full family to take care of baby. Seems that do not want to any emotional bonding so no one is with infant. Even girls parents (mom's parents) who loved their only daughter so much are not taking the child. They are thinking they might not be right home for infant but someone orphanage will be or some needy parent ( who they would not know who what kind will be)
    What kind of people are these?
     
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  2. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    The kind of people who give up babies to adoption. Then, those looking for babies to adopt can adopt them.

    Decisions to adopt, not adopt, or to give up a child for adoption are very personal and it is hard to say anything about such decisions.
     
  3. viki123

    viki123 Silver IL'ite

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    @sanjuruby3

    As @Rihana said this completely personal we never know what all they had to go through. But your post reminded me of a book "Where We Belong: by Emily Giffin" that deals with a similar subject.


     
  4. dimhere

    dimhere Gold IL'ite

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    Well, instead of growing up in a house where his/her presence is not fully welcome, I really prefer this.

    Hope the little one finds a happy home, where some set of longing parents receive him/her with grateful hands, and treat babies like the blessings they are.
     
    Naari, sindmani, NeetaR and 3 others like this.
  5. Rakhii

    Rakhii Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    Sanju, I think its a personal choice and its probably a well thought decision. I think money doesnt come into picture at all here.
     
    sindmani likes this.
  6. DDream

    DDream Finest Post Winner

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    Sad story. May be the baby has some health issues. As the baby was delivered prematurely,anything (bad) is possible.
     
  7. beautifullife30

    beautifullife30 Platinum IL'ite

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    OP,

    I know everyone says the choice is personal. Had i been in that place i wouldn't have agreed for placing the baby in foster care.

    But as such, it happened. Hope the baby stays safe and is adopted by a good family.

    My prayers for the baby!
     
    Lathasv likes this.
  8. Meet9

    Meet9 Silver IL'ite

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    As I am writing this, I am praying with full heart and devotion for the well-being of the infant. PLEASE GOD stop giving babies to undeserving people, there are million moms in this world desperate to get pregnant or adopt..adoption process everywhere is very tedious and time consuming, I hope that this child gets the BEST.

    Its a sad story but I always believe in GOD, every child comes with a destiny...God has incredible way of surprising us with miracles...you never know how good this child's life turn out..esp when mom has passed away, those kids always have mothers blessings and God's hand on them. No one can do any harm on child when God is with the child.

    let's just pray..
     
    dc24 likes this.
  9. sanjuruby3

    sanjuruby3 Platinum IL'ite

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    Child has been in NICU with no one around, only some appointed person to fetch things docs ask for. Everyone is back to their homes after mother died.
    If you are giving away kid of disability, that is even worse. Money is not the issue, I understand. Child care is not easy, I understand.
    I heard say it may be GIRL thing too.They leaving kid because its girl kid which hurts me more more and it if were a boy, probably they not ( not sure if same reason)

    I feel mother who went through all these difficulties and died in the process, her soul must be restless that her child is not accepted by her parents and in laws and been sent to foster. Seems some of their relatives offered adoption but they have own biological kids so that makes the whole arrangement very difficult ..you know what I mean. Child may not get justice in that case.

    I just prey for that little girl to be healthy and she finds her (new) mom soon. My mind is upset thinking she still in NICU and none other than nurses would have carried her. :-((((
     
  10. dc24

    dc24 Gold IL'ite

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    Even i was thinking on the similar lines...the baby's mother's soul must be crying in the other world seeing her LO condition.
    May God bless the baby with loving adoptive parents where she'll welcomed with hugs and kisses and warmth. May God bless her with a family where she's cherished and not considered a burden. May God bless the baby with long and healthy life.
    Blessings to you Little Angel!!!
     
    sindmani likes this.

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