How Do You Cope With Feeling Expendable?

It makes no sense to rehash everything again after attempting to send a message seeking help and trying to discuss it in person with no response. Don't even worry about her grievance with you if she thinks that it is not worth discussing it with you.

You were in contact with a blanket worm, you had some unbearable allergy, you found some home remedies to cure and you are back to your normal self, should be the approach.

You have made an investment hoping to hold it long, you were hit with a press release that brought the investment into penny, forget the investment and move on with something that would help you recover from the bad investment.

Viswa

 

Hmm which one is that, send me the link, prolly havent spent time reading forums (good on me lol). I meant the varun saree thread, i can place bet money that its a troll, damn sure

 

Sorry... Just saw this thread.

I am considered as a best friend to many - men and women. They share almost everything concerning to their personal life with me. Always get my opinion, and depend on my suggestions when it comes to their personal life matters. I know they treat me special, thus I consider all of them as my best buddies.
I like them, love them and truly care for them. But for me, they are not the kind of friend I am searching for.
I never feel the need or even the urge to share the most important, secretive or even personal things with them at all.
They always get to know the most funnier messages, common things and the gossips from me. Nothing more than that. But when they share, I truly stretch out to help them beyond and above my ability.

I am kind of a reserved person. Except me, no one knows this. Because they all see me with friends, and close buddies almost all the time, right?

I relate to you so much here. Self guarded and self protection when it comes to outsiders is kind personality. The only friend I still cherish as mine is my husband. He used to be my best friend before marriage. Ever since we started our friendship, I could share almost everything with him. Although he proved many times to be a worthless person to my trust and love in the past. Yet, I still depend on him, and somehow made him as a trustworthy, dependable and a friendly husband.
So, I have someone to depend on.. Share everything, and let my frustrations out. This helps a lot.

In your case, I read somewhere that you hide your emotions from your husband. You are truly upset about this matter. Feeling sad, and crying in the bathroom. Hence you appear with red eyes and sniffing nose. Yet, your husband knows nothing about your inner bothering. You feel it is too small or worthless to share with him. That's where the gap exist.

Had you been sharing/venting out this with your hubby, you won't feel heavy like this. Had you been depending on him emotionally instead of this friend, you won't feel the loss.

This is why I invest so much and almost all my emotions in to the family.

Friendship - It is for fun.. help, sharing etc... but as you said, I share only the filtered/guarded me with my friends. So, I never expect them to treat me as a priority.

 

Sorry for that misunderstanding...
Pick up from his last word "relax". Tell him that you need him for the relaxation.
Sit with him, speak your heart out. Cry and show all your frustration to him. From your last post, it is clear that you have a great husband.
So, vent out everything to him.
Don't think it is not fair to share your emotions with your better half.

In fact, losing a friend and such things may seem silly for many. But not for you. That's why you are upset. That's why you are still shedding some tears. It is a huge deal for you.

Speak to him.... you will be alright.

 

Just few last words G ji. You don't have to make decisions right now, not at the heat of the moment, not when you are being 'not so you'. Give yourself time to calm down. When your rational self is back again, think thorough and thennn you make your choice, to let go or if its all worth fixing. There be a day too, when you might even feel glad you 'tried' today!

Yes, for now. when its indeed right time, you ll know what to do I hope. TC

 

Gauri, I have been there countless times. I have got so used to it that I stopped investing my emotions with anyone other than my immediate family. I have had friends/relatives ditch me, dump me, use me and what not all the time. My only conclusion is that it all depends on what situations and circumstances one has been exposed to that program one's persona. If we have been programmed to love someone unconditionally and expect the same back, the other person might have been programmed to be showered with love, to be careless and to move on when there is a calling elsewhere. Bottomline is, there is nothing wrong with you.

It did take me quite some time to get over everytime I was faced with a situation like that. I would spend days together ruminating until I can take no longer.. and eventually move on.. As is said time is the best healer. I would however definitely attempt clarifying stuff a couple times, just in case. I think you have done that already.

Good luck dear, this friend of yours was never meant to be. You deserve better.

 

You..desperately need that song. go deep in the lyrics.I just listened to it and verified. yet again.
IMAO taking any more friendly steps is big NO.
Go and fire up your neurons....hug your family tighter and stay blessed with long distance friends.