What gives woman her identity?

@jskls - very thought provoking thread and interesting to read the different views..

This is a tough one for me personally......

When I was still in my formative years pre-teens, teens and really-early-twenties... My biggest single wish used to be that 'I wish I was a boy/man'. The society was and is so skewed and male dominant that a lot of things that I aspired and wanted to do, academically, professionally and personally, were methodically and systematically thwarted (in all their self-important unintended wisdom) by my immediate family. And this was injected with a lot of you-have-to-be-a-role model, you-are-the-oldest-of-3-sisters, you-dont-know-anything-about-how-the-world-works, you-have-to-be-more-responsible, and many more on these lines. I honestly and sincerely feel now that the others' fears has clipped my wings a lot, be it my own family.

But in the current stage of my life, with a husband, 2 young kids and being a stay-at-home-mom, these things dont bring up any emotion as they used to and am glad that Im a woman sometimes. Somewhere along the journey, with all its teachings, life has made me more balanced than I used to be all those years ago. It doesnt bother me that I dont earn money by going to a workplace, but am content that I have all the skills necessary to support myself and my dependants if the need arises.

Like some of the other posters have said, it is strongly linked to how others perceive us. But also, we as persons, not man not woman, as persons, need to come a full circle, learn to respect ourselves and respect everyone and everything around us. And, 'Identity' is very closely tied to self-esteem. So unless, we have respect for ourselves, the world around us will find it very hard to respect us. As we are after all vibratory beings in the grander scheme of things and pick up on each others' 'vibes'.

There was a recent forward from a cousin which goes like this:
'When you come to a point where you have no need to impress anybody,
your freedom will begin'

So in my humble opinion, that day we unbound ourselves from the shackles of being a 'man' or a 'woman' would be the day we are truly free. And it is our duty to teach our children to respect oneself and everyone so they can be truly balanced human beings and not look for an identity in being either sex.

P.S:

For all my gyaan, i take great pleasure whenever an indian is credited with something, or a woman becomes the first to achieve something, or achieves something, period. I guess it is coded deep down in my psyche. And Im working on it!! Im not perfect and Im fine with that.

 

Dear Jskls,<br>your post has made us think. Very valid questions that may arise in any woman's mind. Especially in the current scenario where woman are juggling all sorts of roles - to me, a woman's empowerment / identity would mean the self worth that she feels. And, this would have to be -being able to lead a life independently should the need arise, without being dependent on anyone for financial support. In addition to this, as Rihana put it - having emotional maturity is very important. The confidence to lead the life you believe in, at the same time making adjustments where required, will surely give a Woman her identity.<br><br><br><br>

 

:mrgreen:

 

I think every person has their own identity and beauty. Everyone being different is what is really beautiful. If we were all the same, it would be boring. I think Jayakka has answered very well your question. But I am putting forth my view.

Earlier women were happy being at home and doing their duties as a wife, mother etc. But now times have changed people expect so much from a women. Women want to be financially indpendent and not depend on anyone. Seeing the present age it is better to be independent . Now a days women are in all fields and they want to achieve success in whatever position they are. They feel very happy when they are appreciated and when children say their success is due to their mother. They feel as a mother they have achieved something,also when their husband appreciate . They have to play so many roles , though it is difficult to satisfy everyone in all roles but they are happy in the roles they play.

If Women are not independent then it is difficult when they lose their better half. In my experience I have met some women who were always dependent on their husband for everything and afte rthey lost their husband they repented for not learning earlier. So now a days it has become a must to learn everything and be independent. In some cases to support the family the women have to work , so they learn to adjust with office and home. But women sitting at home feel women working are luckier than them, but they dont understand that working women have to listen to their bosses too and do their job well, atleast at home they can somehow please their loved ones but not in office. They have to earn a good name in the office.

Now a days it has become a must to learn internet because of which they are able to keep in touch witht heir children as most of them are abroad. So even women who are sixty plus try to learn internet to keep int ouch with their children

LIke @Rihana has mentioned its the lovedones who give personal identity.

Dont know whether my answers are apt to your question

 

Dear Jskls,

A very thought provoking snippet. Viswa Sir, JayMa, VijiMa, JanSri, and a few others have contributed more meaning into this...
Kaniths : with the picture was a nice response.

I don't have anything more to add.

 

Laks,

I would think this way - by birth itself we all get an identity by the gender. It's simple as that. All the Q's you posed in my opinion attributes to traits, characteristics, behavioral pattern and so on that comes naturally, some adaptive too.

As for fear and insecurity, I believe they arise out of situations and circumstances, and are not just subjective to Women alone. How the world perceives and looks up at a Woman is different from individual. Nothing is lost as long as you have a strong will power, courage, hope and belief. Woman are the best defenders of criticism, we can handle it :-D

 

Very true.. only financial independence gives woman her identity.. if she have job and money in her hand then she will have happy life with self respect

 

Hey @jskls... Am gonna rant in your space lil bit because I feel there is some kind of confusion & misunderstanding generally... Am not sure if its at my end or not, but would like to pen down my thoughts anyway... Open to views & to correct myself if am wrong...

Identity crisis for a women is an age old dilemma, often arising due to our need to know who we are. Most times we seem to confuse this issue with what we do than focusing it on who we are, meaning our roles in the society to that of our individual characteristics which otherwise might define our unique identity or identities.

For centuries, we were never meant to have a self identity. We did not have our own goals, desires or dreams. Our social / wealth status neither our skills never mattered in once male dominated society. The one identity that was stressed upon us, as more important was being an obedient & submissive women taking care of the household / family & of course being a mother. But with changing times there is now a shift in our perspectives about our very own identities. We want to be significant, to be known, to be recognized for our work and achievements.

Not just that, most importantly we wish to be independent of our male counterparts, sustain simultaneously, also preserving our independence & identities. But like how there are different interpretations to feminism based on social and cultural environments, our identities also might not mean the same for all us, the replies in this thread are examples. Its likely to be constructed with respect to transformations in the society. But most of us try to balance our personal desires & the family / social demands, forcing us to settle down for alternate identities, ones that will embrace both traditional & modern attributes and thus arises the confusions if identities are about the roles as the definitive line has become a blur. This also makes it harder for us to break all the social conventions imposed on us by the once male dominated society, in the name of tradition & culture.

It could be the half baked feminist in me talking but in a micro level I want to identify myself as a feminist. I am daughter, will be a mother one day, a creative professional, a homemaker, but these donot define me because Identities are not about the labels attached to the kind of roles we might play in our life but our individual characteristics that might shape us or project as the confident, independent woman, that we are today.

Sorry for the essay length, but didn't I warn ya before? #StillHere? #RunKanithsRun!! :hide: