Please help my WIFE !

AnandForPals · Feb 26, 2013

We are IT professionals married for 12 yrs and 2 kids. After a bit of work/life in US, back in INDIA for last 2 yrs.

After coming back, Wife got to connect with lot of social activity which was missed abroad - like college, school reunions etc.

Last August 2012, stumbled upon her Facebook chat window on her laptop which hadnt switched off.
There was an old schoolmate from 20 yrs back, currently working in Defence in the North - whose chats did ring warning bells.

I crosschecked with my wife and she says it felt totally normal UNTIL I pointed these highlights below and now she thinks it maybe wrong.

APRIL 2012
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WIFE: u coming for 7th Apr get to gether ? SCHOOLMATE: no, my leave not enough!
WIFE: u planning <HOMETOWN> trip? SCHOOLMATE: yeah it sounds a great idea.. but the older ur get, the more complicated it gets.. my agenda is very open..dont mind coming down there..
WIFE: unleashed energy at college?.. of course, and at work too..
SCHOOLMATE: okay.. that makes it sound interesting.. it wud have been good to have caught up on 07th to review the changes that u have undergone..

JULY 7 [ NIght 11 until 2 AM]
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SCHOOLMATE: Those recent snaps - beautiful girl. but nice n plump now <petname>, trust me..
fun teasing u...for me u were always intriguingly beautiful ! breaking boys code ..really?
WIFE: not a 'poda' now .TRUST U.
SCHOOLMATE: actually accentuates ur goodness.
WIFE: u are such a nice friend. good to have u back. we are planning next wekend Blore party

JULY 19 [ Night 10:30 until 1:30 AM]
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SCHOOLMATE: intriguingly confident woman..
WIFE: u r making me laugh.. u r expert in complements
SCHOOLMATE: r u the sincere correct woman waiting to be woken up?

JULY 29 [offline message]
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SCHOOLMATE: u never bore me.. actually thats an understatement... if u can sense what it means...

JULY 30 [offline message]
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WIFE: You found play at your <WORK TOWN>? very resourceful [NOTE : The hint is at playing badminton , apparently]

AUG 5 [offline message]
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WIFE: my friends naughty baby had twinkly eyes. guess who that reminded me of?... it was you.

==================================================
SMS Summary from APRIL until AUG 2012
==================================================
SCHOOLMATE:
Do you miss these SMS as much as I do?...
Would it been easier if I tried to woo you in School?.........
u awake? (4am)
u can display ur Santoor complexion at freinds marriage ....

WIFE :
making a pass on me?.......
increases ur appeal.....

PLEASE HELP!!!!!!

amnilakshmi · Feb 26, 2013

Hey take it easy. Though it is on the higher side, i didnt feel it wrong.. Probably for a husband's point of view, it can be misunderstood.

sheztheone · Feb 26, 2013

Do you want help for yourself or for your wife?

I do not think it is right to be posting the chat transcripts here with timelines. You could have given us the picture as you see it.
Please discuss with your wife and do what you feel is best.

hrastro · Feb 26, 2013

Dont worry too much about this, trust your wife when she says it is NORMAL!!!

With distance and the internet in between people have started to lose their inhibitions and thats all this is !! If you like, you can tell her not to talk like that anymore and I'm sure she'll oblige (not because it was wrong, but because she loves you more than the enjoyment of a harmless fun flirtation )

Khanaksmom · Feb 26, 2013

You should be doing something special for her or give her compliments the way the other guy is giving.

Its been 12 yrs. Your wife is craving for attention which the other guy is giving her!! She 'could be' getting attracted.
But if you treat her like your girlfriend or something and pamper her I am sure it will be fine.

So you better get going... you have a lot of work to do!!

ShilpaMa · Feb 26, 2013

Both are flirts/ extroverts/ party goers... were not meant for marriage.... hence married to current respective partners.

I don't see alarm bells yet.... its mostly seen as FB... PDA... for long lost frndz...

Take care and dont stress urself.

Poonamk1 · Feb 26, 2013

hmmm.. it looks like this guy is flirting with ur wife.. and ur wife is appreciating it.. nothing more than that.. u can tell ur wife that u don’t like these kind of talks and friendship.. She will understand..

SGBV · Feb 26, 2013

Don't worry too much. As far as I see the lines, it is NORMAL to me.
Basically she (your wife) also needs some privacy, so please respect that

Megalife · Feb 26, 2013

Hi OP

Though from a husbands standpoint some of the polychromatic lines could have been omitted, I do not find anything alarming about the chat.....they have been schoolmates, kind of a bit jaded with life and trying to make a few ego boosting passes......nothing serious I guess!
Again, your posting these messages online was unwarranted!

Dinny · Feb 26, 2013

The schoolmate is flirting and so is your wife.
Actually she was chatting to the schoolmate way past midnight...what were you doing ??sleeping??
From what i could make out was she was enjoying the attention this schoolmate was giving her.She's attention deficient...give her your time and attention and she will forget that guy completely

BTW OP
in another thread you wrote you joined IL because it boosts of 1million Indian woman....and you were looking for friends
Just to prove my point
http://www.indusladhttp://www.indus...member-area/6463-how-did-you-come-up-561.html
i suspect this thing that you have posted is actually a TROLL