The "travails of being an Indian woman"

Reflection. Am sitting in the airport lounge furiously typing with ppl giving me the she- thinks-she's-still-a teen look.

Forgot to address the most important point in your post.

Reg god's limits and those set on you by society:

i don't know god per se. When i meet him, i'll surely ask Him/Her.

Some instances of stereostypes set on my sis by my 'well-wishers'

A woman is supposed to be heard and not seen.

Why the heck would a girl want to study mech engg/arch/civil engg?

Why should you take an edu loan for your girl to study in a private college? 5 years of study? How will 'we' find a groom?

My dad's replies.

Well-wisher, my daughter is beautiful enough to be seen and her voice is pleasant enough to be heard.

Her interest is such. She is the one going to study. Her call.

That's her problem. It's ours if we choose it to see it as a problem. We don't see it as that. *In a sarky tone* i'm sure she'll find a groom with a broom.

The well-wisher had a heart attack and had almost met god.

So, reflecting on this, who imposed unnecessary and unfair constraints on the woman? God or the well-wisher, aka society's fave moron?

 

That is the question all states worry about and roughly the mission of all judiciary. Like thieves and Police, inequality is always one step ahead of justice or equality. By human nature, there will always be exploitation, fraud, violence by the strong or the opportunistic feeding on the weak or desperate. Similarly there will always be new territory that is "wild west" and lawless like the Internet today. The laws will take time to fill the holes as they become critical. So the bad guys/inequality will always be a step or two ahead of the laws.

 

@reflection123: the nucleus of your argument is based on the 'protection" theory, which, like i mentioned earlier, i disagree with. right now, there are several rich nations in certain parts of the world that can certainly afford "protection" for their womenfolk, but still treat them like second class citizens. my take is that, every society has it's own tipping point, where the old ways are no longer valid and acceptable. where, when and how a society arrives at this critical mass is the question.

@sokasanah: thank you for the recommendations. it is certainly a fascinating topic to discuss and ponder over. children are pretty young but argumentative indians!

@steve: talk about a fluid situation!

would love to add more, but i need to be up early!

 

i think we hadn't set the limits straight in the argument . Limit of where society ends? As in thermodynamics, what is the system? For you, system is the environment. Something like a 'vasudeva kutumbam'. For me, it's way smaller than that. It's a "charity begins at home" concept. That's the difference.

 

the 'protection theory' is not the nucleus of my argument, but the 'embryo' from which this inequality arose initially. Things are changing relatively faster in richer countries where security is assured, and a good amount income is generated through "mind-intensive" kind of occupations, where women can compete better compared to the "labor intensive" jobs that were the norm in older centuries . The change in women's situation has been more rapid in last 100 years compared to the pace of change in the entire history of civilization since thousands of years. Every change takes a certain amount of time to spread its roots in any civilization. We can't notice this change so much, because we see only a "part of history & cultural change" in our limited lifetimes. And our day to day problems make us appreciate less that we have way more freedom than the women who lived just two generations before us.

 

Maybe you see the glass half empty, but I see the glass half full even in the example you gave. No matter what the "well wisher" said, your father had a clear opinion about the freedom and education he would like his daughter to have. And I am sure he is not the only one who feels so about his daughter, there are more people who feel like that..compared to the number of people who felt that way about their daughters 20 years back.
Last weekend I has a lot of assignments to submit. My DH did the laundry, dishes, ordered food...and helped me with my assignments. He stayed awake with me at night...just so that I don't feel sleepy seeing him sleeping. My DH himself works on the old laptop, but buys me the latest one in the market for me--just so that I don't feel that I have anything less than my class-mates. I see people in my life making sacrifices for me and my dreams all the time.
And I am not the only one---there are many, many women, who are not the sacrificing, but others want to do things for them. Its very, very hard for me to not appreciate the way life is changing for women. I know its not the same for everybody.....but the numbers of women, who find such support is towards the increase---and that's the best part.

 

I cannot but agree with Steve. We have a tendency to hide behind culture, traditions etc., of the hoary past and what not to 'feel proud'. The actual fact is an Indian woman has no other choice in her helplessness and so glorifies and is glorified for whatever she is doing.

Maybe the educated or shall I say the more economically independent women living in cities may be really experimenting and feel what it is to be free. But the rest of India?

Nandita

 

Surely you do not imply that as some of them have found it good, esp. people who migrated to USA and other western nations (based on the FBs here), all or most of India has these issues behind it. The increase you seem to be talking about is negligible or non-existent when you offset it to the increases in DV, dowry exploitations etc.

This site bears evidence to sorrows borne by some very smart, educated, well-to-do/(upper)middle class women. It's easy to imagine the plight of the less resourceful, less economically capable or for people with no support systems to fall back on.

 

What is the source that concludes that DV, dowry exploitationS are in increasing mode. Are we just going by the basic number of FIR's filed in the PS? Or the NCRB statistics

It is absolutely blunder to think that there is no support system to women in need in our society. Whether to opt for support or not is case specific. And definitely this site does not represent the whole of India. The picture out there could be an equal probability of success and failure. Applying the same formula every where does not work

 

Domestic violence kills more than terror strikes - Hindustan Times
Excerpt (emphasis mine):

INDIA: Domestic violence against women in India on the rise, but still hush hush | Divorce Saloon - The global 24/7 divorce news information & law blog
Excerpt (emphasis mine):

No this site represents only the educated, likely city dwelling, middle/upper middle/rich (some NRI) segments. If this is the plight here, I surmise that it's far worse for the general population.

I did not say that there are no support systems. Please re-read what I wrote.