need little bit encouragement!!

psych · Feb 9, 2012

We are going to india tomorrow. DH me and lil guy. Needless to say I am extremely nervous!!

Theres been a host of real and imaginary issues at the IL's side. Many people have been familiar with my ravings and rantings. :-(

I need little bit of encouragement and some tactics to keep away from trouble. I do not want stir any hornets nest.

There will be taunts on me about my sons upbringing, my looks, my weight etc...

Good thing its only week long but please i need some tactics to stay calm.

goal is not to get angry or irritated. keep a smiling face even if i feel like screaming....

Any tips?

mums · Feb 9, 2012

I dont know your problems related to the visit in general.

But i will just tell what i will do on visiting MIL place---

1 i try to keep my schedule busy after reaching there

2 i will keep answers ready if thy ask abt weight issues.........i will give answer which convince me as the victim among size zeroes......

3 i buy gifts to Inlaws keeping there taste in mind......

4 i will involve in cooking works.....not only mans every humans heart is through stomach!!!!!!!!

5 i will give diplomatic answer than taking sides

6 i will carry few photos of us........to keep them engaged........

err...........i m going on and on without knowing about your problem there.........

psych · Feb 9, 2012

oh no - these are great!! Keep them coming. They are valid points

2 i will keep answers ready if thy ask abt weight issues.........i will give answer which convince me as the victim among size zeroes......
can you share the ansewr i could use this

mums said: ↑

I dont know your problems related to the visit in general.

But i will just tell what i will do on visiting MIL place---

1 i try to keep my schedule busy after reaching there

2 i will keep answers ready if thy ask abt weight issues.........i will give answer which convince me as the victim among size zeroes......

3 i buy gifts to Inlaws keeping there taste in mind......

4 i will involve in cooking works.....not only mans every humans heart is through stomach!!!!!!!!

5 i will give diplomatic answer than taking sides

6 i will carry few photos of us........to keep them engaged........

err...........i m going on and on without knowing about your problem there.........
Click to expand...

mums · Feb 9, 2012

but i never got to know your particular problem during the visit.......

Priya16 · Feb 9, 2012

One thing always worked for me is I pretend I didn't hear the comments of course I don't think about there comments.I know that is normal for them and there is no point on working on stuff where you don't get any result.
SO mantra just act you didn't hear.

Don't react to anything on your son's upbringing.You aer just going to be there for a week.So it's not a big deal.
Mostly they will not say anything to you directly and they would talking to your husband and let them deal.You keep smiling.

Have a good trip.

psych · Feb 9, 2012

Issues surround SIL and her tantrums. long story :-( I do not have the mindset to talk about it again. drained out. and also i want to be in a good mood. thinking about those problems gets me depressed :-(

mums said: ↑

but i never got to know your particular problem during the visit.......
Click to expand...

psych · Feb 9, 2012

Yes Priya!! Thanks a lot. I feel better.. I wont have much time anyway..

Priya16 said: ↑

One thing always worked for me is I pretend I didn't hear the comments of course I don't think about there comments.I know that is normal for them and there is no point on working on stuff where you don't get any result.
SO mantra just act you didn't hear.

Don't react to anything on your son's upbringing.You aer just going to be there for a week.So it's not a big deal.
Mostly they will not say anything to you directly and they would talking to your husband and let them deal.You keep smiling.

Have a good trip.
Click to expand...

mums · Feb 9, 2012

psych said: ↑

Issues surround SIL and her tantrums. long story :-( I do not have the mindset to talk about it again. drained out. and also i want to be in a good mood. thinking about those problems gets me depressed :-(
Click to expand...

No no dont strain........

When we cant change people around us.......its better to be like Gandhiji s 3monkeys.

Fighting with them only puts our dignity down.

Regarding weight--------i will make sad face and tell i m doing all work out, diet but this baby fat is nt reducing......let me continue with my routine.

Dont think abt your visit nw and gt depressed........just thank God that out of 365 days your visiting them only for 7days!!!!!!!!!

abcdguy · Feb 10, 2012

What does DH mean?

SriVidya75 · Feb 10, 2012

No one ever got into trouble by keeping their mouth shut (i.e by keeping calm)!!!!

just follow that mantra until you are back to your home in US. until then no thinking or decision making....only listening n observing!!!

Even if you see your husband making decisions without your approval...dont pick up argument there....you wont win anyways...or he wont see your point when he is surrounded by his emotions...so just observe, listen and take it in....speak when asked to...rest of the time...take care of your kid..spend more time with your kid....engage your kid in activities, coloring, playing, etc...