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Discussion in 'Married Life' started by pears123, Jan 17, 2012.

  1. pears123

    pears123 New IL'ite

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    hi,

    i already posted my problem few months back in the thread called regaining trust.right now my problem is im being very good to my hubby these days,earlier i used to fight with him for his EMAs and situations were extremely bad.but now i dunno why i suddenly started being really good to him(for info:my mother inlaw does a lot of poojas in the rite way).and things now at house r back to normal and even hes trying to change a lot.. seeing me change.but im very much astonished by this sudden change in me.even im not able to understand as how i changed cos i used to fight horribly before cos of his EMA.

    Now i jus want to know did i forgive him easily.. what im doing is right.?im so confused.my hubby also told that seeing me change even hes changing and earlier also he said he will show the change in him.dont know whether to trust him or not.
    pls advice.
     
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  2. indianinbayarea

    indianinbayarea New IL'ite

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    Hi Pears123

    Before Replying I made sure I read your thread " Regaining Trust". To be honest I don't think you had any proof in the first place that he was cheating. You said she was his colleague, may be he was talking office work. There is a possibility that he is not physical or having sex with her. May be just likes to talk to her. If that's cheating then yes you have the proof( cell phone bills and all that). I am not saying this because I am a guy myself and I am justifying that what he is doing is right. But I personally think that you and his family should be his first priority. Not his colleague.

    Coming to your question - I am happy that he is changing and you are happy too. I mean you two are married and have 2 kids so having good relationship with husband also has a positive effect on the kids. Please remember kids are growing big and if they see their mom and dad fight, that does not look good. In this if husband hits you that's even worse. So try to be happy, try not to argue. If you want to tell him something wait for a opportunity and then try to make your point. I just hope you and him are happy.
     
  3. JGVR

    JGVR Gold IL'ite

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    If you have forgiven him then i guess you are the best human being in the world.Only human beings have the quality/choice of forgiving other's mistakes.

    Marriage is for the couples to enjoy their life's journey together.It is not to fight and find fault with each other.So if you change, he also changes-so continue this and be the change for a better future for yourself and your family.
     
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  4. indianinbayarea

    indianinbayarea New IL'ite

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  5. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Pears,

     
  6. pears123

    pears123 New IL'ite

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    hi,

    thks all for the imm replies..with reg to indianinbayarea post..i feel my hubby had an affair cos they were in constant touch and cell bill reached to 15,000 and wen i asked him he said comp will...that was a lie and moreover we were previously in germany and i had to come back cos i had health problem wen i conceived for the 2nd time after i left to india,i came to know that she went to germany dunno wen she went so there was every possibility of them having physical and moroever from other sources wen they were in india i heard that my hubby and she were been seen in malls,theartes and going in cars.wat more proofs do i require...and wennerv i used to question him all he used to do was to hit me.but to be very frank my realtionship from day 1 was not good we used to fight terribly over various things...

    with reg to JGVR and satchinanda:what u people r saying is rite that wen things are happy rite now i should be glad and happy..but on the other side i always have the fear that my hubby will take me for granted that no matter what my wife is there even if he goes around with any other female he still can come back to me.if i think i can forgive him but wen ever i think f the matter that he wuld have slept i hate him all the more its tough to forgive to an EMA person.but ive been asking for the past 2 years the only thing he says that the colleague loves but i dnt like her but my quetsion is why so many calls to her why was he close to her?
    im confused pls advice
    sorry for the long post.
     
  7. pears123

    pears123 New IL'ite

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    Hi,

    please friends give more suggestions..
     

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