Change of Mind

[JUSTIFY]:eek The rasam is very spicy today. The vegetable is very hot too. You have outdone yourself today. I need some yogurt to eat this.

I see the steam coming out of BH's ears, nose ...... His eyes are watering and his face is a vivid shade of crimson.

I taste the vegetable and rasam. OK, it is on the spicier side, but does not warrant any of the dramatics that I am treated to.

Next day the chillies are reduced by half. Dinner time sees another drama. The food is too bland today. Now BH does not like to eat pickles (salt is on the list of no-nos). So I have to endure this cribbing through dinner time. :bang

My mind travels back to 15 years ago. I come from a family where chillies are meticulously avoided. Dad who could eat anything without flinching a muscle would start hiccupping if there was a chilli in the next room. That was the only time when he would ask Mom if she had emptied all the chillies from the market into the dish. I on the contrary was very attached to my pickles (to the extent that the pickle jar would be clutched tightly in my arms when I went to sleep - could not allow anyone else to get at them, could I??? OK, OK, just kidding. But that was only to make a point). One of the favourite sports of my sister, mom and dad at meal times was to ignore their plates, stare at mine :rant and keep telling me how my stomach would part company with me one of these days. I would be asked if I ate pickle with rice or vice versa.

When I got married, I spent a few years in mil's house. I quite liked her food, except for the fact that I could not quite do justice to it. Much as I liked spicy food, I would be putting on the act BH now treats me to - red face, fuming nostrils ..... I took over the kitchen and started toning down the spice drastically. The food was relished nonetheless with occasional comments about how "kozhandai udardu muttam pole irrukku" (meaning it is as gentle as the kiss of a baby :kiss. What on earth were they complaining about? I can't think of any bliss greater than that)!!!!!

Back to today - same BH who wanted really spicy stuff earlier, is unable to stand it anymore.

Way back, when we were just married, I would be treated to endless comments about my short hair and how I should grow them out - I on the other hand was fed up of long hair and did not want to think "long" for the rest of my life. Last week, I was headed to the hair dressers. Having grown bored of seeing the same face peering back at me from the mirror for the last so many years, I was reflecting on whether I should grow out the hair a bit. A call to BH to get some help with this very difficult life and death matter left me with my jaw dropping. He says "cut them. It will be more convenient for you" . Am I hallucinating, am I hearing right? Anyway, I am not complaining. At least the onus of a major life-threatening decision has been temporarily lifted from my shoulders.

A couple of Sundays ago - we are preparing to go for a wedding reception. No great fancier of saris (except admiring them on others), I have got myself a couple of good dresses to wear for the occasion. Still at the last moment, doubts assail me about whether I would look presentable or not. So I ask BH whether I should wear a saree or a dress. (I must have fallen upon hard times when a quick decision maker like me consults someone who takes 5 years to decide whether to take a day off or not). "Wear a dress. It will be easier for you to manage", comes the prompt reply :drowning. Such a prompt decision from one who used to keep asking me why I did not wear sarees? I wonder if it is time to ? Is the doctor ill? Or am I ill? Or maybe both of us are.

Seriously, I thought changing one's mind is a woman's prerogative. No book ever told me that in this era of equality of the sexes, men have earned the right to do so too. Or is it Nature's way of making sure that the battle of the sexes never comes to an end? :coffee This puts what I heard about husband and wife looking like each other after a few years of marriage in a totally different light. They don't look or think like each other as in sharing a point of view. It is just that husband starts looking and thinking like the wife and vice versa. They change over to the opposite sides of the table. Period.

There seems to be an immutable law that both BHs are required to have conflicting, vacillating opinions on every matter, so as to give the old man (or is it woman) upstairs a chance to :rotfl continuously. Maybe laughter being the best medicine, He/She has decided to have a megabig dose of it through the ages, so that He/She is in the best of health and cheer. Maybe that is His/Her secret of such a loooooooooooooooooooooong life!!!!![/JUSTIFY]

P.S. For those who don't remember the earlier explanation and in reply to Kamalji's fb, I thought I would just clarify:

BH under normal circumstances could be taken to mean Better Half or Bitter Half depending on context and could apply equally to husband or wife.

When used by the wife, it could also mean Beloved Husband or Bekaar Husband or Bhondoo Husband depending on the context.

This gives a certain amount of welcome flexibility to the term which I personally prefer over DH.

 

Dear Kamalji,

Thanks so much for the very quick first reply.

 

Hi Kamala,

So nice to see your quick response.

 

Vijima, it is nice to know that you too like spices. I remember Mama's and BH's expression when both of us kept going at the pickles. :-D Paruppu podi and Avakkai. What a wonderful combination. Add beans poriyal or raita to it, and it is a delectable meal.