Indian Arranged Marriage - Age Gap Between the Bride and the Groom?

salvation · May 23, 2011

Ladies

I am 33 and my parents have brought me an alliance of a girl who is 25 years - An age gap of 8 years. They are happy because she is from the same caste.

I have always felt that an ideal age gap between a guy and a gal for marriage is between 3 and 5 years which can be extended till 7 at the max. - I had to bluntly refuse the alliance saying that the girl is too young for me.

But I fail to understand how come the parents / brothers / girl agreed to this ?

But most importantly, I am not sure but can I still go ahead with a difference of 8 years. I am a typical south indian and yes, I will be granted only 15 minutes of time to speak to the girl and decide

Please throw in your views

ars · May 23, 2011

I understand your views about the age difference of 7 years.
But there is not a set of rule in any marriage for the age difference. Its how well you get along with your spouse that matters.
If age is the only reason not to meet her than its not right. Atleast meet her.

riya123 · May 23, 2011

OP, there is no hard and fast rule that brides with a certain age gap only will get along in the marriage. You might find yourself compatible with a girl who might be 10 years younger than you and be at loggerheads with someone who is 3 years younger than you.

asuitablegirl · May 23, 2011

I highly suggest you take more than 15 minutes to decide if you want to marry her. You may think this tradition of meeting the girl for 15 minutes is quaint and romantic, but picking the wrong person and all the problems that go with that can lead to major heartbreak and broken families. Take your time. If you need an hour or couple of days, ask for extra time. Right now everyone is standing by you because weddings are fun and picking out brides is like a scene from a movie. But when troubles happen in a marriage or God forbid divorce happens.... you will see that suddenly your well wishers are nowhere to be found.

You're the one marrying the girl.... not your parenst, siblings, or friends. If you feel 8 years age gap is too big, then you have every right not to meet the girl if you don't want to. Your life, your decision. I had a love marriage and our age gap is 13 years. Yes, it has caused some difficulties about planning our life and future, however we are still really happy with each other. But really, it doesn't matter what I think or anyone else thinks about age gap. It matters what YOU think. Always stay true to yourself and do what you think is best for YOU.

Good luck finding the girl of your dreams. Hope you have a fantastic wedding and happy married life ahead.

Monakumar · May 23, 2011

No need to worry about age difference. But be sure if the bride is suitable for you in all aspects. Don't decide anything before seeing her. If she is willing to marry you thinking that you are better choice for her, then why you are hesitating.

Here I would like to share my own life with you. For me and my husband , age difference is 8 years and ours is purely arranged marriage with perfect horoscope match. In my case my age was 21 1/2 and my husband's age was 29. For a decade we are happy with each other and we are successful in our future plans.

Go ahead and take your own decision without the interference of others. Advance best wishes for your prosperous and happy marriage life.

nemesis · May 23, 2011

Arranged marriage is science and love marriage is an art, so try to find that artistry in your arranged marriage.

Good Luck!!

lathaviswa · May 23, 2011

In present condition its quite difficult to find a bride.so why you want to see this?
All the best.

satchitananda · May 23, 2011

I agree with you that the lesser the age gap the better. Go by your instincts and do take time to talk at length over important matters with the prospective bride. That is certainly that is not to be glossed over. Agree with every word ASG has written about that. All the best.

sindura16 · May 24, 2011

May be in past it would have not mattered what is the age gap but it matters now ..

because you are 33 and you might have done this and that n seen all the fun place but she is too young she might want to see and have fun in something which you might think its childish...

so talk with the girl and decide ...but i think 3yrs age gap is much better...

gujulady · May 24, 2011

Hi Salvation,

I was about to suggest you to go with your instincts. But just then I remembered one of my lecturer during my college days. He was 26 yrs old and his parents found a girl of 18yrs old. He bluntly refused that alliance due to age difference but his parents forced him to at-least meet that girl once. He met her and talked to her for couple hours. He fell in love with her and married her later. The reason he told us was that the girl was more mature in her talks beyond her age. His elder brother too was shocked by her level of thinking and analyzing.

You can meet her once but do tell your parents that ultimately it's going to be your decision to agree to marry her. I would strongly advise you to meet your future bride face to face not just hearing voice over phone.