toddler scared of going to toilet!

Parvathi, my son also had the issue of not wanting to sit the school potty to do his thing. At this point, he is actually old enough to undress himself, stand and pee in the potty. We are now trying to get him to aim it into the western toilet.
Some children are scared of the big potty and the sound flush makes. It does take a lot of patience and reassurance to help them overcome their fear.
One of the mommies here suggested dropping a couple of fuitloops into the toilet and turning peeing into a game. The child gets to hit the colourful loops with their pee. I intend getting some colourful flushable stuff to start training to pee standing up.
I have no suggestion for your second question. We did a lot preparation for school last year with books and animations on how it is to go to school. DS was very happy for a month and the all hell broke loose. He would cry to the point of getting sick every day. It was not worth the while for us and we took DS off school. We are getting readmitted this June - fingerscrossed.

 

Parvati, I was going to suggest this. I saw my FIL use this trick to teach his grandson. My nephew loved 'aiming' at the fruit loops. We have a 28 month old girl and the way we started her potty training was introduced the bathroom to her. The main goal was to get her comfortable in the bathroom, so I put a basket of books (since she loves to be read) and we would put her on the potty seat and read to her. Whether she went or not, we would ask her to flush or we would flush and make it sound like it's the most fun thing to do. She has never been scared of flushing sounds or sitting on the potty chair. I know some of my friends even put a potty seat on the floor and take the kid with them whenever they had to go.

So spend some time in the bathroom everyday, as crazy as it sounds, doing what your son likes best - reading, playing with his toys etc. Ask him to flush and assure him lovingly it's nothing to be scared of. To begin with, don't do it while he is on the toilet, do it while he's standing next to it and explain to him that the water coming out makes the sound.

Raj

 

Parvati,
Every kid is different and unique too. You can try the sticker method.
If he goes to the bathroom, each time he can get a colorful, favourite
sticker. Try if it works for your son. My DD is 3.5 and she is ok in school.
But before the bed time she resists to go to bathroom. If I show some
stickers then she goes. Otherwise she says only `NO NO NO`